edm07 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 So here's a little bit of my story. I was Dealing with this girl last year, didnt reach a dating stage but we hung out n I wanted it to reach a dating stage eventually. It never happened and she eventually started dating another guy n I driffted out of the picture giving her space. Fast forward a few months and she wants to talk. Says she misses the times we use to hang out, n it just so happens to be at the time that her and this guy broke up. So whatever, were talking and hanging out n it seemed to be going pretty good. I went away with her for a weekend with my buddy and one of her friends, which they both hooked up and are dating steady. Anyways the weekend seemed good, we fooled around and once the weekend was over she became distant. Things didn't fall threw because I got frustrated how she became distant after we had a good weekend and she only wanted to be friends. I cut her off completely for 8 months. Fast forward even more to about 3 weeks ago where I get a random msg from her, basically saying how she wants to break the ice so we can all hang out, and be civil so there isn't any tension in the group, so all 4 of us can hang out. I accepted. This past weekend was a good one, a bunch of us went out to a movie, the bar and the casino. That night I was talking to her and she seemed spaced out so I asked if something was wrong n this was the convo... I asked if something was wrong and she said " I wanna tell u but i dunno if its a good idea" but i was able to work it out of her and she said "lately after we all have been chillin together, ive never had this much fun to tell u the truth, ive been happy. and now that me n u r always set up so that no one is a 5th wheel its just remindin me of the good old days and i like it . and i didnt wanna say anythin.. but it brought bac my old feelings too and overall i kno u would never look at me like that again but now after everythin i realized that me and u woulda been really good together and ya .., i dunno wut else to say ive just matured a lot if u wanna believe it or not and now i kno wut i want . the end thats my thoughts" I was speechless, cause I heard something simular in the past, how she wanted to hook up and not here to screw me over but she ran from me after we had that weeken away. So I'm hesistant and don't kno if I can trust her. How do I know she won't run away again if conflicts arise? anyone got any ideas or insights to this mess? Thanks!! Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Man, don't fall for that. Tell her you've matured and enjoy being her friend, but that's all you want from her. If you're healed after 8 months, don't put yourself in a position to be hurt by this woman again. Link to comment
edm07 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 well even she said shes matured, and knows what she wants so i point blank asked her what is it exactly that she wants? and she told me she wants to be with me. Sad thing is I do like her but I'm just scared of being hurt. Cause I really don't know if she has matured like she claims. I only been talking to her for 3 weeks since a 8 month period of no contact. theres not really much for me to see in three weeks right? Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 You could agree to dating her, 1 evening a week, no staying over or sleeping together. See how you progress for a month. Stay detached and see how she acts. Link to comment
edm07 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 ya i see what your saying... if she could show me that she has matured than id consider it, cause at this point im thinking she will run if something wrong happens, her excuse being that she wasnt ready for commitment, but than i think well how did u all of a sudden have this striking revelation? kinda seems like she just likes the chaise Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 You can get these books that give you a massive list of questions to slide into conversation - in a way they are screening questions to flush out personal valus in your date - might be worth getting as I find it useful to switch and ditch new dates who have skewered personal values. You need to put her through the mill, test her patience and commitment. If you can be bothered that is! Link to comment
edm07 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 sounds like an idea, not big on dating books tho... my plan was to just go it slow, observe how she acts as to how she use to act in the past and just enjoy the company among friends. cant really force what will be or what wont be. Link to comment
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