to let go or fight for it.

[mommah0216]

okay.. this is my story. my boyfriend and i have been going together for almost 7 years already. during our 4th year, i got pregnant and though he offered marriage, i refused wanting to prove to myself that he wants me for myself not just because...(mind you those 4 years have been very rocky) well, we stood it out and went through phases for 2 years. I grew fat coz my body never really recovered from childbirth.

 

Then, 3 weeks ago, he got accepted in modelling and despite my objections to it (the modelling world is such a mess) he still went ahead and did it. I even got to the point where i made him choose..and he chose modelling! he told me his feelings got cold already and he wants time to think..what should i do?

 

Do you think i should fight for him or not wait for him? is he worth it? coz evidently i know where i stand in his life right now..i just want to start a family now and it seems he is the one ready for the commitment..please help me...i dont know how i can pick up my life after this, I'm with my son, struggling and it is hard letting the love of your life go...thanks...i know you guys can help me.

[idontakre6203]

Quite a predicament you have here. Try as I might, I have no perfect answers. But aside from that... Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this man? Obviously his career is more important than you, but you could have been a bit more leniant and supportive of his decision. I would give him time, yourself time, and just let life take its course. You definetely made a mistake by not accepting the marriage idea, were you harsh about it? Was it a complete and total no, cause I sure hope you gave some reason to why not? Well don't let this get to you too bad, it doesn't seem like it is or else you wouldn't be asking for advice, you would either drop it entirely or fight for him, which i think you should do. Don't give up, it's never too late, but the choice is yours, follow your heart and your brain at the same time... I wish you the best of luck, hope everything turns out good!

[minndawg]

I personally think that you should fight for it. Support him in the decisions he makes. If I put myself in your man's place, I'd take that ultimatum offensively and jump at the chance to say that I'm not owned, I'm my own person as well.

 

Like idontakre6203 said, follow your heart and your brain at the same time. Talk to him. Maybe he didn't mean to get the point accross that he was definitely choosing his career over you. Maybe he was, in an odd way, trying to get HIS point accross as well. Because that's what I probably would have jumped to, even though it's wrong to try to get a point accross like that.

 

And yeah, about the marriage, were you harsh about it? Because if you were or gave no reason, I could understand how the guy's feelings might have turned cold. Then an ultimatum on top of that, I would have acted exactly the same as he did. Even though I agree with you about modeling.

 

Anyways... I hope you fight for it and have a heart to heart. Good luck with everything though!