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Broken up for 7 months, wanted booty call etc


elan164

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Well me and my ex ex broke up 7 months ago. By the way this was a civil break up. I was distant, then she was distant, it went back and forth until the breaking point. On that day i sent one text about are you sure you want to do this and i miss you already, she said she misses me and that this would be best and i would be really hard to get over. I sent another text which i got no reply.

 

So i left her alone, it was really hard for the first few weeks. Atleast it was summer and i had lots to do, i must admit i fell hard in to the liquor. A month or two later she ends up being at the gym the same time, comes over we talk a bit and say bye. Same thing happens a few more months down the road. Still havent called or texted her since the day we broke up.

 

Then 3 months ago, she initiates a convo online and goes in to how she almost called me so many times for a booty call. Then proceeds to ask me if we could go out for lunch. I said not a good idea (i was kinda with a girl at the time, no one serious, just someone), she said ya i should wait till i dont want to have sex with you. Anyways i cant remember what i replied to all that i kinda just pushed it aside and we said our byes.

 

Fast forward to one month or so ago, shes moving 4 hours away in 3 months and wants to go for dinner. We go it was fun, laughing etc. Weeks later go for a movie, sit in my truck afterwards for 4 hours till 5 in the morning, talking laughing. She mentioned a few times that she really misses me and doesnt want to leave my truck. I can feel feelings coming back that i worked so hard to lose. We hugged really hard and she kissed me on the neck.

 

Now yesterday, another movie, sat in my truck for about an hour. I really wanted to kiss her. I have no idea what to do now. I can feel feelings coming back. She says she wants me to come visit her when she gets her new place. I like spending this time with her more and more but i can see im falling for her again.

 

Should i tell her i cant hang out anymore and the reason why, or just ??? .... haha I'm lost.

 

By the way, me and this girl were together for 5 years, we click really well, and for this reason i care about her alot, hence how i was able to leave her alone and let her do whatever she wanted the day we broke up. I never texted emailed or called after the break up and now im wondering if that made her feel unwanted, i dont know, like i said im lost.

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It depends on the reason why you guys broke up in the first place. 5 years together is a really long time, therefore it's normal to still have feelings for her. If you feel that hanging with her, will eventually cause you more pain then I suggest that it won't be the best approach. However, if you're okay with just being friends with benefits, then that's fine too. Just remember, that this is a very tricky situation, feelings and emotions are more involved, and you can't really truly remain friends. You need to reassess on why you guys broke up to begin with. As far as I can see, you still have strong feelings for her, constantly seeing her again may cause a lot of issues down the road.

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It depends on the reason why you guys broke up in the first place. 5 years together is a really long time, therefore it's normal to still have feelings for her. If you feel that hanging with her, will eventually cause you more pain then I suggest that it won't be the best approach. However, if you're okay with just being friends with benefits, then that's fine too. Just remember, that this is a very tricky situation, feelings and emotions are more involved, and you can't really truly remain friends. You need to reassess on why you guys broke up to begin with. As far as I can see, you still have strong feelings for her, constantly seeing her again may cause a lot of issues down the road.

 

Broke up because i was distant, always going out with my friends without her, she works nights i work days. Then she would do the same and go out with her friends and we became distant. So after a while of bouncing back and forth she said she didnt want to waste any more time and that she wasnt in love with me anymore.

 

I let her go, i didnt fight against her wishes and now im wondering if that looks like i didnt really care, which wasnt true. I thought about telling her how i still feel and seeing if she feels the same (some of her actions and words hint that she does) but i dont know if i want to throw myself out there. I was looking at little signs like putting gum in her mouth and putting lip chap on as kiss me but i didnt want to cross the boundry and it be awkward. She leaves in a few months and i just dont know where to go from here.

 

Thanks for any input.

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In a sense, it did seem as though you didn't put enough thought into your relationship with her. If you truly feel that you want to work things out with her, you have to have a serious talk with her and see what she feels about it. Are you capable of having a long distance relationship with her? Sometimes it's good to just let your guards down and fight for what you feel is right for you. Just be sure she feels the same way, and isn't just looking for a fling. Good luck!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ex has been bugging me to go to a movie through text, i never replied, dont really know what to say. Sent me another one today saying lets go for dinner or something. Still havent replied. Last time i hung out with her i felt some feelings coming back and the urge to call her after that. I dont want to get feelings again and then go through thinking about her all the time. So im trying to figure out what to say to her. Be honest and upfront? or just say im busy?

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I say be honest with her. Tell her that you've realized that you're still not over her, and cannot become friends yet. I think that if she feels the same way, she will approach you about it. That way, you're not explicitly saying that you want to get back together, but you are letting her know your interest. Good luck!

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I dont think exes really should ever/can ever be friends, theres too much history. Im over her, its just that starting to hang out with her again feelings come back, and you remember the times that were had. Im fine right now, but if i hang out with her again i know the next day (few days) shell be on my mind again. Like right now its been a few weeks since the last time we hung out, and im fine with that, im over it, she could be dating another guy and id be fine. I could just keep blowing her messages off and go on with my life unscaved. But...i feel like ignoring her texts is an assholeish thing to do and a part of me likes seeing her, but i hate the feeling afterward.

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I dont think exes really should ever/can ever be friends, theres too much history. Im over her, its just that starting to hang out with her again feelings come back, and you remember the times that were had. Im fine right now, but if i hang out with her again i know the next day (few days) shell be on my mind again. Like right now its been a few weeks since the last time we hung out, and im fine with that, im over it, she could be dating another guy and id be fine. I could just keep blowing her messages off and go on with my life unscaved. But...i feel like ignoring her texts is an assholeish thing to do and a part of me likes seeing her, but i hate the feeling afterward.

 

I'm usually not so for this, but maybe ask her what her intentions are, what she sees with you guys, if she wants to see where things go?

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