jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 God, it's been like 5 months since we broke up... and I'm still as in love with him as I was the day we broke up. What's the deal? I've gone no contact I've dated other people I've read self-help books I've talked to a therapist What the hell did this ass do to me!? I can't move on. I love him so much. I know we're both in totally different places and getting back together at this point in time wouldn't be a good idea...but for god's sake... let me just move on already! I've never gotten out of a relationship and NOT bounced back within a month MAX. He's different. I've been in love before, I dated and was engaged to a man for four years and I rebounded and moved on within a couple of WEEKS. What gives? Why is he so special? Link to comment
UCLAMike Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 because he "no longer wants you" Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Other guys I've broken up with haven't wanted me but it didn't phase me. He still loves me, misses me.... but we live 2000 miles away (YES, it was a real relationship, not a cyber one) Link to comment
KG Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sorry you are so down. I don't have any answers for you, I just hope you come to terms with it. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thank you kg for the support... I just don't understand why it's taking so long. Seriously, what did he DO to get me so deep in Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 ILMBC, I know how you feel. Some people, they just leave THAT type of impression on you, that when it does end, it leaves an emptiness in your heart. Maybe when you do meet someone else that you truly "click" with, this feeling will pass. I'm not sure. I still miss one person in my life, even though there really was no "relationship". This person just left that much of an impression on me. And our lack of a friendship now, even hurts to this day. You ever think about trying to contact your ex again? Maybe a friendship? I know my opinion is not the common one. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 how long were you together. Hell it takes upwards of a year for some people to start feeling better. Some people here have been broken up for seven, eight, nine months and are still struggling and thinking about their exes all day. I've been broken up for 2 1/2 months since my ex and I last broke up and I'm a mess. Just make progress each day and you'll be fine. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks Ren. It really sucks doesn't it? I actually IMed him today and we've been talking. I told him how I felt and he said he misses me and thinks about me a lot. I told him I still love him, he said the same... I also said I agreed that it would be best not to get back together (he said it first)...because it's true. The timing is all wrong. It makes me wonder though... I think he may be "the one". Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 how long were you together. Hell it takes upwards of a year for some people to start feeling better. Some people here have been broken up for seven, eight, nine months and are still struggling and thinking about their exes all day. I've been broken up for 2 1/2 months since my ex and I last broke up and I'm a mess. Just make progress each day and you'll be fine. We were friends for a year, then started a relationship and were together for just over a year... so, I mean..it wasn't a horribly long time. I've had longer relationships that I healed quicker from. I don't get it. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I know how you feel.. I had a split up because of distance and it sucks! Ithink that's the worst... distance si so frustrating. because you are apart, then you get so easily frustrated with each other... if you have an argument, you can't even give the person a hug to make things better and you end up saying things or doing things that would never happen had that person been there. Link to comment
heatspreader Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Did you ever actually meet him? I was in a situation all too similar but due too certain circumstances never actually got to meet. Now I constantly wonder about what could have been had we been able to. Could you be thinking along these lines? Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 We were friends for a year, then started a relationship and were together for just over a year... so, I mean..it wasn't a horribly long time. I've had longer relationships that I healed quicker from. I don't get it. well you're only 22. You got engaged really early. You probably didn't have the emotional maturity to really invest in a relationship that early. Also, when you leave a long relationship, there's often a feeling of relief and freedom especially if it really wasn't working. Here it just seems, you fell in love, invested a lot of your energy and emotion and it ended before you were ready for it to. You're totally normal. Just focus on you and making progress each day. We're here if you need us. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 I know how you feel.. I had a split up because of distance and it sucks! Ithink that's the worst... distance si so frustrating. because you are apart, then you get so easily frustrated with each other... if you have an argument, you can't even give the person a hug to make things better and you end up saying things or doing things that would never happen had that person been there. That is EXACTLY it!!! When we were together, we were SO great together. We didn't break up because the love wasn't there anymore. I think that's the hardest thing to come to terms with. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Did you ever actually meet him? I was in a situation all too similar but due too certain circumstances never actually got to meet. Now I constantly wonder about what could have been had we been able to. Could you be thinking along these lines? Yes! Of course we met. We saw each other roughly once a month for anywhere from 4-14 days at a time Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 well you're only 22. You got engaged really early. You probably didn't have the emotional maturity to really invest in a relationship that early. Also, when you leave a long relationship, there's often a feeling of relief and freedom especially if it really wasn't working. Here it just seems, you fell in love, invested a lot of your energy and emotion and it ended before you were ready for it to. You're totally normal. Just focus on you and making progress each day. We're here if you need us. Oh, the engagement was with a different guy. And yes, I was too immature for that and am GLAD I didn't marry so young. I just can't help but think it's not over, that something will be in the future. After I graduate college, I plan to move to California (where he lives). In NO WAY because of him, but because I love it out there.. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks Ren. It really sucks doesn't it? I actually IMed him today and we've been talking. I told him how I felt and he said he misses me and thinks about me a lot. I told him I still love him, he said the same... I also said I agreed that it would be best not to get back together (he said it first)...because it's true. The timing is all wrong. It makes me wonder though... I think he may be "the one". Do you guys plan on staying friends and chatting on and off? I do hope things work out for you. Distance can be a hard thing to overcome in a relationship, unless you move to be closer (which I think you were willing to do). EDIT: Saw your last post. I do hope you move out here. Weather is great and overall, good state to be in (besides the economy, which sucks right now). Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 That is EXACTLY it!!! When we were together, we were SO great together. We didn't break up because the love wasn't there anymore. I think that's the hardest thing to come to terms with. ahh.. I know... same with me.. when we were together I can't even explain how good it was on all levels... ALL levels. For me, physical touch, not just sex (although that is important too) is soo important. hugs, touch... you can't have a relationship without that. When someone is having a bad day, and all you can do is stare at your skype screen or say, "Oh i'm sorry" on the phone. That, for me, got soooo frustrating. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Do you guys plan on staying friends and chatting on and off? I do hope things work out for you. Distance can be a hard thing to overcome in a relationship, unless you move to be closer (which I think you were willing to do). EDIT: Saw your last post. I do hope you move out here. Weather is great and overall, good state to be in (besides the economy, which sucks right now). I feel like I have to have him in my life... other guys I've dated since John... I start talking to them and will be telling them something that happened to me and start laughing HYSTERICALLY..but then, I realize...they're not laughing with me...and THEN, I realize only HE would find that funny too. It's hard. I was more than willing to move out there and finish school out there...he just..wasn't. ahh.. I know... same with me.. when we were together I can't even explain how good it was on all levels... ALL levels. For me, physical touch, not just sex (although that is important too) is soo important. hugs, touch... you can't have a relationship without that. When someone is having a bad day, and all you can do is stare at your skype screen or say, "Oh i'm sorry" on the phone. That, for me, got soooo frustrating. Ugh, I know... the physical touch is so important to me. It's not just the sex. I can go without it if I HAVE to...but the kissing, touching, hugging, sleeping with each other... so important. Even the webcam thing--so not the same. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 This might sound cliche and stupid but if he is the 'one' then I reckon you will get back together espcially as you're moving to Cali. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I feel like I have to have him in my life... other guys I've dated since John... I start talking to them and will be telling them something that happened to me and start laughing HYSTERICALLY..but then, I realize...they're not laughing with me...and THEN, I realize only HE would find that funny too. It's hard. . oh my god... this is soooo true!! The thing we shared was our similar, ridiculous, (and forgive my nonPC-ness)but retarded, offensive sense of humour!... so much so that we both spat our food up at nice restaurants several times from laughing so hard together.. booo! Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 oh my god... this is soooo true!! The thing we shared was our similar, ridiculous, (and forgive my nonPC-ness)but retarded, offensive sense of humour!... so much so that we both spat our food up at nice restaurants several times from laughing so hard together.. booo! Oh god, YES!!! Hahaha, it makes me laugh thinking about it...we were in this posh sushi place one night and he made some sort of COMPLETELY un-PC comment about blowjobs LOUDLY... we started laughing hysterically and this lady in a fur hat just GLARED. I just...can't be my usual retarded un-PC self with anyone else! (Keep in mind he's a social worker and I'm a social work major!!! hahaha) Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Maybe because of the distance it was one of those things you wanted because you "couldn't have". If that makes sense. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Maybe because of the distance it was one of those things you wanted because you "couldn't have". If that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense...I've thought about that too... it's just that we were SO good for each other... I know for a fact I'll never meet anyone who I click with as well as him. We just KNEW each other, we got each other.. Sometimes, we wouldn't even have to say anything--we just knew what the other was thinking. He's my counterpart, that's for sure. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Yeah, that makes sense...I've thought about that too... it's just that we were SO good for each other... I know for a fact I'll never meet anyone who I click with as well as him. We just KNEW each other, we got each other.. Sometimes, we wouldn't even have to say anything--we just knew what the other was thinking. He's my counterpart, that's for sure. I think you'll find that again! I don't really believe in the 'one' it's just the waiting that is annoying. Sounds like you need some form of closure. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 I think you'll find that again! I don't really believe in the 'one' it's just the waiting that is annoying. Sounds like you need some form of closure. I don't know, to be honest...We were just so right for each other. In every way. We've both agreed we'll probably never meet anyone who we click with so well as we do each other. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm romanticizing the relationship in my head. Link to comment
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