It's all about her.

[ellekay]

Sidenote: this is my first time posting here. I was browsing around and I've been reading on the forums. It's a long read... i'm sorry -_-;

 

So I have been friends with this girl, Jessica, for about five years. She was my best friend. We used to talk about everything together and it was really great.

 

but last summer, she went to virginia for her sister's wedding and she met a guy. she got to know him for two days and when she returned, all she did was text him 24/7. And by september, he became her boyfriend. the texting became worse. I mean, she would not let go of that damn thing.

 

I guess that was when everything began to change. I understand that he's her first boyfriend and she's excited. but that doesn't really explain a lot. She used to be this down to earth girl but now she's a complete fake around people. She uses her boyfriend as something to put herself up in a higher social status and constantly looks down on me. Everything is about her now and I feel like she's tryiing to drag my happiness down so that she can feel better about herself.

 

For example, if there was a decent guy talking to me that she didn't know, she'll butt in and ruin a good conversation. Fine, I get it if she's interested in the guy but she has a freaking boyfriend accross the country. And when she's able to get a guy to tell her that he's interested in her, she'll avoid the topic and continue to lead the guy on. I think it's so freaking messed up.

 

Another thing is that she tries to pin everything down on me, no matter how stupid it may be. She always has to be right and she can never be wrong. And she has to know about everything. So when she started this misunderstanding between these two people, she said I said something that triggered it. I managed to call her out on it, but she only admitted her wrong when the truth turned up, and things were looking bad for her.

 

I don't know where my best friend went. I called her out on everything. and she feels like she hasn't done anything wrong and she's just being herself. She called the leading on, being friendly. the blame as something she forgets. And when it seems like she's losing me, she's started to act like she cares.

 

I'm really tired of it. There's just so much more to rant about but I think I wrote enough. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do because I'm torn with the decision to end the friendship or to bear with it since she's been my best friend for five years and we've been through so much together. Has anyone been in a situation like this?

[KileOriginal]

1) This whole long distance boy friend thing will probably fall apart at some point in the future.

 

2) Sometimes people feel more confident and secure when in a relationship, and combined with the fact that being in love usually makes you a little stupid, its easy to see her throwing it around to boost her ego.

 

3) All you can do is be honest and straight forward with her that she's being pretty rude and messed up. You still love her, but how she's been behaving is too much for you.

 

4) You have to be ready to walk away from her no matter how much it hurts. Your leaving her may be the only catalyst that could keep her from becoming a real b$%ch.

 

5) I'd be willing to forgive and forget if she's willing to come around, but keep in mind that these recent changes in her might just be her real personality developing in a way you don't like.

[wantstobhappy]

wow, i have definitely been in this situation. when my best friend for six years got a boyfriend, it seemed like he was her ENTIRE WORLD, then when other guys liked her and she got kind of tired of her bf, she decided that she would flirt with them and keep her bf at the same time. she got so wrapped up with herself that she didnt even realize that she was CHANGING. Your friend is no longer the best friend she use to be im afraid to tell you. im not sure if it's a phase or permanent, but it is most likely that she will continue to be like this for awhile. it's time to be yourself! keep you happiness! hang out with other friends, meet new people, be spirited and live YOUR life. when she tries to be all buddy-buddy with you, dont fall for it, jst tell her you are trying to be happy. im sure that ya'll will part a little, but like me, I still talk to my old best friend, and we still love each other, we just don't talk and hang out all the time like we use to. hope this helps =)

[Llama Dancer]

Relationships are constantly in a state of flux. Try not to pin it down or define your friendship. Be honest and forthright with her in your feelings. After that, let go a bit. Perhaps she will return to you, perhaps she will not. If she does, you might not feel the same way. Do you have deeper feelings for this woman than friendship?