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Death to cheesy romance novels


hers

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Yesterday I bought one of these sort of as a joke. The plot of the book sounded so stupid that I had to see waht it'd be like (it's called "Marrying the Virgin Nanny"--billionaire single father of a newborn needs a mom for his son, and the virgin, orphaned nanny needs a place to call home, so they set up a business agreement for her to always be in the baby's life).

 

Well i bought it, and yes, it's stupid, but now I'm invested and can't put it down.

 

Today I went to lunch alone and sat on the patio of a restaurant in a little shopping area and read the book. So reading this book about how these two are falling in love and watching all the happy couples stroll by holding hands in front of me, I became sad. Now I feel all desperate for love. And now I'm kicking myself for reading a cheesy romance novel.

 

Stupid.

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When I was in my twenties I would read the "bodice ripper" romance novels...usually set in the 18th or 17th century...late twenties dashing lady's man and 18 year old virgin. The plots were pretty much the same...he rescues her from something terrible, she is feisty and headstrong, he is devil may care...they bicker, they have a night of passion, they fall in love. Most of them are poorly written. Catherine Cookson wrote a lot of romance novels..not particularly well-written but the British created many period movies out of her novels and they were very well done.

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I do'nt even like romance novels. I've read chick lit and have a bunch of those books, but those are usually about empowered women who are fine with love if it comes but not hell-bent on having it. I don't know why I picked this one up. They're not even good.

 

The writer writes sentences like "Jason so did not understand" and I can't help thinking of a teenage girl's voice when I see sentences like that. This plot is so stupid but he loves her and she loves him and they have sex and they're all happy and oooooooohhhhhhh whyyyyyy

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Step One: Go outside

Step Two: Build fire pit

Step Three: Start fire

Step Four: Throw trashy novel in fire

Step Five: Smile as their happiness burns.

 

Or alternate steps:

 

Step one: put book in envelope.

Step two: write Jenn's address on front.

Step three: mail to Michigan.

Step four: Jenn reads book.

Step five: Jenn becomes depressed with me.

 

You best watch out or I'm gonna send it to you!

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hhahahhaa, my sister reads these romance novels like changing socks. lol. I dont understand her. Sooo cheesy to me and the only novels i would read with romance in it is Twilight , Eclipse etc..... also, bridget jones's diary etc.

 

 

Thats about it! Cant handle the DUke of this and the Duke of that seducing the Countess etc. Blahhhhhhhhh. Promps to u.

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hhahahhaa, my sister reads these romance novels like changing socks. lol. I dont understand her. Sooo cheesy to me and the only novels i would read with romance in it is Twilight , Eclipse etc..... also, bridget jones's diary etc.

 

 

Thats about it! Cant handle the DUke of this and the Duke of that seducing the Countess etc. Blahhhhhhhhh. Promps to u.

 

i don't like the fabio ones or the ones with royalty and the knight and shining armour. The one I'm reading is very modern day. Guy does nanny. Pretty common, I think!

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loll i was looking for a good non-cheesey romance novel to read... any rec?

 

Haha isn't that an oxymoron of sorts?

 

Check out "Burning the Map" by Laura Caldwell. It's not romance per se but it is somewhat. It's considered chick lit, which doesn't involve cheesy scenarios like the book I talk about in thread. I prefer chick lit over romance.

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Haha isn't that an oxymoron of sorts?

 

Check out "Burning the Map" by Laura Caldwell. It's not romance per se but it is somewhat. It's considered chick lit, which doesn't involve cheesy scenarios like the book I talk about in thread. I prefer chick lit over romance.

 

loll well, i dont know!

books like the time traveler's wife! that was non-cheesey but still romantic

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The chick lit genre is very much like romantic comedy movies. Burning the map is a great book about a girl who's about to start a career as a lawyer but goes to europe before that w/ her friends & it talks about their travels & friendship. I like it b/c it's not the "knight in shining armour" sort of thing, more about empowerment & doing what you can to make yourself happy. Hope you like it!

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  • 2 weeks later...
ah, but the romance novels never have the part where he's sitting in the basement eating chicken wings and drinking beer in dirty underwear, unshaven and burping and farting while watching sports on cable for hours on end.

 

Actually the above scenario is quite common in the male equivalent of the bodice ripper called the "homemade porno."

 

The next scene would have the entire local cheerleading squad come in and proceed to do cheering routines (with no panties of course), then immediately after the ensuing "wacka wacka, bowchicky bowbow" porno sex, they would bring him another beer, wipe the chicken grease off his chin, and offer to wash his dirty underwear and the rest of his laundry while simultaneously cleaning the house in the french maid outfits hidden in their pompoms as he continued to watch sports.

 

I estimate both the plots of the bodice ripper and the homemade porno are equally realistic.

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ah, but the romance novels never have the part where he's sitting in the basement eating chicken wings and drinking beer in dirty underwear, unshaven and burping and farting while watching sports on cable for hours on end.

 

remember that part when you get too misty eyed and romantic...

 

hahahaha thanks for that!!

 

I bought another one recently and read it. It took 136 pages to get to a sex scene, and there was only ONE sex scene. And it ended with a "will you marry me" scene, just like the virgin nanny one did (sorry to spoil it for you, jenn). I want the raunchy sex novels. Screw the romance!

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hahahaha thanks for that!!

 

I bought another one recently and read it. It took 136 pages to get to a sex scene, and there was only ONE sex scene. And it ended with a "will you marry me" scene, just like the virgin nanny one did (sorry to spoil it for you, jenn). I want the raunchy sex novels. Screw the romance!

 

GAH!!!!! kdjfklsadjfldskaf

I started reading it last night.

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