megno07 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 So I'm seeing my ex and having no strings attached sex with him....I have always wanted to have a threesome and I brought the subject up with him. He of course suggests my now really good friend. She is in the process of leaving her husband and she has a low self esteem. I really don't want to ask her because It may very well ruin what friendship and trust we have and make her feel weird around me. On the other hand it could be incredibly hot lol....What to do. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I wouldn't be cool with any of my friends sleeping with my ex. Link to comment
lilsmc Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 i would never be involved in a 3 some with my close friend. You mentioned "now good friend" so by asking her to be involved, you might actually make things weird between you two because you guys are just starting a true friendship. Would you even feel comfortable enough to do that with her? Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 If she's in the midst of emotional turmoil leaving her husband etc., now is NOT the time to suggest a sexual fling... She probably needs emotional support right now and doesn't want any issues complicating a divorce. World is full of other people to ask rather than someone who is vulnerable at this time. Link to comment
megno07 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 I would feel comfortable doing this with her lol.....She has never had good sex before. I am cool with the idea of my ex having sex with her. It's weird. I just don't want to do this with some random stranger. So that's why I concidered her. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 So I'm seeing my ex and having no strings attached sex with him....I have always wanted to have a threesome and I brought the subject up with him. He of course suggests my now really good friend. She is in the process of leaving her husband and she has a low self esteem. I really don't want to ask her because It may very well ruin what friendship and trust we have and make her feel weird around me. On the other hand it could be incredibly hot lol....What to do. Why are you more worried about what that fling would do to your friendship rather than how that fling can potentially spiral your friend even further down the self-esteem ladder. The last thing she needs right now is to be the third wheel in a setup where you and your ex have already established a sexual rapport. Her life is in a turmoil right now and asking her to indulge your fantasy is just not appropriate for HER sake, never mind the friendship aspect. Don't let hot sex blind you from seeing the really important things in life. If you want a threesome go to the local sex shop and see if they have any groups that cater to these kinds of lifestyles..then you and your ex can link up with other likeminded people who you know would be up for that kind of scene. Trying to ask friends and acquaintances if they would be willing to oblige puts those people into an awkward situation. Link to comment
megno07 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 You have some good points there.....my ex is just saying that he doesn't want some random person. Oh well. Guess it's better just left as a fantasy. Link to comment
Mutley Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Yea, some things are best left that way. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Imagine how badly your friend would take that invite? Then decide if it's worth it. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 As a general rule, if you're going to do something that involves the very broad category of "alternative sexual activities/practices/lifestyle," you're going to be far better off becoming involved with people who are reasonably mentally healthy and stable with a strong sense of self to begin with....and who are actively seeking to engage in that activity. Your friend does not meet this description at this time in her life. It's a disaster waiting to happen (for her). Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Maybe its best not now to do it, but maybe sometime in the future? Is she sexually open, etc? Maybe she would rly love to do that....Maybe sometime in the future when shes free from all the divorce stress, bring up threesome in a convo, see what she thinks about them, maybe she will say "oh Ive always wanted to have one" or "omg thats something Id never do " ----Who knows. But I think its best to wait a bit till shes over the divorce, and till you are closer friends. ... Link to comment
FireInHeaven Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I've had friends proposition me for threesomes... trust me, it's really awkward. I've never done it, just because I've seen so many relationships and friendships ruined over it. In fantasy land, everything goes as planned. But in real life that's usually not the case. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 ask him what he thinks of you and another guy. Link to comment
Nutz Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 If she's in the midst of emotional turmoil leaving her husband etc., now is NOT the time to suggest a sexual fling... She probably needs emotional support right now and doesn't want any issues complicating a divorce. World is full of other people to ask rather than someone who is vulnerable at this time. Or, she wants to get her freak on now that she's not attached. I'd say make the offer, see if she's interested in getting it out of her system now, and go from there. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Plus I've found women coming out of serious/long term relationships are freaks in the sack. Chalk it up to making up for lost time or something. Link to comment
alcide Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 You can but just bear in mind that they might continue behind your back, can you deal with that? Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 But I think its best to wait a bit till shes over the divorce, and till you are closer friends. ... If a guy becoming closer friends to a girl for sex is creepy then I believe the same rule applies here. Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Or, she wants to get her freak on now that she's not attached. I'd say make the offer, see if she's interested in getting it out of her system now, and go from there. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Plus I've found women coming out of serious/long term relationships are freaks in the sack. Chalk it up to making up for lost time or something. And her low self-esteem and losing someone she at one time thought was "the one" and now could be coaxed into trying to validate herself in someone's eyes has nothing to do with it. Link to comment
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