AviatorsWork Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 This is my first time on one of these forums, so I'm not exactly sure how this stuff works. I'm also a 17 year old guy in high-school, so I apologize if the things I say seem...Inexperienced, or just flat out stupid =\ Thing is, I met this girl early on in the school year...She is a senior, and I am a sophomore so right off the bat there were problems, but nonetheless, she would tell me she was very attracted to me, and that she wanted more serious things with me, and I returned the sentiments. Well, we were playing the game for about a month and a half, at which point, she decided to get back together with her old boyfriend. Needless to say, I was devastated. I went through an entire phase when my day consisted of school, going home, and sleep. I stopped going to football practice, left the marching band, and started ignoring everyone around me. But, bright side was that we still had a good relationship, even as friends. But, about 2 or 3 months ago, she made some comments, that really dug deep. Those consisted of, "I would never date a sophomore", "You took what I said out of context", and "I was kidding when I was saying that" I didn't pay it much attention, and I just broke everything off with her. I hadn't spoken to her until last Thursday. We spoke, and shes still with that A*****e, but she was telling me that, she never meant what she said about not meaning what she said ( I know that's a tad confusing ) But yea, She claims to have meant everything she said when I first met her. And I never really got over her, and I'm feeling that I'm falling for her again..Even though I know I can't have her, and I know that shes in a relationship... Again, I'm 17, so I was hoping that You guys would be able to kind of help shed some light on the situation...Maybe someone has been in a similar predicament before..I don't know, I would just really appreciate some helpful advice Please and Thank you Link to comment
slippkitten108 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 i have been in similar situations and probably,the best thing for you to do would be to distance yourself from her. The majority of people who play mind games will continue to do so. i have been on the giving and receiving end of them. if you already know that it will most likely will not go anywhere, then i would say end it. it might be best for you to distance yourself from her until you are over her as well. that way, once you are over her you can decide if you really do want to be friends with her, or if you would just be wanting more... Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I agree with slippkitten's post. I say distance yourself. High School is all about mind games and ego boosts (IMO). Girls feed off of the attention from guys at that age. Heck, some do all their lives. She could also be saying that stuff because she doesn't want her boyfriend seeing you guys flirting, so she might think this is the best way to avoid that possible scenario and him asking questions. You have to come to terms with the fact that she is dating someone else and you need to respect that. Women and men that are in relationships, no matter how serious, are off limits, especially to those who know about the SO. Link to comment
AviatorsWork Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 I agree with slippkitten's post. I say distance yourself. High School is all about mind games and ego boosts (IMO). Girls feed off of the attention from guys at that age. Heck, some do all their lives. She could also be saying that stuff because she doesn't want her boyfriend seeing you guys flirting, so she might think this is the best way to avoid that possible scenario and him asking questions. You have to come to terms with the fact that she is dating someone else and you need to respect that. Women and men that are in relationships, no matter how serious, are off limits, especially to those who know about the SO. That confused me... especially the last bit...I had been ignoring her for the last like, 2 or 3 months, and when we finally speak, it's her that was flirting with me...I don't understand how that would be her trying to avoid her boyfriend's suspicion. I appreciate the help guys, but maybe shes not playing mind games...maybe shes trying to tell me that shes planning on dumping the other guy ](*,) Or maybe you guys are right, and I AM the other guy I just don't get why she would play with me again...Should I confront her about it? Link to comment
slippkitten108 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 you can try confronting her about it, but if you know she has a boyfriend and she hasnt broken up with him, then its extremely disrespectful on her part. not just to you, but to her boyfriend as well. if she is saying stuff to you, ask yourself what could she possibly be saying to him? Link to comment
AviatorsWork Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Damn...That's a really good point...I feel like such an idiot now Link to comment
slippkitten108 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 you shouldn't feel like an idiot. you have feelings for this person, therefore you are somewhat blinded by your feelings. Link to comment
AviatorsWork Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Thanks for all you're help slipp I'll go confront her about it tomorrow... Link to comment
l0vel0rn Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Oh boy, I wish I could tell you that girls stop playing this game when they become women, but honestly they do not. I understand exactly how you feel as I have been in a very similar situation before. There is nothing more frustrating than being sent mixed signals by someone. One minute they are flirting, telling you they like you and want to go out with you, the next they are denying that it meant anything and even acting like they were never actually trying to lead you on. It never ends, they play the game with you as much and as often as they can. They’re on, then they’re off, then they’re on again and finally off again. They really like the control, and you allowing her to have this effect on you simply feeds her narcissism. The best advice I can give is to run, run away as fast as you can and never look back. Trust me, there is nothing but emptiness, damaged self esteem and self image, and heartbreak down that road. She is playing with your emotions. There is no doubt about that and absolutely no excuse for it. She will continue to do it as long as you allow it. If someone has real feelings for you, they will be willing to follow through on them at some point. This means admitting they have them, and then doing something about them. If they tell you one thing and behave one way towards you one time, then flip 180 degrees later, walk away and never look back. Don’t give them a second opportunity to do it again because trust me, they usually will. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I still think she is playing mind games I didn't know she was so blatant about flirting. She doesn't know what she wants yet, which is SOOO common, especially for girls in high school. Try not to let it get to you too badly. It's hard, but if you keep your mind busy with your life, you will be soooooo much happier. She is going to end up screwed by playing more than one guy...if not now, then in the future. Link to comment
AviatorsWork Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Ehh...I was on my way to her house today...But I decided to call a couple of blocks before her house to let her know I was going to her house, and to tell her I needed to talk to her...Turns out she's at her boyfriends house...so yea that backfired miserably lol But yea, I told her I was on to her, and that she wasn't going to get to me this time. (all over the phone, whilst her boyfriend is more likely than not listening). She replied by denying that had ever played with me, yet again, and started -what I believe was- crying on the phone. I have no way of imagining what her and her boyfriend were doing..so keep in mind that what I thought was crying could have very easily been something else >.> Moving on...Yea...I think she was crying..On the phone....Because of What I was telling her...But nonetheless i think it was an act...So I just told her to stop and just hung up...so this is the start of my ignoring her....you think shes gonna keep trying to play? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 football should be more important than girlfriends....concentrate on school and your hobbies Link to comment
AviatorsWork Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Uh...Yea I feel retarded for posting on this again....but something happened today... I have this girl in 4th period, for music, and she was flirting with me...yet again, so I ignored her for a bit, but after about half an hour of continuous flirting, I lost my head and told her to go F*** herself, and that her mind games are getting old, then i walked out... She chased after me crying....saying she wasn't playing any game...that sound believable to anyone? >. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 take her to the mall, talk to her over an ice cream and get to the bottom of this Link to comment
mechie22 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Seriously dude give this girl the old heave ho. She is a cake eater and a game player, she is going to stay with her a-hole b/f and going to keep you hanging on by a thread so she can run to you everytime her b/f messes up. She can`t have you both and you cant keep giving her power. Its going to drive you crazy trying to chase this girl that will never give you the chance you deserve. Cut your losses, dont waste your breath and put you efforts into someone worth it. Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 this basically happened to me last year. my girlfriend left me for another guy, i was devastated, we got back 2 or 3 months later. i broke up with her a little while ago..taking her back was a big mistake. i'd just say let her go. we are young and there are plenty of girls out there. unless you really thing that you share something special with this girl, i say let her go. Link to comment
Bastions Girl Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I pretty much agree 100% with l0vel0rn. I just say forget about her and move on--you're in High School! This is the time to be testing the waters and dating so you can figure out what you're looking for in a girl! Don't waste your high school years pining over this one chick--it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and you don't have time to fool around with that. At the same time, I don't think you should be outright mean to her or anything, but definitely tell her straight up the next time she starts crying or flirting with you that she has a boyfriend and needs to show respect to that by not flirting with other guys. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to him...or fair to herself, for that matter. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.