Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 This is not to brag or complain (too much lol). But lately I have been getting a lot of male attention, which is great! But from guys I have no interest in or one's that are creepy! I will admit that I have put my standards higher because of my ex. I would like to be friends with a guy before getting down to dating. I refuse to settle and date the first guy who asks me out. I'm not the type of person to have a relationship for the sake of it, plus I don't mind being single. But I think I am ready to meet some one new. I've been on some dates and they have been fun but I wasn't really interested in them apart from friendship. I really don't know where I'm going with this thread. I always get scared of going on dates in fear of getting into a relationship, what does that mean? I hate the whole hassle of dating. I find it stressful. That's why I prefer casual dating to full on relationships. Does anyone else feel the same? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 LOL, how would you be too picky for not liking guys that are creepy? I'd think something was wrong with you if you were. "Ooooh, that guy was so sexy and creepy. The way he was peering at me through the ski mask with those bedroom eyes while sitting in that rapist van and wielding that knife....made me wanna do him right then and there." lol, there is nothing at all wrong with being picky. nothing. I will never settle. I hope you never settle. There is also nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship right now. go at your own pace. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 you have had a full on relationship before right? Link to comment
NightLily Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I really do feel the same way. I have been seeing this guy non-exclusively for about 2.5 months and I just feel like gagging whenever I think about becoming his "girlfriend." I do like him as a person and enjoy his conversation/care for him yadda yadda, but a big part of me does want to just be single and focus on me. (because I have a lot of things to work on) If I wasn't still talking to him, considering I don't want a relationship really, I think I would just stop dating for a while all together. Oddly enough, that sounds like a little piece of heaven to me. Link to comment
Tethys Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Are you recently out of a relationship? It's great to be comfortable being single and not desperate for another relationship. You have a healthy mindset with that. Yes, there will always be creepy men hitting on you, always, lol. But, for the well-meaning ones, you should be honest but tactful. However, I am not a fan of the "be friends first" method of dating. I think that creates problems itself. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 LOL, how would you be too picky for not liking guys that are creepy? I'd think something was wrong with you if you were. "Ooooh, that guy was so sexy and creepy. The way he was peering at me through the ski mask with those bedroom eyes while sitting in that rapist van and wielding that knife....made me wanna do him right then and there." lol, there is nothing at all wrong with being picky. nothing. I will never settle. I hope you never settle. There is also nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship right now. go at your own pace. Hahahaha thanks for the laugh! LOL true! I mean even with 'normal' guys. I try and find something wrong with them so I don't have to date them! It probably just means I'm scared of getting hurt. My best friend goes from one relationship to the next and always has someone new lined up, like she's scared of being single. I know it's nothing to do with me but I find that strange! At least I'm independent! Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 you have had a full on relationship before right? Yeah I've had 3 serious boyfriends. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Are you recently out of a relationship? It's great to be comfortable being single and not desperate for another relationship. You have a healthy mindset with that. Yes, there will always be creepy men hitting on you, always, lol. But, for the well-meaning ones, you should be honest but tactful. However, I am not a fan of the "be friends first" method of dating. I think that creates problems itself. I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago. I think being friends with a guy first would be better as long as it doesn't just fall into the 'friend zone'. Link to comment
NightLily Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Again, I'm in a very similar situation. I also have had 3 serious boyfriends and ended the last relationship in late August. Did it start to feel suffocating if your last or previous relationships? Link to comment
Tethys Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago. I think being friends with a guy first would be better as long as it doesn't just fall into the 'friend zone'. I don't like the "friends first" method as it can end with someone getting hurt if feelings develop. I think it is better to be upfront with intentions and date first, and if there are no sparks on one side or the other, make motions to turn things into friends instead. After too many "nebulous" friendships, I like to know intentions and that goes for me too. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Again, I'm in a very similar situation. I also have had 3 serious boyfriends and ended the last relationship in late August. Did it start to feel suffocating if your last or previous relationships? No I was happy in the relationship, he ended it because he "didn't feel the same" anymore. Plus he's moving away and it wouldn't have worked out, although I would have been willing to at least try! I haven't really ever felt suffocated to be honest. The longest relationship I've had was 3 years. But I was in a relationship for 3 months and loved that guy more than the one of 3 years! So it's not that I'm afraid of commitment. I just think I'm not gonna get the things in a guy I want and I don't want to settle because I can't get the type of man I want! Hard to explain and it's so annoying lol. Link to comment
NightLily Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I see. So it sounds like you would be open to a relationship.. just not with a guy that you don't want. Perfectly normal. My last boyfriend was overly controlling. I didn't see any of my friends for 3 months at the end of our nearly 2 year relationship. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 I see. So it sounds like you would be open to a relationship.. just not with a guy that you don't want. Perfectly normal. My last boyfriend was overly controlling. I didn't see any of my friends for 3 months at the end of our nearly 2 year relationship. I would never stand for that! Glad you got out of that one. I don't know what I want am very confused lol! Link to comment
philove Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Nothing wrong with being picky! I'm the same I will never settle for anything less than I can get Link to comment
ladybella Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 i feel the same way , guess you could say im sorta picky too. there is no shame in waiting to find the right guy . to be friends and then be together. i think its smart. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 being picky shows you have character and know what you want. never settle. i'm pretty picky. my friends tell me all the time. i already know that though. Link to comment
mechie22 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 BAH! Sooooo not picky your just not going to settle, and I think thats the best thing you can do for yourself. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Also in relationships I feel I can never be myself like I have to hold something back. I mean I have a big personality and I usually end with quiet guys so I feel I have to hold myself back in case they don't like the real me. And I think I some times sabotage myself on purpose... Link to comment
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