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How to make friends?


Lusif

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At school, I was incredibly shy and negative. I somehow made friends, though. Then I started college and became a lot more confident - and started seeing guys, and going out for the first time. I also became a lot more aware of my thought patterns and processes, my first impressions, etc.

 

I'm 20 and at university now, and I don't know where I've gone wrong. I'm more outgoing and happy - people refuse to believe that I was ever shy. I'm really close to the people I live with, in fact one of them is my boyfriend. But they're my only friends here. I have quite a few acquaintances - we get on well, and act like friends if we see each other out sometime; but that's all.

 

I always take up invitations from my housemates, to give myself the opportunity to meet new people - and I always get on well with the people I meet, but not well enough; I never fully click with them, phone numbers are never exchanged... it really gets me down. My boyfriend seems to click with everyone, and I feel like such a social pariah next to him; I'm scared he'll get bored of going out with such a loser, even though he's said he loves me.

 

My friends back home are amazing, they're my best friends, but I live halfways accross the country to them and don't see them so much

 

I honestly don't understand where I'm going wrong. I'm a bit crazy in a (hopefully) fun way, but other than that I'm relatively normal and don't see what's wrong with me.

 

I'm also worried that this will hinder my career in the future.

 

Seriously, anyone got any tips on how to connect?

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Smile and be nice is all i can say . You seem to place alot of importance in friends.. Be happy with yourself first and not insecure because others arent being your friend.. You dont need their validation to boost your self esteem. Once you relax in yourself more people will become your friend and be atttacted to you

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I am happy in my own company, to some extent. But I see other people with their friends and feel like a bit of a loser; also my boyfriend often invites me to go out and stuff with some of his friends - I just wish I could do the same for him! In a way, I'm scared it makes me less attractive to him, though I guess the only thing that makes me less attractive is the insecurity I have about it.

 

Also, I really want to do more with my life - do more, see more - but I get intimidated pretty easily when I'm on my own, whereas with others I feel a lot more confident, so I'd be more willing to try new stuff.

 

I am so paranoid about people not liking me - even my boyfriend's picked up on it, and tells me everyone likes me and I need to stop thinking the way I do.

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I think your boyfriend is pretty right.It doesnt matter what friends others have .What matters is that you are happy in yourself . Being insecure is not making you look any friendlier or making your boyfriend love you any more. Just enjoy being who you are..thats all that really matters. Do that and your self esteem should rise as well

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