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you start to let go of hope that he/she will come back?

 

you start to loose the urge to call/text/email/otherwise get in contact with him/her?

 

you stop analysing what he/she said/did and what it could mean in terms of his/her feelings/intentions/etc.?

 

you start to focus on what the relationship has to teach you and on your motivations for your own behavior throughout?

 

I think the answer to the above is yes and I think I'm on my way... and I'd love to hear your thoughts and your own experiences with healing.

 

take care everybody

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Good to hear your on your way, this is the end of the beginning for you.

 

As for me, never really had a bad break up, the relationships I've been in both of us have sat down, tlalked and realised it had come to the end of it. I've remained on good terms with my ex, so that has helped.

 

So, I've never had the urge, at least not for long, to call, write or hope against hope with those that have went out of my life. I've always wanted them to be happy. Best way.

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Healing starts when...

- pass enough time

- and you wake up one morning and realize that you do not think about ex

- and the next morning is the same

- when you realize that you made some mistakes and accept it

- when you accept that the ex, too, made mistakes but...

- you just do not care anymore

- and you are happy with yourself, without ex to make you feel happy

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Healing starts when...

- pass enough time

- and you wake up one morning and realize that you do not think about ex

- and the next morning is the same

- when you realize that you made some mistakes and accept it

- when you accept that the ex, too, made mistakes but...

- you just do not care anymore

- and you are happy with yourself, without ex to make you feel happy

 

Yeah, I'd go along with that.

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Healing starts when you accept that it is really over, and make a conscious decision to leave any bitterness behind and stop clinging to the idea you will get back together, or to the idea that the other person is the only one for you or essential to your happiness.

 

You can heal even if you still have feelings for the ex, but you have to reach a level of acceptance and make peace with the fact that you need to plan your life as if the other person won't be in it in order to move on.

 

You begin heal when you take the ex out of the center of your world, and place your own self and needs at the center. You recognize you still may want/love the person, but also that it may never happen so you've got to start moving on to heal. You don't have to destroy the feelings for your ex, but put them on the shelf and close the door on them and focus on other things.

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The other thing that starts the healing is when you decide to not indulge constant thoughts about the ex... practice thought stopping and only allow yourself to dwell on or think about the person for limited amounts of time during the day... otherwise it is like picking a scab and you can't heal if you obsess about them or the relationship randomly and constantly.

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You can heal even if you still have feelings for the ex, but you have to reach a level of acceptance and make peace with the fact that you need to plan your life as if the other person won't be in it in order to move on.

 

I agree with this.

You can still have feeling for your ex, and continue to heal.

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I agree with this.

You can still have feeling for your ex, and continue to heal.

 

Of course, after all you've shared together you can't just switch it all off after you no longer together. I wish me ex-wife all the best in the world and I'm glad she's happy. We still remain good friends I kinda think that is what we should have been in the 1st place.

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