2900 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 my boyfriend and i have fallen into a make it or break it point in our relationship. he has a major life change to deal with. we talked and decided to tough it out, but to just date exclusively w/out title for until we both adjust to the changes. to me, title doesn't make a difference. bottom line, i love him. right now, i am very confused. im not sure if i should stick around. it will be very hard for me. right now, im feeling very insecure. and i think i will be insecure for a long time. i want to stick around. but i feel like maybe its not the best choice. i just don't know... Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Whos Idea was it to 'just date exclusivley' but not have the title. In my experience when someone starts saying stuff like that they are pulling away slowly, he might be gently breaking himself into being without you. On the other hand if your happy with it and you believe it can work just stay strong, keep busy and keep positive. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 What is this major life change? Relationships should be able to continue on as usual even during changes. Dating "exclusively" without the title basically means he has your companionship and sex without having to commit to you in any real way. It is moving backwards. A supportive partnership does not go backwards like that. Imagine a married couple...one is going through a stressful time and says to the other one "I don't want the married title anymore...I want your support and companionship and you in my bed..but I think I am going to take the ring off and consider myself not married anymore until I figure out what is going on with this stressful time." How do you think that would fly? I think you are selling yourself short by agreeing to be there for him while being told you no longer have the official title of girlfriend. Link to comment
2900 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 hes the one who wanted to drop the title. and he was honest with why. he said if we didn't have a title it would hurt him less if i cheated on him or left him for someone else. the situation is that the mother of his child has dumped his two sons on him. so they live w/him now. on top of work and school he also has to be F/T dad. which means less time and attention for me. thats why im not sure if i want to stick around. it will be very difficult to not see him so often. to always be second. to have plans with him, and have him be late because the baby sitter is late, or have to cancel because he couldn't find a sitter or because one of the boys is sick. its only been a week and i had already experienced it twice. gosh i don't know. i am very confused. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I looked at your other threads and quite honestly I think this relationship is very unhealthy. He cheated on you a year ago or so with the children's mother, she is constantly calling him trying to get back with him, he is secretive, you have resorted to spying on him and invading his privacy and now this. I think it is time to call this relationship a day...never mind title or no title...this is just an unhealthy dynamic. Link to comment
spinstermanquee Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 hes the one who wanted to drop the title. and he was honest with why. he said if we didn't have a title it would hurt him less if i cheated on him or left him for someone else. He is setting you up. With this bass-ackwards crazy logic, it sounds like he wants you to so he can have an excuse to dump you. Link to comment
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