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Hooked up FOUR times but she's still giving me mixed signals!


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Awesome Way to Tell She Likes You
Awesome Way to Tell She Likes You

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As the title explains, there's a girl at my uni that I like. In the past month or so, we've hooked up a lot - including staying with each other twice (although nothing's happened) other than passionate kissing.

 

Anyway, I've asked her out a few times - the first time, she was working and we've hooked up a few times in between then. We were going to see each other last week but I had to cancel as I was busy.

 

After cancelling last week, I invited her to a gig which was last night. She told me "provisionally yes" but it would depend on how she felt after she got back from a weekend away (in Amsterdam). When she was in Amsterdam she was texting me on Saturday night. Nothing in particular, just talking to each other in a playful way.

 

She got back on Sunday night and I sent her a text yesterday just to say welcome home. I didn't mention going to the gig, I figured I'd ease into it. Anyway, she ignored my text yesterday. She knew I'd probably remind her about the gig so my feeling is that she ignored me so she wouldn't have to reject me. And no, she wasn't busy yesterday. She was updating Facebook all day. I went to the gig with someone else but I am really confused by this girl.

 

One minute she seems to be interested and the next she's completely the opposite and I feel a bit of an idiot for chasing after her.

 

I called her out and said that there was no need to ignore me and that I'd have preferred her honesty and said "take care" to which she replied today that she didn't mean to and that it was unintentional.

 

I like her and would like to get to know her better, but I have no idea how she can blow hot and cold as and when it suits her. I think the best thing for me to do is to just move on and ignore her from now on but can somebody please try and explain what the hell is going on with her? I can't work her out! It'd be nice to have some idea...

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Thanks guys. I am not wanting to put her under pressure or anything but it's just a bit annoying that everytime things happen and I ask her out, she backs off. I could understand it if it maybe happened once. But she comes back for more and then backs off again and again. It just leaves me feeling a bit dizzy!

 

As I said, I'm not asking her to marry me or anything! It's just that I like her and would like something more than just a hook up every now and then. But I realise that by bringing this up with her it makes it a huge deal, which obviously I don't want to do. If she's not interested, she's not interested. That's fine. I just get mixed signals from her and I'd rather have some kind of idea if I'm wasting my time or not.

 

There's nothing more I can say to her now. I like her but there's nothing really left to say. All I can do is just carry on. Win some, lose some right?

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I think you have to look at her behavior to determine if she actually likes you. It seems that she isnt interested in anything more than hooking up. You want to get to know her more personally yet she likes the situation the way it is. You need to recognize this and realize that she isnt on the same page as you and you cannot treat her like she is. I suggest that if you are emotionally attached to this girl then you need to let her go. IF and ONLY IF you can remove your feelings from this situation and use your head then you can continue to hook up with her, but you can NEVER expect her to want more than hooking up.

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I think you have to look at her behavior to determine if she actually likes you. It seems that she isnt interested in anything more than hooking up. You want to get to know her more personally yet she likes the situation the way it is. You need to recognize this and realize that she isnt on the same page as you and you cannot treat her like she is. I suggest that if you are emotionally attached to this girl then you need to let her go. IF and ONLY IF you can remove your feelings from this situation and use your head then you can continue to hook up with her, but you can NEVER expect her to want more than hooking up.

 

You're right. Just gonna leave it.

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Damn dude, I feel for you....I'm in the EXACT same scenario, only I'm in high school, and the chick has a boyfriend when it is convenient for her >.

 

Take the advice some of these guys have left on my thread...It really is helpful. I know how hard it can get to cut your losses and just walk away, but sometimes, it's gotta be done =\

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It sounds to me like she is just into the sex. Unfortunately/Fortunately (it kinda goes both ways), girls these days are taking sexuality into their own hands and trying to be more like guys buy having casual sex. I agree with Day Walker...if you can set aside your feelings of wanting to date her, keep hooking up! Otherwise you will just end up more hurt and more confused. Or, you might also consider straight up asking her if she's interested in dating you, or whether she just wants to hook-up. Just be prepared for either response! I was recently in a situation where I wanted to ask a guy that question because he was sending me mixed signals...hooking up with me but then mentioning taking me out. I think he was just talking about taking me on a date because he felt obligated since we were having sex. So maybe your girl thinks you feel obligated to ask her out? I think it's best to just ask her, plain and simple, what she's looking for: sex or more than sex?

 

I hope that all made sense...I'm a little tired.

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Last night she text me and said: "Hey. I hope everything's OK between us. I'm really sorry if I pissed you off, my head's just a bit all over the place at the moment."

 

I responded by saying I understand and it's cool. A minute later she replied saying: "I like you a lot, I've just been * * * * ed about a lot lately. I dunno. It's not an excuse. I'm just rubbish. x"

 

I replied again and said I understood. After all, when I broke up with my ex I didn't feel like being with anyone else. Then she sent me a text asking if I was still awake as she wanted to give me a hug. I didn't reply to that.

 

At least I know where I stand now anyway. I could be suspicious and say that she's lying and is just pretending to care so she doesn't look horrible by telling me she's not interested but there's no point. Just gotta leave things be.

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