Depression getting in the way of important life opportunities...

[lost1607307474]

I've been struggling with depression and self-injury since I was about sixteen. I've sought help from a variety of sources throughout the years, some of which have helped, but somehow I just always feel that heavy sting.

 

Right now I'm just really down, but I'm at a point in my life where I can't afford to be. I'm in my final year of a teaching degree. I'm supposed to be teaching high school students this year but how can I when I am so screwed-up myself? I just feel like I can't do anything, I just want to lie in bed all day and never get out. My relationship with my boyfriend is starting to crumble, as are my relationships with my family and friends. I know my university degree is going to go down the drain, too. I'm missing so many great opportunities all because of these horrid feelings that just make me want to stay in bed.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of feeling this way. I can't even eat let alone go to university and go to school and teach a class full of teenagers. I don't want this depression to ruin my life.

[gidget1]

The only thing that is motivating me right now is uni, because I spent so much goddamn money on it, and I'm finally in the course I want to do and is right for me. (Also it is a really good distraction that keeps me busy and gets my mind off everything that gets me down)

I think you have to find some motivation or something that genuinely makes you happy. Don't let everything crumble around you, I let that happen and sincerely regretted not putting in effort and being such a flake when I realised I had nothing much left but myself.

Do you know what's getting you so down?

[lost1607307474]

The only thing that is motivating me right now is uni, because I spent so much goddamn money on it, and I'm finally in the course I want to do and is right for me. (Also it is a really good distraction that keeps me busy and gets my mind off everything that gets me down)

I think you have to find some motivation or something that genuinely makes you happy. Don't let everything crumble around you, I let that happen and sincerely regretted not putting in effort and being such a flake when I realised I had nothing much left but myself.

Do you know what's getting you so down?

 

I can't really pinpoint what's getting me so down. A number of things I think that will sound stupid if I type them out.

 

I've paid for all of my university stuff already but I don't know if that's enough to get me through. I can't find anything to motivate me. All I can think about are the stupid troubles in my life that are never going to go away. And I don't see how I'm going to be able to teach high school when I'm so screwed-up... this is what is really unmotivating to me (since I'm studying teaching.)

 

I don't know. Thanks for the advice though.

[gidget1]

I can't really pinpoint what's getting me so down. A number of things I think that will sound stupid if I type them out.

 

I've paid for all of my university stuff already but I don't know if that's enough to get me through. I can't find anything to motivate me. All I can think about are the stupid troubles in my life that are never going to go away. And I don't see how I'm going to be able to teach high school when I'm so screwed-up... this is what is really unmotivating to me (since I'm studying teaching.)

 

I don't know. Thanks for the advice though.

 

I wish I could help but it's hard to overcome everything when you don't know where to start, yknow?

I guess what gets me out of a rut is just focusing on the things that I love, the things that bring me happiness. Sure there are days I feel utterly hopeless and like no one wants to be around me, all I want to do is lie in bed and be miserable, but I guess I've spent the last few years wasting time being miserable and feeling worthless, I am sick of being that person and I want to be someone with passion.

For me it is a choice. I lie in bed all day, make a billion coffees and smoke a billion cigarettes and feel like a waste of space, or I get up, do something I love that puts a smile on my face, make the most of my time. Retail therapy also works.

Good luck dear x

[lost1607307474]

Thanks so much for the help I just have to try my best to find the things that get me motivated and make it all seem worthwhile. xx

[stella74]

I don't see how I'm going to be able to teach high school when I'm so screwed-up

 

I don't know if this will help you feel better, but many teachers have problems! Also, helping other people will help you feel better about yourself. You don't need to be perfectly healthy to be good teacher. Just do the best you can. Your experiences will enable you to be a caring, compassionate teacher.

 

If you find you need extra support in dealing with your depression, talk to your school counselor. It's a free benefit of being a student! It sounds like you're going through a lot of stress right now and could use some counseling.

 

Every day when you wake up, think of something you feel grateful for. Then make a commitment to yourself to get out of bed even if you don't feel like it. Talk to your teachers too. Let them know you're having difficulties.

[top bloke]

lost....you have alot of good things going for you. Firstly ,you are young at 21.There is a life of learning and nice times ahead of you.

A degree in teaching is so close and is such an asset to help you in your financial future. Once you have it..there is very good job security so go for it. You know my wife has the depression as well and teaching in front of a classroom keeps the mind active . Its actually helps you to not think those negative thoughts because you will be teaching.

You posts show me that you are very switched on and it is a good thing that you are aware of your shift in frame of mind because you can start to turn things around straight away so they dont get bad.

As mentioned by other posters start thinking about things that are good in your life and make you happy.

Also realise that these are merely not real nuisance thoughts so dont pay them attention. I believe in you lost..it takes a good level of smarts to get so far in your studies..so you go girl!