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when they want to become your friend after break up


dturner

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Well I think it depends on the break-up, and the people involved. When I'm the one ending a relationship, it's usually one of relatively short duration and I'm ending it because I've discovered that we aren't well-suited as lovers/partners. But I wouldn't have gotten involved at all if I didn't find plenty that was worthwhile in them, so it seems a pity to sever the connection entirely.

 

But post-break up friendship is only possible if both parties want it and are ready for it. If someone is trying to foist that connection onto you and it's not something you want or are ready for, you're not obliged to indulge them.

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If you got along well romance aside, why cut out a good friend out of your life?

 

My bf of 4 years just broke up with me and even though I am miserable and hurt, I do want him in my life. Not right now ofcourse, but in a while when we're both ok.

 

We were friends before we got together and I'd like to have a friend back.

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so.

i've got an incredibly useful post for you to read.

 

two steps to find your answer:

 

1. search for reverse psychology and the rebound relationship. or search zorba on the forum search function. or google rebound relationships and women. the thread's title is "reverse psychology and the rebound realtionship"

 

2. read zorba's post on that forum, in addition to the first post (which is alright, but not as good as zorbas. it provides context)

 

You must read, because it will provide you will all the info you will need to understand why chicks do this, and if you want, how you can use it to your advantage.

 

you will find your answer. and it will be good.

 

giggidy out. 8)

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Another important point to consider is how long it's been since the breakup.

 

If the breakup was recent, and one partner didn't want to break up, then a healthy friendship will be tricky. If that's the case, the best thing to do is to try to keep things amicable, but light. LC or NC might be necessary in some cases.

 

However, if two ex-partners have had time to heal, and have completely accepted the break-up, then being able to enjoy a friendship with each other is a wonderful thing.

 

And like Jillybean86 has pointed out, the reason for the breakup should be considered, as well.

If somebody has cheated on you, or done something horrible that you would NEVER, under any circumstances, do to (or accept from) a friend, then clearly you'll have to give serious consideration as to whether you'll actually want to be friends down the line, anyway.

You can look at the way they interact with their other friends to gauge: If it becomes apparent that a person is crappy to their friends (a user, for example), then you can't expect them to be a real friend to you, either.

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Why Do Guys Stay in Touch With Ex-g...
Why Do Guys Stay in Touch With Ex-girlfriends?

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