Jump to content

Can you realise further down the line that someone is 'the one'?


forevertrying

Recommended Posts

People always say that when you meet Mr or Mrs Right, you will know.

The question is when do you actually know? Can 'the one' be staring at you right in the face but you don't know it or choose not to believe.

 

Reasons being that there may be other issues in the way such as insecurity, past relationships and trust being a put off.

 

Then the fact that you both get on so well, talk all the time, think the same, have the most intimate moments and treat each other very kindly could be the signs that it is true love. Being so loving and doing all the things you would if it were in a relationship but wanting to take it easy and relieve stess of commitment because of fears that it may not work out and have other issues to deal with.

 

Does this make sense?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"People always say that when you meet Mr or Mrs Right, you will know.'

 

not necessarily. It' all so romanticized ("you will "know" when he / she comes along..."), but truth is IMO your issues come into play as to how you will perceive a person / relationship and whether you will recognize it as "true love" and be willing to commit.

 

I think that mre and more relationships are disposable and that people are confused about what is the right person for them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me I did know.After the first date I just knew that this girl was the one. If someone is in front of your face and you dont even know then chances are that they are not the one.I say this because the one would be passionate about you and youd feel that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me I did know.After the first date I just knew that this girl was the one. If someone is in front of your face and you dont even know then chances are that they are not the one.I say this because the one would be passionate about you and youd feel that.

 

How can you make such a blatant generalization?

 

some people have testifies that there relationship developed very slowly and that they didn't know necessarilly that "the one" was in front of them right from the get go.

On the other hand, I think some people think they ahve met th elove of their life only to split up for good eventually.

I really think that personal stuff gets in the way of who we are attracted to / a choosing the right person / building a strong relationship.

oh and people feel "passionate" all the time, it doens't mean their feelings don't change... I mean, define "The One", "Mr Right", Ms Right".,......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I do feel that. He is very passionate when we are together but I also know that he is scared of getting involved too much incase he ends up heartbroken once again. And the more feelings that he has for me the more he will get hurt if things turn sour. I don't think they would but feel he is a but more sensitive or even 'sensible' than me, lol. Looking out for his own good and being cautious in a sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its hard to describe from my experience.I just felt like I was coming home.I belonged...there were alot of things which I had never felt before.

For me in my experience I could see who liked me because of their warmth and yes passion as such.A passion to go out of their way to see me ..to come close to me..to touch me gently. While I can appreciate the slower relationships I do believe that their needs to be a spark to start the fire.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its hard to describe from my experience.I just felt like I was coming home.I belonged...there were alot of things which I had never felt before.

For me in my experience I could see who liked me because of their warmth and yes passion as such.A passion to go out of their way to see me ..to come close to me..to touch me gently. While I can appreciate the slower relationships I do believe that their needs to be a spark to start the fire.

 

TB

 

I felt all that... and I thought, felt, he was The One, the most unbelievable connection, feelings, complicity, ... opening our hearts, laughing, believing,...

 

... and HE LEFT ME.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, the thing is there was a spark, a very big one and things were moving a bit too fast on both parts and he decided to back off, realising that this may end up in tears but now that we are starting again, it's still got that spark as passionate as it were at the start but much less pressure and I can feel the difference, a good difference. weird I know. Probz coz i have always been in rushed relationships and this feels more relaxed and laid back approach. A bit more casual thatn before which I suppose it should be at the beginning.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

TB

 

I felt all that... and I thought, felt, he was The One, the most unbelievable connection, feelings, complicity, ... opening our hearts, laughing, believing,...

 

... and HE LEFT ME.

 

 

 

You had bad luck. I found alot of commonalities that said to me this girl and myself were also very similar in beliefs,ideals eg family..morals.. I have felt many nice feelings for quite a few women but she was just special and all the addedd compatibility was a reflection my values. The other thing was just this sense of loyalty....it is hard to describe simplistically.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, the thing is there was a spark, a very big one and things were moving a bit too fast on both parts and he decided to back off, realising that this may end up in tears but now that we are starting again, it's still got that spark as passionate as it were at the start but much less pressure and I can feel the difference, a good difference. weird I know. Probz coz i have always been in rushed relationships and this feels more relaxed and laid back approach. A bit more casual thatn before which I suppose it should be at the beginning.

 

If the passion is still there and rationality prevails as you get to know each other then you will make a wiser choice in the end. He wants you ..you want him....he just wants to take it slower to see your qualities because of his past experience

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think so.

I mean, I didn't realize my boyfriend was 'the one' till well into the relationship. There was no chemistry on my part when we met...we build a friendship, then started dating..and things went really slow.

 

It wasn't until the relationship was well underway..say maybe a year and half in..did I really go "I could spend my life with him..."

 

There were alot of reasons, self doubt, lack of self esteem, disbelief, etc on my part being in the relationship that I had to work through and realized that yes he is the one I want to spend my life with and that I deserve him, I deserved a great guy and a great relationship and to just accept it.

 

Not everyone sees THE ONE right from the minute they meet. Many of my friends have said they didn't think their partner was the one when they wallked into the room. Just because it happens for some, doesn't mean it happens to everyone.

 

But it is true, you will just know. For some it happens instantly, others takes time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont understand this question. You with someone, your happy, they are happy, but u need to know if they are "the one"?

 

Why? Your both happy, why would u need to know that? Sure u dont want to waste time on a relationship if its not going to work out, but thus far it is, so why question it?

 

The people that are saying they are with "the one", might break up in a year from now, but wait! i thought u were with "the one". all they can say is, i was wrong, i thought they were, but they were not.

 

In a perfect world, when you guys get married is when you know your with "the one", but obviously that does not hold true either with the divorce rate the way it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me I did know.After the first date I just knew that this girl was the one. If someone is in front of your face and you dont even know then chances are that they are not the one.I say this because the one would be passionate about you and youd feel that.

Yup, I have had that feeling before but I also believe sometimes you don't end up with the "one". You might have met them too early or too late or any other situation out of your control.

 

How can you make such a blatant generalization?

 

some people have testifies that there relationship developed very slowly and that they didn't know necessarilly that "the one" was in front of them right from the get go.

On the other hand, I think some people think they ahve met th elove of their life only to split up for good eventually.

I really think that personal stuff gets in the way of who we are attracted to / a choosing the right person / building a strong relationship.

oh and people feel "passionate" all the time, it doens't mean their feelings don't change... I mean, define "The One", "Mr Right", Ms Right".,......

I also agree that situations change and that might affect the entire way you feel about someone. So maybe you have met the "one" but they aren't the one till they make the changes.

 

A passion to go out of their way to see me ..to come close to me..to touch me gently. While I can appreciate the slower relationships I do believe that their needs to be a spark to start the fire.

Wow, you seem to be describing something I have been through/going through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me I did know.After the first date I just knew that this girl was the one. If someone is in front of your face and you dont even know then chances are that they are not the one.I say this because the one would be passionate about you and youd feel that.

 

I agree with 1morechance, this is not always the case.

 

It is a "given" that people's fears and insecurities will come into play and that a relationship must be built on trust over a period of time.

 

Just because someone is passionate in the beginning about you, it certainly doesnt mean they love you or they are a "keeper", remember that thing called Lust...?

 

ie. my boyfriend is so lovely and kind, but I had terrible trouble opening up because of past hurts, but I now have as I have learnt over time to trust him and now feel its safe to open up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...