My friend, her Hubby, and IMVU

[FireInHeaven]

Hey guys... I know I started one thread already today and I'm sorry.

 

But this is my friend's problem I'm posting about.

 

She called me a little upset because she had to shut her computer down and when she rebooted it IMVU popped up automatically. For anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's one of those 3D avatar chat sites. Her husband has a profile there and he's masquerading as a married Bi Female.

 

And his Avatar thingy looks just like her!

 

She looked at his homepage (which isn't snooping, it's up for the whole internet to see.) and read comments from other Bi-Females on his profile that were really flirtatious. Stuff like "Hey baby, I miss you too and all that love you been sending me." and "I'm going to the store but I'll be back on in 20 minutes. See ya then sexy."

 

She called him and asked him what was up with this and he said he doesn't take the site seriously and never has. And that they are only words he types to people in an imaginary world. But she's still upset.

 

They've had trust issues in the passed and they don't have the best sex life either (sex about every two months.)

 

So, since I didn't know what to tell her, maybe you guys could provide some insight. I'll send her the link to this thread so she can read it.

[karvala]

Well I certainly wouldn't find it acceptable, and nor would I accept the brush-off that he's trying to give her either. There's obviously a reason that he does this, and they both need to understand what that reason is, so that they can find a more appropriate way to deal with it. You implicitly link their lack of sex to this; does that mean that it is infrequent because he doesn't want it very often? If so, what reason does he give for that?

 

What he is doing at the moment would be regarded by many people (including me) as cheating, and he needs to understand the seriousness of it, and choose to stop immediately of his own volition. He also needs to understand the importance of behaving in a trustworthy way, and of not hurting his partner by engaging with other females in this way. Until he understands those things, he's just going to find some other way of doing this again sooner or later.

 

In short, he needs to take the whole thing a lot more seriously, and she needs to help him to do this.