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changing feelings..


_ash_
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting

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so ive always been the girl that when guys break up with they say "i dont love you in the same ways anymore"

 

this seems to ALWAYS happen...

 

is this a problem with me? or is it the guys im dating..

 

i seem to find a pattern that points to me

 

any suggestions?

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Hey there,

 

I'm sorry to hear this is a common theme in your relationships. Unfortunately for many people, when the honeymoon stage is over in a relationship they get cold feet and aren't committed to a long-term relationship. This may be what your past boyfriends are really saying. However, how old are you?

 

Younger guys tend to start relationships for the wrong reasons and they may be re-evaluating their interests or desires, effectively leaving you cold and in the dark. Or perhaps, both you and them acted one way when you started dating, and then got into a 'routine' or 'predictable' schedule that started becoming bland and old pretty fast.

 

A number of issues can result in a guy saying what they have said to you. Personality traits can also be the triggers - things like clingyness, obsessiveness, jealousy, etc. And heck, they may have even found someone else who they think the pasture may be greener with. At the end of the day though (and I know it stinks, stay strong though!), they're at least being honest with you, which according to ENA threads, 90% of people can't seem to be with their significant other. Try and chalk these guys up as learning experiences so your future relationships have more chances to succeed.

 

Good luck!

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well im 19

 

and yea i have to admit the past guys have been just looking at the short term but the last one really hooked me in with his talk about the future...but ohwell im guessing everyone goes through this at some point or another right?

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i think that the 'spark' is gone - that special feeling they had about you when they were still getting to know you and things were light and mysterious. then, things got more 'relationshippy' you got to know each other better, and he just didn't feel that 'newness' anymore.

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well im 19

 

and yea i have to admit the past guys have been just looking at the short term but the last one really hooked me in with his talk about the future...but ohwell im guessing everyone goes through this at some point or another right?

 

 

Hey Ash,

 

Trust me when I say a lot of guys talk about the future because they know thats what you're most likely wanting to hear. I'm not trying to say all guys don't have this ideal in their mind - but its very common to have someone say it without putting the wheels in motion to actually make it happen. I would guess and say thats what your most recent fellow did.

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that's true too!!! some guys will say things that they think might get you into bed. like talking about your future plans, the lake you will visit in the summer, how you will meet his parents next holidays, how he would love to buy a big house and live with you in whatever town. yeah, some guys will do that if they think it might lead to the bedroom!

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