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Hard to explain but I really need help!


nrgiles

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My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 4 years now. I am 20 and he is 22. When we started dating, everything was perfect. We always hung out, and loved spending with one another. But over the last year or two, i have noticed that its not quite like that anymore. He started hanging out with this friends and drinking every single weekend. We camly had a discussion about this issue and he told me it was because of the way I was. He didnt want to spend his weekends with me because i usually ruin them but * * * * * ing him out over little things, etc. So we came to a compromise, if I calm down a bit, then he will spend time with me and my friends on the weekends. So we tried it and during the weeks were perfect but the last two saturdays we were together, of course, i started a fight, and i admit that. That was my fault. So now he didnt even bother seeing me this saturday because of the previous saturdays. He said to me before, "you have to make me want to spend time with you, im not gonna waste my weekends being mad and fighting with you." Im not sure if any of this makes sense, but i just want to know is this even right? Shouldn't a "boyfriend" want to want to spend time with his girlfriend, no matter what? Maybe Im wrong. Please help me. I am so confused, and i just want to know what we can do!

 

oh btw, he stays all week with me but goes over his fathers house on the weekends.

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Shouldn't a "boyfriend" want to want to spend time with his girlfriend, no matter what?

 

it's funny how my ex used to say the same thing to me. i'm 24 now, she's 23. we dated for almost 8 years. we saw each other everyday too. at times, i began to feel really suffocated since she was so demanding of me and my time.

 

maybe you can just give him some time to hang out with his friends by himself. he might be feeling a bit suffocated after 4 years and every little thing he hears from you sounds like nagging. i know that a bit of time alone away from my ex made me miss her and want to spend time with her more.

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I feel you are both overlooking a fundamental thing. Committed relationships will always have their ups and downs. The key to a better long term one is to work out your lows to get past these sticking points and work things out. Both of you have to work at it.

Its all too easy to run away but this does not make for a fulfilling stable relationship.

So you started a fight ...big deal . He should come back to talk this issue out and how to improve both your communication for the good of your future together. You are both to blame and both responsible to make it work.

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