PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 & I can use a few words of encouragement He's a good guy, but he's just a bit careless & insensitive. He had a problem understanding why he should call his gf at least once a day. He preferred to text a few times a day, & wouldn't really bother returning my calls, etc. I told him that it was getting annoying, & he acted like he understood. I told him I wouldn't tolerate carelessness. Friday, I didn't talk to him all day. He texted me around 6 asking what my plans were, & I told him I had plans with friends. He didn't call me the rest of the night. I sent him a text around 2am basically breaking up with him, & he never responded. I haven't talked to him since then... I'm ok, cuz I feel like if he's that careless & if this relationship doesn't mean much to him, then good riddance. Just feelin a lil down since he didn't even bother to call. Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 There is a man out there that will make you feel so loved you will barely be able to remember any lukewarm guy. Good job making yourself free for when he shows up! Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 is that the only thing that he is careless about? Some people shouldn't be forced to talk on the phone every day, especially if he is sending you 6 texts. However, clearly this is what you want in a relationship and if you are not happy then there was no point in dragging it out even further and getting further frustrated. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Wow you broke up with him Friday via text and he hasn't made any attempt to contact you since? Looks like you were right about him not caring then. How long were you together? Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 is that the only thing that he is careless about? Some people shouldn't be forced to talk on the phone every day, especially if he is sending you 6 texts. However, clearly this is what you want in a relationship and if you are not happy then there was no point in dragging it out even further and getting further frustrated. He's just an overall careless person. He doesn't like to communicate. He avoids confrontation, which is the main reason why he hasn't called probably. If I call him during the day, he doesn't care enough to return the call to see if everything's ok. There's been many times when I needed him, & he was nowhere to be found until many hours later. I just got tired of explaining simple things to him that he should already understand. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Wow you broke up with him Friday via text and he hasn't made any attempt to contact you since? Looks like you were right about him not caring then. How long were you together? We were together 3 months. Only reason I broke up with him via text is because I called him a few times that night & got no reply. I got really annoyed & sent him a text saying, "I hope you remember what I told you the other day about you not calling. Hope you're happy now. Bye." Link to comment
Binoo Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Eh, good riddance. You deserve passion, not apathy. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 is that the only thing that he is careless about? Some people shouldn't be forced to talk on the phone every day, especially if he is sending you 6 texts. However, clearly this is what you want in a relationship and if you are not happy then there was no point in dragging it out even further and getting further frustrated. & he texted me around 6. He didn't send me 6 texts. It was only 2 texts. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 & he texted me around 6. He didn't send me 6 texts. It was only 2 texts. Well, obviously i'm not in your relationship ( or was) I hope you feel better about ending it! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 i wasn't commenting on the fact you did it by text. I'm just shocked that you have heard nothing since from him. Really sounds like he couldn't care less. You deserve a lot better than that! Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 i wasn't commenting on the fact you did it by text. I'm just shocked that you have heard nothing since from him. Really sounds like he couldn't care less. You deserve a lot better than that! I know. That's what I keep telling myself to feel better. I just hope he doesn't call me later on this week. I'm finally in recovery mode, & I don't know how I'll take it if he comes back later. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Wow you broke up with him Friday via text and he hasn't made any attempt to contact you since? Looks like you were right about him not caring then. How long were you together? sorry, but if she broke up with him... why would he contact her? Dont' we read this again and again and again and again and again on ENa to go NC when someone dumps you? Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 sorry, but if she broke up with him... why would he contact her? Dont' we read this again and again and again and again and again on ENa to go NC when someone dumps you? Well when someone dumps you cuz it's your fault, you'd assume that they'd at least call back to confirm the break-up. He didn't even bother to call back at all. It's as if he was happy that I did. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I know. That's what I keep telling myself to feel better. I just hope he doesn't call me later on this week. I'm finally in recovery mode, & I don't know how I'll take it if he comes back later. Well just remember that if he were to contact you and you let him come back, things would just be exactly the same unless he is very serious about taking steps to change. sorry, but if she broke up with him... why would he contact her? Dont' we read this again and again and again and again and again on ENa to go NC when someone dumps you? I'm just shocked that she had no reply at all. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I think that NC is good, but if someone really likes the person they are dating and get a text saying 'i want to break up with you" most people will want to call to see if it was some misunderstanding that might have led to such a text. Sure he can go NC after but i find it extremely perplexing that he didn't even bother to pick up the phone at that point and call. I am not a phone person either, so i could give him that if he didn't like the phone, but if there is something my SO really needed to talk about i'd pick up the phone and call. And if he sent a text saying 'i want to break up with you' i certainly would go pay him a visit to at least talk it thru, to find out 'is there some misunderstanding here i am unaware of' and if after that it was clear it was truly what he wanted to do, as in break up, then i would go in NC. No response to that sounds like he wasn't into this very much anyway. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Well when someone dumps you cuz it's your fault, you'd assume that they'd at least call back to confirm the break-up. He didn't even bother to call back at all. It's as if he was happy that I did. Well not even happy, just not bothered in the slightest. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Well just remember that if he were to contact you and you let him come back, things would just be exactly the same unless he is very serious about taking steps to change. I'm just shocked that she had no reply at all. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't take him back...especially after not hearing from him for a few days. Only way I'd consider it is if he's really apologetic & like you said, is serious about changing that habit. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Exactly what I mean. I don't care if he was to go NC after, but I think I at least deserved a call or text back to clarify what's going on. No reply showed me that he doesn't really care. Link to comment
Jeremiah Johnson Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Intense. I had a gf dump me many years ago for similar reasons... I didn't communicate enough. I can understand her needing that communication and I really adored her. But I just didn't have it to give. Can't really explain it... I guess I always felt pressured to "perform" for her in communication, i.e. cheer her up, make her laugh, make her day brighter in some way. And of course I liked doing those things, but it was also stressful... what if I couldn't say the right things? What if I made her feel worse instead of better? What if I just didn't have what she needed emotionally? So eventually I stopped trying and she left. C'est la vie. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'm pretty sure I wouldn't take him back...especially after not hearing from him for a few days. Only way I'd consider it is if he's really apologetic & like you said, is serious about changing that habit. Definitely. And it isn't easy to change. It takes a lot of hard work and effort. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Intense. I had a gf dump me many years ago for similar reasons... I didn't communicate enough. I can understand her needing that communication and I really adored her. But I just didn't have it to give. Can't really explain it... I guess I always felt pressured to "perform" for her in communication, i.e. cheer her up, make her laugh, make her day brighter in some way. And of course I liked doing those things, but it was also stressful... what if I couldn't say the right things? What if I made her feel worse instead of better? What if I just didn't have what she needed emotionally? So eventually I stopped trying and she left. C'est la vie. Isn't it worth trying even though you fear you might get it wrong? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Exactly what I mean. I don't care if he was to go NC after, but I think I at least deserved a call or text back to clarify what's going on. No reply showed me that he doesn't really care. I am sorry he is showing you such apathy. I hope you don't take him back. People CAN change, but it is very difficult and they have to want to do it a great deal. I think that this kind of behavior will likely come right back even if he says he'll stop. It sounds like the two of you have communication issues, which at this point is obvious, and the lack of saying anything at all after a break up text is pretty big. That isn't a pesky little thing. Sometimes people might say 'I want to break up" But it is really just a sign that something is wrong and they want desperately to get that person's attention so they will talk ... could be what happened here with you, but he didn't even care to pick up the phone and say 'babe, what is going on" or anything of the sort. Me and my SO are not big on phone convos either but if i said something even CLOSE to that he'd be breaking down verizon wireless towers to call me and find out what is up. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Well when someone dumps you cuz it's your fault, you'd assume that they'd at least call back to confirm the break-up. He didn't even bother to call back at all. It's as if he was happy that I did. Well whenever someoen breaks up with another, they think it's *their* fault... so i don't really see the difference. If someone breaks up with me, i'm not going to call back. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'm actually wondering if he is aware that you have actually broken up with him. He may have taken the message as you being annoyed and may be giving you a few days to calm down. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'm actually wondering if he is aware that you have actually broken up with him. He may have taken the message as you being annoyed and may be giving you a few days to calm down. I'm wondering about this too.. di dyou say you *want* to break up? And ... like I said in an earlier post. if someone says they don't want me, i'm not going to chase them down. Link to comment
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