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What do you feel you should be doing?


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Do you ever feel like you don't know what you should be doing at this point in your life?


I've been thinking about this lately, wondering what I shouldn't or shouldn't do as a college student who takes his career development seriously. I somehow feel that I have to push myself away from others in order to improve at doing what I do (musician). I see romantic relationships as distracting, but perhaps it could add a great dimension to my life. I've never had a girlfriend, only been on one date, and am fine with admitting that. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my life. However, I'm questioning what could happen in reality. Every time I put on the "I want to meet a young lady" hat, I feel like I am compromising everything I do.


I don't do a lot of things that a lot of people do. I seldom watch TV anymore, drinking doesn't appeal to me in the same way as it does to others, I don't know what the latest movies are, etc. However, I do share with others. I invite everyone I know to my gigs, make mix CDs for friends/classmates, and try to bring a positive vibe to life.


On one side, I'm one of the most proactive musicians at my college... which isn't to brag, but to state just how seriously I take music. From day one as a freshman up until now, the intention has always been the same: stay focused. My efforts now will increase my chances of success later on. Yet, practicing and writing and playing music with great intensity can't be the only way to grow.


I go out to this live music club every week to hang out and play music with my friends, only recently got into the habit of starting conversations with both men and women just for the sake of working on being a better conversationalist. I'm much more talkative than I used to be, but I haven't connected with anyone yet.


Anyway, just something that has been on my mind.

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My last boyfriend was a muscian [ it's something he does fulltime ].

He composes all his own songs and just puts it online but he has a lot of fans and he's still debating whether to go out to British Columbia and work with David Ogilvie and start touring.

The thing is, if he were planning on touring when we were dating, we would have ended up breaking up at that point because he would need to focus on his music.

That's the problem with getting attached to someone. Sometimes you have to choose.

During that time we were together though, I was able to help him out [ I'm a graphic/web designer ] so I did a lot of promo stuff and built him a site and so forth. I even inspired some of his musical lyrics [ probably the angry ones lol ]. I was the one he asked to approve or disapprove of his music before it was released.

I figure if you're going to get a girlfriend, you should probably try to find one that can get involved with your music. That way, you can spend intimate time with her but also work time [ composing ] with her and she'll feel wanted if she can get involved.

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If you feel like you should be focussed on your music that's what you should be focussed on. I will agree with you though, being in love will add a definite dimension to your music. But it will also take away some of your freedom. You'll have to consider another person when doing things. It's really a coin toss, whatever you decide is the best for you is the right decision.

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Music is a fantastic help throughout any dark roads in life, be it as expression and outlet, or relating to some lyrics and knowing you're not alone, or even just admiring the more beautiful pieces.


Used to play guitar in an amateur band, did the majority of lyric writing too, but fell out of the loop.


I would love to get back into it. Maybe not as a guitarist, I was never fantastic, and its expensive, but I'd really love to improve on my voice and try as a vocalist and continue as a lyricist. But alas, where to start...

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Very true, Binoo. I definitely think it's important to respect what someone else enjoys doing, especially if it's career-related.. and it's even better if you can help each other. I've been fortunate enough to work (and spend a lot of time) at a live music venue just down the street from where I live, so I've accumulated wisdom and diversity over the years that not many young people get to experience in their everyday life.

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