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6 Months Later...


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It has been 6 months since my ex-boyfriend decided to rip my heart out and abandon me... not that I'm bitter or anything. I know that I have made some progress because I do not bust out into tears randomly, I do not drink everyday anymore, and I have forced myself to go out with a couple guys.

 

He broke up with me and I was in shock. He said that the spark was gone and he needed time to think. I gave him that time and a couple days later he decided to change his status on myspace to single without even telling me first. He tried to break up with me over the phone but I refused to let him do that to me after two years together. When we met up he was crying more than me, saying that he still loved me, he needed to find himself, and it did not mean we would not be together later. A couple weeks later, pictures surfaced online of him and some girl.. however I know now that they never got together. We shared a dog and ended up fighting over him (he ended up keeping him), saying very hurtful things during that time. He sent me an apology letter saying he did not mean to say those things and that we both just needed to go our separate ways because it was too hard right then.

 

He has not tried to initiate contact with me one time. I have drunk texted him twice, sent some messages on facebook, and basically told him I wanted to start over (no response). He is really big into his band now and I recently found out he was seeing a 40 yr old (hes 24) with kids (which he didnt want for awhile). He obviously is not the same person.

 

I still think about him constantly and I miss him so much. The person I described above was not the person that I dated. The person I dated was wonderful to me and treated me very well. We were crazy about each other and I really believe that we are meant to be together. I can not say anything negative about our relationship because we really loved one another.

 

I do not know how to move on. I am not remotely attracted to any guy I meet and I don't think I will ever love anyone like I loved him.

 

Help.

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Hang in there Sophia.

 

I'm in a similar situation as you, just 2 months ahead.

 

I've forced myself to go out and try to meet new people and even went out on a date, only to find out I wasn't ready.

 

I'm not sure what happened, but a few weeks ago, I've decided to really take control of my life. I've been exercising at home for over the last 10 years, but first joined a gym now. I eat really healthy now and am pushing myself to get even more muscular defined.

 

Sounds like you're approximately 24?? Set yourself some goals that you want to accomplish and work hard at them and stay focused. The more you do that, the less time you have to think about the ex. It might not be what you want to hear, but right now you don't have to much choice but to move on. Use this as motivation to better yourself.

 

Hope this helps some.

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Hi Sophia,

 

I agree with the above poster. I remember a girl who went behind my back a few years back. When it ended, I was hurt, then angered, then proud, in the sense that I wasn't going to let it beat me. In fact, I did let myself have a quick grieve but then used the situation to galvanise myself. I thought "Okay, I am not good enough for her, I'll make it impossible for it to happen again". I cleaned up, planned some trips away, began to lose weight (proud to say I am 40 lbs lighter now than I was then) and enjoy a regular fitness routine. I got back into the things I liked to do before I met her too.

 

I assume too you are in your 20's somewhere and if so, you have a long road ahead. You may have even had a lucky escape. I don't doubt the credibility of the guy but my last girlfriend was the same. I think the world of her as a person but when we got closer, she was doing the same things to me. It hurt an awful lot. The good thing though is that you recognise in your post that things are getting better. You will live to fight another day and you know what, you will be stronger and one notch wiser when you meet the next guy.

 

My only advice to you would be not to force yourself on dates. Only go if you feel like it. It may just end up as a temporary distraction and if you are not quite over your ex, you may inadvertently put up walls or not feel right about the whole thing.

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Don't even try to rush it, it doesn't work. It's okay if you're not ready to look at other guys or date. Just live your life single for a bit. When you're ready you'll notice yourself looking at other guys again and when you get asked out, you'll be excited for a date.

 

You absolutely will love someone again. Maybe not like you loved your ex, but possibly more (hard to believe now, I know).

 

But... that person was your ex. All the crappy things he did, all the wonderful things he did, it's all him, not just some of it. Do you want to love someone capable of such crappiness?

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