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guy asking a girl to pay for drinks - ok or a no no?


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Say a girl and a guy have been hanging out a couple of times (dating I mean, not in a just friends situation) and he usually paid for everything.

 

But the guy made a couple remarks about him always paying and finally asked if a girl will pay for drinks this time - is that weird and kind of inappropriate or am I a spoiled brat?

 

It happened to me twice - both guys were well situated: one was a lawyer, the recent one - a doctor, and I - for the record- am a student who doesn't work.

 

It's not like I'm expecting them to spend money on me, and in both cases they never really did (meaning no movies, no dinners - nothing more than a couple drinks). So is it old fashioned to expect that if a guy is asking me out he is going to pay for me?

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I will normally pay the first few times. I will take notice tho if a girl never offers. I prefer to be with someone who will offer once in a while. Keep in mind, these guy are in well paid professions and they may be more cautious of "gold diggers."

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why can't you buy your own drinks? that way he pays for himself, and you pay for yourself. And like you said, you don't expect them to spend money on you, so do the easy thing and have your own tab.

 

although to be honest, your question and reasoning are a bit circular. If they're going to get to know you better, they'll have to ask you out - which means you're expecting them to pay for you. Which kind of contradicts what you said about them not spending money on you.

 

the whole thing seems nit-picky though. it's just a couple drinks, it can't be that expensive. And out of curiosity, at what point were you going to feel comfortable paying for anything?

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ok, makes sense that if they want to get to know me they have to ask me out and that implicates spending money... and that's kind of not fair, I get that

 

usually after a while in a relationship I'd pay for dinner or drinks once in a while

I actually don't know what's right here - even if you're a couple

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I will normally pay the first few times. I will take notice tho if a girl never offers. I prefer to be with someone who will offer once in a while. Keep in mind, these guy are in well paid professions and they may be more cautious of "gold diggers."

 

yeah, i agree. most of the time, i will reach for my wallet, and the guy will stop me. clearly, these guys have money, and they know you probably don't, so they should pay. it is the same thing if i am hanging out with a friend who lost their job or makes less than me, i pick up the tab. i agree that these guys are afraid of gold diggers. i think as long as you try to pay, they will be happy and won't let you. now, if he always goes dutch with you, then that's something to worry about!

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yeah, i agree. most of the time, i will reach for my wallet, and the guy will stop me. clearly, these guys have money, and they know you probably don't, so they should pay. it is the same thing if i am hanging out with a friend who lost their job or makes less than me, i pick up the tab. i agree that these guys are afraid of gold diggers. i think as long as you try to pay, they will be happy and won't let you. now, if he always goes dutch with you, then that's something to worry about!

 

I completely agree... I do this with my girlfriends too... If one of us is hurting for cash, the other will pick up the tab and then hit the other back later.

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When you are in the courting stage or very early on in a relationship then it's proper for the guy to pay. If the girl offers to pay at this point then she's a really cool girl in my book, but I have yet to meet a girl who would do that.

 

Once it becomes established that you are an item then the finances should be share and share alike, just like in every other aspect of the relationship.

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I think it's rude.

 

During courtship, the man should be pursuing, and in so doing, I expect him to plan dates that he can afford.

 

If we are an exclusive, commited couple, then certainly I do contribute financially to dates without a problem.

 

BUT, if it is earlier than this, like I said above, then he's a cheap ass.

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because you said he has to pay for everything before you become exclusive, then you kick in some. where you going taco bell?

 

Never been to one. Is that where classy guys like you take your "dates"? Probably why I'm not acquainted, sorry...

 

Yes, he has to pay for the dates he invites me on and plans for. That could be for an ice cream, or a walk in the park with a soda. You're the one who seems to assume all dates have to be costly. But, guys with a true sense of romance and creativity know better!

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I always offer to pay, and if the guy insists I let them pay, but this is usually only the first few times we go out. Then I pay for my half or we just split the check. I have never paid for everything, except when I was in a relationship, then we'd usually take turns paying the bill.

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Never been to one. Is that where classy guys like you take your "dates"? Probably why I'm not acquainted, sorry...

Yes, he has to pay for the dates he invites me on and plans for. That could be for an ice cream, or a walk in the park with a soda. You're the one who seems to assume all dates have to be costly. But, guys with a true sense of romance and creativity know better!

 

Don't you feel like being "bought" though? That's why I always go 50/50.

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I will normally pay the first few times. I will take notice tho if a girl never offers. I prefer to be with someone who will offer once in a while. Keep in mind, these guy are in well paid professions and they may be more cautious of "gold diggers."

 

I agree with this. I dont mind paying for the majority of things but even if the woman doesnt have much money, atleast offering shows courtesy. If i start to notice that im paying for everything i figure this girl is one of those typical women out there knowing she can get a man to pay for everything. I hate those types

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I must say I stopped grabbing for my wallet as I got used to guys protesting.

Then there was this thought in my head that if he sees me willing to pay I look like I don't think I'm worth time he's spending with me... sort of like reverse princess theory.

 

My roomate is a waitress and she's always complaining about couples splitting checks, she sees couples sitting there soooo in love and then the check is $14 and they give her 2 cards. I mean: can't you just let the $7 slide for your beloved one, please.

 

Oh and another thing: if he invites me to a place where I normally wouldn't be able to afford to go, well sorry to put it this way but can I risk loosing my weekly allowance in case he won't stop me paying?!

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If I invited her then I would pick up the tab. If she invited me then I would not expect to pick up the entire tab although it wouldn't bother me even if I did. I would still pay at least half no matter what. Initially it is usually the guy asking for the date so he invited her so he should pay. If i couldn't afford to go on the date then i would have declined in the first place and recheduled for a later date.

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