cuillini Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Okay, So heres the deal 27 year old male with 1 2 year relationship under my belt. I am still in touch with my ex and we are on good terms. I am a little over weight about 5'8" 210, Slightly muscular build. I am intelligent finishing up grad school will be a professional and earn a good living. I am sociable, and I like to think generally witty and funny. I do not put myself down in public and have a happy attitude most of the time. However, I know I am not attractive. I had bad acne as a kid and have some now and have some acne scarring on my face. I have a big nose crooked skull, and the opposite of a square jaw. Most of the time it doesn't bother me as I don't date a lot right now because i am busy with work. Sometimes it does bother me to the point of not letting anybody take my picture and I try to avoid mirrors as much as possible. Met this amazing woman a couple of weeks ago. She is pretty but not out of this world. We got to know each other and i loved her personality. Week by week I became more and more attracted to her. She offered to hang out and study a couple of times but me, playing cool declined. Then finally I asked to have breakfast with me at an amazing place i know and she agreed. Now I am not delusional and had very little hope she would be interested in me romantically but, I held out hope. We had a good time but, during the conversation came out the dreaded "good guy" routine. Also she made it very clear she thinks of me as a friend and nothing more. She even went on to say that she would think I would make a good BF for someone else. Now like i said I knew this was probably the case so I was disappointed but not too much. However, what saddens me is that I can't help feeling I am loosing out on dating an amazing woman because of my looks or lack there of. Obviously there could be other factors involved and I don't discount them. Its just that I can't help feeling whenever i get rejected by a women it has to do with looks. I would feel much better if I knew there was some other reason, some thing that I could work on. I am trying to improve as much as I can, I started taking antibiotics for acne and am dieting for weight. I would get a nose job but, I don't have the money. I also try to dress well and wear good shoes. However in the mean time for my own sanity I need something to hold on to. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated thanks Link to comment
ThunderSky95 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I don't mean to get all religious on you or anything, but if you do believe, God has created you in the exact way you are meant to be. Someone will come along for you. I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Just look around you. There are plenty of "ugly" people that have found happiness! I think you are also probably being a little hard on yourself, we all tend to be our own worst critics... Don't feel bad, I consider myself to be very attractive, I'm in excellent shape, work out all the time, I'm confident and social, and I still can't get a date I'm chalking it up to 'it must not be the right time now'. Hang in there man! Link to comment
Will D Ness Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 ... Don't feel bad, I consider myself to be very attractive, I'm in excellent shape, work out all the time, I'm confident and social, and I still can't get a date I'm chalking it up to 'it must not be the right time now'. Hang in there man! Actually, Thunder, it's your profile picture... LOL. Kidding. Link to comment
ThunderSky95 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Actually, Thunder, it's your profile picture... LOL. Kidding. hehe... Maybe its cuz I still play with toys! Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 cuillini, Don't put yourself down, that is the most important thing to remember. We all have things that we hate about ourselves, even the most beautiful person ever. Its funny but that saying that says "we are never truly happy with the way God has us" is very true. Just like thundersky said, I have know people who have been amazingly beautiful and they still can't get a date, and they think that they are ugly because they can't seem to be with someone. I have also know people who have dated a lot and they never have a fulfilling relationship because the people they date are only with them for their looks. Don't determine your self-worth based on what other people believe. Remember that if you can't love yourself (fat, skinny, ugly, short, ) how can you expect someone to love you completely for who you are? You have a lot going for yourself from what you stated. Plus, why would you want to be with someone who notices only superficial beauty? Try to be happy with the way that God made you... Link to comment
Radίaηce Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I don't mean to get all religious on you or anything, but if you do believe, God has created you in the exact way you are meant to be. I agree, i think G-d makes us the way we are supposed to be, but i don't think he's against improving yourself. If you want to help your appearance, by all means...DO IT! Clearer skin, a healthier body, a restructured face (be careful! once u do it there is no going back!)...if all these things make YOU feel better about YOU then go for it. Outter beauty can actually boost your inner confidence too, but remember it's not all about your exterior. Link to comment
Orlander Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Just imagine if you believed yourself to be the most attractive person in the world. What would that do for you? Here are some answers: You would constantly and WITHOUT deviation believe you are attractive You would do things that you enjoyed and approach women you found stimulating and/or attractive without pause or reserve. Any rejection to any advance you received would be interrupted as the woman having an issue, or taken or busy or stupid or insane or...whatever. You would move on quickly. Perception is SO MUCH to do with attractiveness. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder and all of that... ...I always say "be what/who you want to attract". If you are interested in dating someone attractive, successful, active, kind, sincere, passionate, etc...then BE those qualities. If you desire attractiveness (in appearance), then work out, get surgery, work on your smile, your dress, your attitude and your PERSPECTIVE!!!! But I am here to tell you that you need not get surgery, just confidence. Definitely workout though, get in shape as it is good for your heart, your soul AND your confidence and women (and men) appreciate and desire good health, good spirit and good muscle tone. Link to comment
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