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My best friend slept with my boyfriend..


BrunetteBarbie

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I just found this out today. ON A SEX TAPE!

 

Hes not my boyfriend anymore, we broke up like 5 months ago, I tried and tried in this relationship but he did not give back anything, he lied to me, cheated on me,... He really broke my heart cause I did like him a lot,for whatever reason.

 

 

Anyway one of my best girlfriends, she borrowed to me her memory card cuz i cant find mine, and I wanted to record myself by video while playing a beautifull song on the Guitar, so I put in the card, record, then put the card into my laptop, and while trying to find my video in all the folders (maybe others could find it easy,but Im a newb with such computer stuff ), there is 1 folder with just 1 file in it, its a video titled with my ex-bf and my bestfriends name, so I am " , and click in it, and its almsot like a porn movie!!! They doing oral on eachother, many positions etcetc... wow.. I still cant believe it, cuz she rly, rly is close & special to me, we know eachother since we are 8/9 yrs old, trusted eachother.

 

 

And yeye before you say it, Im not stupid I already checked the date of it and yes its few months before we broke up.. It was during a time that i was coming to her, crying, asking her what should I do about our relationship, he is just lying to me all the time, etc. She always comforted me, made me feel better. I did not ever guess she would do this to me, have sex with my bf behind my back??? Its so lame, i guess she is not the person i thought she was?

 

 

 

I still havent told her that i know, I can call her right now but Im still too mad, I wanna calm a bit down before I do anything.. Shes always sweet with me, together we can do the craziest things, we talk about anything, shes a pretty girl but always I had the feeling she was envious about me, she was copying me etc. know what I mean?? maybe youve had ppl like this in ur life. who are your friends but they alwas give u a feeling that theyre jealous or something.

 

 

She probably forgot baout the video else why would she lend to me her card, or she knew she still had it but did not think i would find it. What should I do now......? Abandone her? or let her explane and maybe forgive her? I really dunno atm. Im so angry,. and why the heck they would record themself while having sex ? I cant find a reason.. I always knew she had an attraction to him, always told me aww hes so hot, blabla but always with a joking tone,..

 

 

My ex-bf I dont care, I still see him sometimes but i dont give craps about him, i already know he cheated on me with different girls. Im only angry on the girl that i thought would never betray me

 

pls help.

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Are you absolutely sure it's her?

 

I'm so sorry. That would be completely traumatizing for me, to find what you found. I could not be friends with someone after she did that, regardless of the excuse.

 

I don't know if you should confront her. I know I would be VERY angry in that scenario, and want information (how long? when? why?), but I'm not sure confronting her would make me feel better - what if she isn't apologetic? what if she makes up excuses? what if she says awful things about your relationship and blames your boyfriend's infidelity on you? I would also be very worried about controlling my emotions.

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I'm really sorry to hear this.

 

Let me tell you that after years of putting up with crap like this from so called "friends" I find it easier and easier to cut people like this out of my life.

Think about what friendship means to you. Friends are people you can trust. They should be there when you need them.

Your "friend" is incredibly two-faced. I don't even know how a person could be so disloyal.

I would suggest ditching the both of them. It may hurt now but believe me, you'll be glad you did it.

Simply tell her you found her tape and leave it at that. I don't really think any further closure is necessary. Don't listen to her explainations. There's no excuse for what she's done.

Anyone who causes you this much pain is certainly not worth your time.

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Are you absolutely sure it's her?

 

I'm so sorry. That would be completely traumatizing for me, to find what you found. I could not be friends with someone after she did that, regardless of the excuse.

 

I don't know if you should confront her. I know I would be VERY angry in that scenario, and want information (how long? when? why?), but I'm not sure confronting her would make me feel better - what if she isn't apologetic? what if she makes up excuses? what if she says awful things about your relationship and blames your boyfriend's infidelity on you? I would also be very worried about controlling my emotions.

 

Thank you, and yes its really her, its her voice and I recognize her body/face. Its a little dark but I 100% know its him & her.

 

Youre right, well I know I really do want to confront with her, cuz Ill see her lots of times and I know i cant just act like i do not know about anything. But youre absolutly right.. I will talk to her when Im calm and relaxe..

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A true friend would not do something like this to you.

 

I would let her know that you've seen the video and that you no longer want to be friends.

 

It'll be better for you not to have this person in your life. Just think about other things she could be lying to you about. If it happened once, it will happen again.

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I think she failed the fundamental requirement of being a friend... honesty, respect, betrayal you name it she stepped on and over every line imagined line there is between friends.

 

In my opinion, she is not and was not truly your friend... maybe she was in SOME aspects... but certainly she does not deserve the title 'best friend' ever again.

 

I would simply leave the memory card with a note that says nice skin flick... and then leave. Let her figure out why you wont take her calls after that.

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I dont really even know what to say reading this. This is just so many things that are bad to have to deal with. Its probably good that you kinda see that she could do something like this or not like this but she had that type of vibe around her. It would be so hard if she didnt really show any signs because it would probably really trip you out to see someone that seemed so genuine to do something like this. I had something like that happen with my ex when she completely changed on me and im still trying to deal with all of the problems its caused me.

 

I still think it must be so painful to know when it happened because you were talking about how that was a tough time for you. Its kinda hard to know what to do because most likely you are going to do what you want to do. Im just not sure how youll handle it but you seem like you at least have some self control which is going to be really important. I guess see how things go and if you need to talk stuff out i guess ppl on this site could help. I dont know if you would feel traumatized at all because that can be something so painful that its hard to even talk about. I guess if it comes to that just try to be ready to deal with alot because its a very difficult thing to deal with.

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Aw BB I am so terribly sorry to hear about this. To be betrayed by a boyfriend is one thing but by a bestfriend is a million times worse.

 

I'm afraid that she isn't truly a friend to you at all. How could she do such a thing if she were? Are you okay?

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I agree with the others. Are you sure she didn't purposely leave it on there? How does someone forget where they saved their sex tape?(Unless they make them regularly).

 

So that there's a chance it can be circulating on the net?

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I'm so sorry that this happened to you. In my opinion, I would confront her and see what her reason was for doing what she did. In regards to being friends with her, I highly doubt that you should remain friends with her. She betrayed your trust... right in front of your face. You really don't need these type of detrimental people in your life. It really sucks to realize things like that. I had an incident similar that happened to me in the past. My "best friend" in the whole wide world, or so I thought, hooked up my my ex bf right after we broke up. As far as I know, it was a short while after. It's not completely the same scenario, but it hurts just as much. As she was the one who hooked me up with him, her fiance was good friends with him, and yet I think back, whenever we had problems she always seemed to side with him - now I know why. She initially told me that they got high one day, and she didn't know what happened and slept with him, but when I confronted her she told me that she's been seeing him for months. It was really funny because she had the nerves to still hang with her fiance and him together - as if nothing was out of the ordinary. As far as I know, they continued seeing each other for close to 2 years - her fiance and her are still together. Strange world. There were times I think to myself, if she was really my best friend she would not lie behind my back and do the things she did. Your friend is fake, I would never trust her again, regardless of what she says. I'm sorry that you have to feel this way, but at least you know the truth about her - and that in itself speaks volumes.

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ty everyone who posted and helped. Im rly not sure if she left it there on porpose, she is a bit clumsy, forgetful sometimes, maybe she rly just forgot, since it was quite a while ago..

 

I havent talked to her yet...

She sent me a mobil phone text like half hour ago, saying: " Hey sweetheart what's up? Haven't heard from you all day. Kisses, love you "

 

 

...cuz if we dont hangout in person we usually talk atleast once a day per phone, if not phone then instant messenger..

 

 

I dunno what to say ? Its in the past, should i just forget it? Or I should ask her about it and see what she says.. Atm Im calm and relaxe but I dunno how to speak to her. Really I dont wanna lose our friendship, its a very special one, but I cant believe she did this to me... help

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Sorry, I think you mentioned it before but did she do it while you both where broken up?

 

She seems like someone who isn't entirely trustworthy to be honest. But maybe a good person to simply hang out with.

 

Do you have other friends? I'd look into making new ones..

And like you I'd wonder if I need to just let it go. I say tell her you saw it. See what she has to say.

And let her know what she's done is very very hurtfull. Then take it from there and see what she has to say.

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Sorry sweetheart, but if she has as much respect for the friendship as you did, she would not have done what she did behind your back. How can you possibly trust her again, after knowing what she did to you? I would definitely bring it up to her and see what she has to say. Honestly, no amount of explanation would be able to justify her actions, but that's just my opinion. There are plenty of other people out there that would not betray you the way she did. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

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Youre right, thanks.

 

Jeckyll,

No she didnt do it while we were broken up, we were together during that time.

 

yes, ofc I have other friends. But still it sucks to lose someone whos been so close to me for sooo many years. But yeh Im gonna talk to her about it. When I find the right time..

 

I have a big circle of good friends, and like 5-6 of them who are very very VERY special and dear to me, who Ive know since I was a little kid... To me friendship is everything, my friends mean the world to me and Id never ever do anything to hurt them, or betray them.. Really, friends are the most important thing to me in my life.. and it hurts so much to see that 1 of them does not feel the same way about me . But Ill see what she says and Ill post it here ~~

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OK now it time to wake her up. Email the video of her and your boyfriend to her. Under the heading say a really cool video you want to share with her. Then Tell her in the email before she opens the attachment. "I know you will get a kick out of this. I can't believe one friend would do this to another. LOL"

 

If she is your bff she may even throw up. She will when she calls you sobbing asking for forgiveness, and you tell her. Oh don't worry about it. You did me a favor. I just sold the video to "Cheaters caught in the act" for $300.00. It should be loaded up on their site by now. Do you know that they get over 600,000 hits a day?

 

Cost of a memory card $75.00, cost of a phone confession, free. Hearing your ex BFF puking over the phone at her exposure...Priceless.

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I'm confused... Is this the school teacher from your other threads or a different guy?

 

hahaha nonononononono if you read right you will understand that this is my ex bf Im talking about.

 

 

 

abouttime hahahah rly good response! made me laugh Thanks, I needed a smile.. have just been down all the time since I found out. I saw her in school today, (she goes in the same school), but didnt talk to her much/acted neutral and she keeps asking me whats wrong, she tried to call me after school, I ignored it, then she send a text that saying: "Honey whats wrong, did I do something? Or are you feeling bad about something else? Pls answer me, love you so much"

 

"oh * * * * I forgot to ask brunette babe. Does your BFF know your present boyfriend? Ouch!"

Nope cuz I dont have a bf atm. But youre right, next time I have one she will maybe try something with him..

 

 

mmm I didnt talk to her yet cuz Im not sure how to approach about it... Im sure I will take her next call and just say I found the truth.

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I can almost guarantee she most definitely will try something with your next boyfriend. You really shouldn't have someone like this in your life. If you absolutely must keep her, DO NOT introduce her to any guys you are dating, or even interested in.

 

I have learned this through experience. My best friend in college was someone very much like your friend. She was the one her friends went to for a shoulder to cry on when things weren't going so well with their boyfriends. She was also the friend who was secretly sleeping with their boyfriends. She even set a friend up with a guy she was sleeping with, and continued hooking up with him after he and the friend became boyfriend/girlfriend. She had a serious jealous streak in her, just like your friend. She liked being able to seduce the boyfriends of her attractive friends. She got away with all sorts of cr*p because guys wanted to "do" her, and girls thought she was sweet. But believe me, she was the ultimate back stabber, the quintessential fork-tongued, two-faced snake.

 

I never managed to get a boyfriend during our time at school, but she did step in and find ways to prevent me from getting anywhere with guys I was interested in. She would tell them all the thoughts and feelings I was confiding to her. When we finished school and moved to separate places, I did start dating someone. The day she met him, he told me she tried hitting on him. I didn't doubt it was the truth. I knew her history, but had not said anything to him about it before he met her.

 

I can't stress enough how much better off without your friend you will be. She has this sickness in her, born of self-hatred and jealousy, that will compel her to go after her friends' boyfriends. You would be wise to cut her out of your life.

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Hello guys I talked to her today.

 

 

Again I barely talked with her in school, acted distant to her,etc, she was upset, always asking me whats wrong, she worries so much etc.

 

 

Then after school she called me and I picked up, and it went something like this (not exactly word for word but Ive pretty good memory for conversations):

 

Me "What do you want?"

Her " I want to know whats wrong so we can talk about it"

Me "You tell me what's wrong"

Her "What the heck are you talking about honey??? Just tell me whats the problem"

Me "No, I want you to tell me. Did you ever betray me or abuse my trust in any way "

Her, with scared tone "what are you talking about, (my name)..."

Me "Yes or no? Did you??"

Her "Do you think I have?"

Me "Hmm wait, let me give you a hint. Its xxx Megabytes big, xxx Minutes long and for some really strange, mysterious reason it is inside your memory card. Ring a bell???"

 

..she seems to try to say something, then just silence..

 

after some more silence:

Me "wait wait wait, dont even bother now to try make up excuses or justifications... Theres no point... Id like to hear an explanation at maximum, after that, I dont think I will want to speak with you again"

Her "I dont know what to say..."

Me "How could you do it? Seriously?"

Her "I am so sorry, really.. I dont know why I did it... he was always so nice to me, being around me and so on. I liked him but I rly didnt plan on doing anything with him. It just happened.. you were having problems.. He came to a party of mine one night (It was a party I couldnt go to) and he flirted with me the whole evening, then when everyone left it just happened.. At first I hesitated but then I coudlnt stop..Im sorry, I wasnt thinking.. and I didnt know we were filmed, he put my camera on, not me, I found the tape weeks after, and forgot to remove it..."

Me "Well Im glad you did. Otherwise you wouldve never admitted to me and I wouldnt had found out what kind of person you are."

 

then suddenly, she got angry!

 

Her "Why are you acting like this?? You get any guy that u want. You've had so many guys you cant even count anymore, so why dont u grudge me just one guy? You were having problems anyway, it was so obvious u two were going to break up soon. Maybe its not rly a justification but you dont need to act like its the end of the world. .."

 

Me, speechless. Then: "Okay, wow. If thats ur mentality, Im glad Im no longer your friend. I trusted you and you took adtanvage from it. if you dont want to lose the rest of your friends, learn how to respect and how to be loyal. Thats all I have to say. Good bye"

 

I hunged up before she could say anything.

 

 

Ofc as I said its not the exact way that the convo went, but u get the general idea. Right now I feel angry, disappointed, that she feels this way, espectially her last sentence. I always helped her, listened to her, was there for her, just like a friend should. Its not how I expected she would thank me for all it.

 

 

What yo dou think? Atm Im not sure how to proceed..... I rly still like her but she acted awful. Maybe you think she is justified in her reasons? MAybe she felt worthless and needed his attnetion and she did not think? Maybe she has regret it ever since, and felt bad? Maybe she will change.

 

 

Pls I need your opinions. I dont want to make decisions to abandon a friend if i didnt put much thought and advice into that decision

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