luvs2kayak Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi, everyone! I am happy to report that we got married this past Saturday after six years of working to be together in this way. So we are ecstatic! Now I am facing the decision about whether or not to hyphenate my last name with his (for ex., Susan Smith-Jones), or to just keep my maiden name as a middle name instead (so it would be, for ex., Susan Smith Jones). I do want to include his name in some way. But-- we work at the same place, and it would be confusing if we have identical last names, since many of the lists have only last names on them. I am not crazy at all about hyphenated names; however, I am thinking that if I do not use a hyphen, my true last name will be his last name, instead of the two names together, so when those listings come out, an identical last name will appear for both of us. Anyway, has anyone else ever had this question? We will not be having children together, so that is not an issue... Thanks! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'd have the hyphenated name personally. I think thats fairest. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I hypenated and I am happy with my decision. Link to comment
DN Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 My daughter solved this by keeping her rmaiden name at work and using her husband's name for other purposes. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 My daughter solved this by keeping her rmaiden name at work and using her husband's name for other purposes. That's what I do- I legally hyphenated my name- but I mainly use my maiden name when I am at work. When I send out holiday cards to family, friends, and relatives, I use the traditional "Mr. and Mrs. _____________" Link to comment
luvs2kayak Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 DN, How do you do that in terms of the paperwork? I know I will need to start by filing something at the Social Security Office. Then I would need to change my credit cards, driver's license, etc. etc. I would love to use my maiden name at work and my husband's name for other purposes, but I don't know how to set it up that way. If I officially change my name, won't it be impossible to use my maiden name at work? Link to comment
luvs2kayak Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Bella Donna, Didn't you have to file your hyphenated name w/ your human resources department at work? If so, how would they use only your maiden name on your W2's and other paperwork? Link to comment
DN Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 DN, How do you do that in terms of the paperwork? I know I will need to start by filing something at the Social Security Office. Then I would need to change my credit cards, driver's license, etc. etc. I would love to use my maiden name at work and my husband's name for other purposes, but I don't know how to set it up that way. If I officially change my name, won't it be impossible to use my maiden name at work?Well, tell HR or payroll to use your 'legal' name for pay, social security etc. but that you want to be referred to by your maiden name for all other purposes. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Bella Donna, Didn't you have to file your hyphenated name w/ your human resources department at work? If so, how would they use only your maiden name on your W2's and other paperwork? Yes- but on my business card, and work e-mail, I am only referred to by my maiden name. I work with college students so it is easier for them to refer to me by my maiden name only. I also built my career with my maiden name, and that is what I am "known" by in my state- so I didn't want to change that and get people confused. Link to comment
equinox Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'd take his name. I'm not a woman but I imagine that it makes things simpler just having one name. Link to comment
Circe Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 My daughter solved this by keeping her rmaiden name at work and using her husband's name for other purposes. That's what I'm doing.. I think hyphenation can be nice but its kind of strange too - your kids wont have the option of hyphenating if you do.. its one of those things that can only be done once in the chain. Plus its like having an entirely new name instead of keeping yours or taking his.. Link to comment
spinstermanquee Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I tried to hyphenate in first year but his foreign name was just too difficult for many North American folks, so I went back to maiden name. It didn't bother him at all, if he had taken a stand on it I wouldn't have gone back. He even smiles when people call him "Mr. Smith!" Link to comment
SayWhen Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 When I get married, I will take the man's last name simply because I HATE mine. However, under your circumstances I would probably hyphenate. It is a good compromise between taking his name and keeping yours. Link to comment
journeynow Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 We both hyphenated ours when we got married, back in the 70s. But eventually my husband wanted to drop the hyphen because he was self-employed and always had to spell his name for customers, it was pretty long, and he was tired of that, and of explaining. (It was pretty unusual back then in our rural area.) We had 2 kids by then, and I very much wanted us all to have the same last name, so we all dropped the hyphen, all of us keeping my maiden name as our middle names and his maiden name became our last name. Link to comment
steelcitymstro Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 If you say you're not crazy about the hyphenated name, then I wouldn't let work be a reason for doing it. It may be confusing at work at first, but they'll have to get over it if that's what you want to do! Ask yourself if it will bother you one way or another 20 years from now...that might help with your decision. Congrats by the way! Link to comment
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