ckm_73 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi, I've been in NC for 4 months with my ex fiance. Then on my B-Day Saturday she sends me a "Happy Birthday" text message. I was totally not expecting to hear from her, so it pretty much made my day. I replied back "Hey Thank You and that was it. Does anyone have any opinions on this. I guess she was at least thinking of me and cared enough to wish me a happy bday. I wonder if I should take this opportunity to make further contact or just let it go and see what happens. Link to comment
sosilver Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 You should let it go if you want to hear from her again. It also depends on why you broke up. From your post I can assume you want her back, but do you think she does? Either way, I would play it safe and not make any further contact, you already replied, so she knows you wont ignore her if she texts again. So leave it at that, because it will make you feel worse if you initiate contact and never hear from her. Link to comment
TheFlash Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I feel like that just shows shes thinking about you still. It would probably make you feel better just knowing she still cares about you, but do you really want to take the risk of texting her more and having her not respond or tell you shes fine, or dating someone? Then you have to deal with your feelings of regret. just be careful and be prepared to not get what you expect out of it. I had an ex do that to me, she was an ex of 1 year that i hadnt talked to in 2 years randomly texted me happy birthday and we talked a little, but it was really just cause she was thinking of me and being nice, no because she wanted to get back together Link to comment
TomboyMS Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi, I've been in NC for 4 months with my ex fiance. Then on my B-Day Saturday she sends me a "Happy Birthday" text message. I was totally not expecting to hear from her, so it pretty much made my day. I replied back "Hey Thank You and that was it. Does anyone have any opinions on this. I guess she was at least thinking of me and cared enough to wish me a happy bday. I wonder if I should take this opportunity to make further contact or just let it go and see what happens. I would wait a few days to see if she makes further contact. Don't get your hopes up too much. You don't want to get back into that needy and desperate mode. That will run her off for sure. Good luck. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi, I've been in NC for 4 months with my ex fiance. Then on my B-Day Saturday she sends me a "Happy Birthday" text message. I was totally not expecting to hear from her, so it pretty much made my day. I replied back "Hey Thank You and that was it. Does anyone have any opinions on this. I guess she was at least thinking of me and cared enough to wish me a happy bday. I wonder if I should take this opportunity to make further contact or just let it go and see what happens. who broke it off? I wouldn't read too much into it, your birthday is the day you were born and anyone who cares about you will want to send you wishes on that day, but it doesn' tmean they want to get back with you. I think your answer was good and I'd wait for another move if she was the one to break it up in the first place. Link to comment
ckm_73 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks for the replies. She was the one who broke it off. We were together almost 3 years. She said she felt like she was giving everything to the relationship and I was not.. so she was exhausted and unhappy. Yes. I do want her back. I feel like the breakup was rather abrupt. I recognize that she felt she needed a break. I understand that and don't blame her for that. But, I also feel that for the most part we had a great relationship and there may still be a future for us. Of course I don't really know for sure how she feels since I haven't had contact with her and she lives 1.5 hours away. But I do know her, and I feel like she would be up for starting over with me... but I just don't know when. That's the million dollar question. If I contact her too soon I could push her away. Too late and she would have moved on. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I think the problem is we try to control the outcome. I don't think it works. I am at this point very confused about the whole meaning of the breaking up experience... Wishing you happiness. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Unless two people are on immediate very bad terms I think her sending you a happy birthday text would be expected. Being honest I dont think she did that as a means of trying to get back with you in any way but out of common courtesy, just as she would send a text to a distant friend to be nice. Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I think you're better off taking the text for what it's worth - just a simple Happy Birthday text. It's easy for your mind to play tricks on you and turn something as simple as a 'happy birthday' into a 'let's get back together' suggestion. If she ended the relationship, and you've heard nothing for 4 months, and you got no further contact after thanking her for the birthday greetings, I don't think that's a good sign to ask her to start things again. Link to comment
littleladyluck Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hi, I've been in NC for 4 months with my ex fiance. Then on my B-Day Saturday she sends me a "Happy Birthday" text message. I was totally not expecting to hear from her, so it pretty much made my day. I replied back "Hey Thank You and that was it. Does anyone have any opinions on this. I guess she was at least thinking of me and cared enough to wish me a happy bday. I wonder if I should take this opportunity to make further contact or just let it go and see what happens. It sounds like she is being nice. It's really not that hard to text 'Happy Birthday' Link to comment
ckm_73 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 My question is why would she bother to send anything just be nice. I don't send any sort of birthday wishes to any of my other exes and I don't think she has either. What is so nice about receiving a B-day wish from my ex who I'm still in love with... if there is no underlying feelings whatsoever. I think she is smart enough to know that. She know's I still love her, and I would think she would realize that any benign communication from her just hurts. Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I think she felt it would have been hurtful to ignore your birthday? I think it was just a nice gesture on her part, nothing more, nothing less. I think it wasn't meant to hurt you, just as much as I think it wasn't meant to be anything like a suggestion to start dating again. It's just a birthday well-wish, and I know it's easy to overanalyze it (god knows I did), but if it hurts you to think about it, delete the text, and try to keep it out of your head. Link to comment
sad_panda Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 She can still care about you but that doesn't mean that she's still in love with you. My ex sent me text message greeting on my birthday, but still he is happy in the arms of another girl. I didn't text him on his birthday which came two weeks after mine. What for? Let it go. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 It sounds like she is being nice. It's really not that hard to text 'Happy Birthday' You would think so, but my ex didn't bother sending me such a text on Saturday when it was also my birthday. What makes it worse is that I know that she had remembered what day it was as she told a mutual friend of mine, so I know she was thinking about me. A 'Happy Birthday' would have been a lovely gesture after over a month NC and I would have just taken it as her being nice, not opening the door for anything else as she has moved on. Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Im in a similar situation. I got a text from me ex on my birthday aswell saying my card was in the post. I received it a couple of days later and it said I love you always and miss you. Does anyone know if this is different from the present situation? I sent him a text saying thanks for the card but heard nothing back after. Over a week ago now. Thoughts Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 well if he's saying i love you and miss you, that's a bit different. you may want to call him and speak to him directly - unless he has a history of throwing strong terms like those around carelessly, then i wouldn't bother. Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 what should I say to him if I call him?? If he really wanted me back should he not do all the work? ie shoudl I not wait for him to call me? Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 try asking him if there's interest in starting over? he already sucked it up and said he missed you and loves you. He actually bought a card, wrote that, and mailed it. I imagine myself in his shoes, sending it off, waiting for a reply, and getting a text that said: Thanks. If I'm interested in starting over again, is that the reply I'm hoping to get? No. Part of me is confused why you'd make it HARDER for him to get back together when that's what you want as well. I'm not saying just throw caution to the wind and rush back into his arms. But small encouragements help. Like actually starting a dialogue. Stone-walling his efforts doesn't make him want you more. It just convinces him that there's nothing left to salvage, makes him think that you've moved on, and convinces him that he should do the same. Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I'm just terrified of the rejection, the having to start over at square one again when he says that he still wants to be single and that he wants to meet loads of people before he settles down, but that he still loves me and always will. Im so confused, I dunno what to do. Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 plus I know for a fact that he has been with numerous girls in the past six months we have been apart.... Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Could anyone give me some advice on what to say to him? Bear in mind that a few weeks ago I told him to never contact me again and let me move on. HELP!! Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 well since you gave that other info, then no, i think that message was just meant to keep you on the backburner while he's still checking out the grass on the other side. you should let him go and meet new people. Link to comment
princess5 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Ok my finger is on the send button to text my ex, please someone offer me some last minute advice....im just asking him what he meant by "i will love you always and miss you" help!! Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 well if he's saying i love you and miss you, that's a bit different. you may want to call him and speak to him directly - unless he has a history of throwing strong terms like those around carelessly, then i wouldn't bother. Yeah I definitely agree with this, kind of controversial if hes saying he loves you always and misses you, if you don't contact him, you'll probably keep saying "should've" continuously... Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Ok my finger is on the send button to text my ex, please someone offer me some last minute advice....im just asking him what he meant by "i will love you always and miss you" help!! I guess thats fine...I think texting is pretty informal and you should talk, but I'm more old fashioned when it comes to SERIOUS matters. But if you guys always text then go for it. Make sure thats all you're saying and asking him in your initial text if you decide to send it. If it was me, I'd say thanks again, could we talk sometime? but we're all different. good luck Link to comment
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