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For guys with low or no libido, can kissing still be enjoyable?


michiru

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I was thinking.. my exbf and I broke up because of his low libido and he didn't have the desire to have sex (he wanted space to deal with it.. he was on medications and it wasn't working.. haven't had sex in a year or so.. etc to make a long story short).

 

Anyway, we kiss, but it's a quick one and not really making out (like we used to when we were having sex). Could it be because a kiss is a prelude to making love and since he has no desire to make love, in his mind, he didnt have the desire to kiss as well?

 

I'm getting depressed thinking about it. I love him with ALL my heart and I have hopes that in the future we will get back together....

 

I am scared he will realized that we had intimacy problems because he simply wasn't attracted to me.

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Kisses can be all sorts of thing. Passionate ones can be a promise of things to come or a prelude to sex. They can be just to show your love for one another.

 

My ex once said he didnt kiss me anymore because kissing had been replaced by sex (he was an idiot) And my new bf loves kissing and not just when its leading up to sex. So i think all guys think differently.

 

It sounds like he does have genuine issues. But whether you can wait around for him to get over them is up to you. It'll be a very tough road and he may never get his libido back.

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Kisses can be all sorts of thing. Passionate ones can be a promise of things to come or a prelude to sex. They can be just to show your love for one another.

 

My ex once said he didnt kiss me anymore because kissing had been replaced by sex (he was an idiot) And my new bf loves kissing and not just when its leading up to sex. So i think all guys think differently.

 

It sounds like he does have genuine issues. But whether you can wait around for him to get over them is up to you. It'll be a very tough road and he may never get his libido back.

 

BlueAfterglow, thank you for replying. I can always count on you.

 

Anyway, I would take my bf the way he is.. I really would. But this is his decision to be apart from me.. to deal with his issues, etc. I am afraid of him finding another girl and realizing I wasn't the one (he said he wasn't sure if I was the one... because of our issues).

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Kissing can be whatever you want it to be you know? Every guy sees it differently. Maybe he thinks if you start making out you'll want sex and it'll get awkward, or maybe to him it is that prelude.

 

If you truly think it'll work out then stick with him, but dont be afraid to move on at the same time. You can be there for him and live your life

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Kissing can be whatever you want it to be you know? Every guy sees it differently. Maybe he thinks if you start making out you'll want sex and it'll get awkward, or maybe to him it is that prelude.

 

If you truly think it'll work out then stick with him, but dont be afraid to move on at the same time. You can be there for him and live your life

 

He doesn't want me to be there.

 

He said he'll be surprised if he doesn't come back to me but in the meantime, he doesn't want me to be like a dog on a leash....

 

I went out on a date last week. Guy is really nice... but he's not my bf, the love of my life. I will live my life but my heart feels so heavy

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I was engaged to a guy i wanted to marry and have kids with. It didnt work out because he had issues I could never take away. I got over it, adn it hurt and sometimes it still hurts.

 

If this guy was the one for you, he'd be with you, regardless of any problems he'd say 'Hey we'll work through them'

 

Not sort of keep you hanging on whilst he ponders if he wants you or not.

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I was engaged to a guy i wanted to marry and have kids with. It didnt work out because he had issues I could never take away. I got over it, adn it hurt and sometimes it still hurts.

 

If this guy was the one for you, he'd be with you, regardless of any problems he'd say 'Hey we'll work through them'

 

Not sort of keep you hanging on whilst he ponders if he wants you or not.

 

We've been trying to work out our problems for more than a year If it was up to me, I'd still be trying to work them out. Now he promised me he will go see a therapist.

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But you must see that, if he really loved you and wanted it to work he'd be with you he wouldnt say stuff like he probably wont EVER get back with you.

 

Well, he said "he'll probably come back to me" but wanting to be with me or not wanting to be with me is not the issue though.. he said he loves me but really needs to deal with his issue.. to him, it's not about our relationship or me.. This is about him. I get really mad sometimes thinking about it. I feel like he's only thinking about himself.. and he is... but my guy friends always tell me to let him go and let him deal with his stuff because this is very important that I can't possible think about.

 

Who knows.

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What medications was he on for?

 

Wow a whole year with no sex? And did this include no kissing too? I know it sounds a bit selfish but I'd be a bit frustrated with the situation.

 

Recently my bf has lost his desire for sex due to some family problems/changes. It made me feel a bit unwanted even though it wasn't my fault. His kisses became shorter. As soon as we'd begin making out he'd pull away which also wasn't something he usually did. And I felt sometimes he was kissing me just for the sake of it...

But yes, he did kiss me. We give/gave each other alot of small pecks. And making out became a once in a while thing, but it didn't stop completely.

 

Even though we don't kiss so much lately we still find other ways to feel connected like hugging, cuddeling and talking. And ocassionally his libido will pop back.

 

It's all new to us, maybe been happening a few weeks, but from what I see, I think even if a guys libido drops, if he's still in love he'll do his best to still make you feel wanted in other ways.

 

It seems to me maybe he is depressed and didn't care to be in a relationship anymore?

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Hi. He was depressed... but he was more depressed about his situation than anything else (he was also depressed about his job). He was on testosterone medications.. trying to get his libido back. He was almost obsessed about it.. trying to get his sexuality back. He feels that he lost a big part of himself and I know he really really wants to get to the bottom of it.

 

Here was the original thread about my relationship with him if you care to read about it. [thread]273915[/thread]

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