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I Think Today Is The Day


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I go home for Spring Break today. I spent most of this not going to any of my classes. I didn't even take a test that was scheduled. I was trying to make myself more resolved by feeling like school won't be worth returning to. As of now, I plan to go home, take off my coat, go to the bathroom and end my life. At the same time, part of me doesn't want this, which is why I'm here. I failed twice be for recently. I feel like I have everything straight now. Someone tell me how stupid this all is. Or don't. I don't exactly know. I just know that in twelve hours I plan to not be here any longer.

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I go home for Spring Break today. I spent most of this not going to any of my classes. I didn't even take a test that was scheduled. I was trying to make myself more resolved by feeling like school won't be worth returning to. As of now, I plan to go home, take off my coat, go to the bathroom and end my life. At the same time, part of me doesn't want this, which is why I'm here. I failed twice be for recently. I feel like I have everything straight now. Someone tell me how stupid this all is. Or don't. I don't exactly know. I just know that in twelve hours I plan to not be here any longer.

 

I think you need to go have an immediate session with the campus counseling service.

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You don't want to do this, you are going to hurt every person that knows you in your life. Even a stranger like myself would be crushed to hear someone had to take their own life. You need to talk to us, anyone that could make you feel differently.

 

No one can stop you but you. Anyone can tell you things will get better...it's easier said than done but trust me, take one step at a time.

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First of all ill point out that suicide solves nothing but causes pain to all those you love, and it is unfair punish them because they have not done anything wrong. Secondly you do need professional help asap. thirdly Something that most people dont realise is that the majority of bad things in their life are fixable, if you dont like your course for example you can switch, if you feel like you have no friends then take up a hobbie you enjoy join a club of people who also like that hobbie.

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Part of you doesn't want this - Please focus on that.

 

I had a date set in August 1992 but changed my mind. Although I've had lots of truly bleak times since then I've also lived through the amazing experiences life has to offer.

That's why I didn't go through with it - I realised I had no way of knowing that there was no future out there worth living for.

 

Please, please listen to those doubts.

 

Andy

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What is it about your life that you dislike so much apart from school?

 

I think you need to talk to a professional as soon as you can. I don't know much about your story. Do you live with your parents?

 

Everything about my life. I've pretty much lived from on rejection to another. Whether it was my parents, friends, or anything else, the underlying theme seems to always be, "you're not good enough."

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You don't want to do this, you are going to hurt every person that knows you in your life. Even a stranger like myself would be crushed to hear someone had to take their own life. You need to talk to us, anyone that could make you feel differently.

 

No one can stop you but you. Anyone can tell you things will get better...it's easier said than done but trust me, take one step at a time.

 

Ha ha ha, I'm sorry to tell you this but honestly, the people in my life would suffer a minor inconvenience at best. I want so much to see things differently. I've been trying so hard for the past 4 or 5 months to pull myself out of where I am but things have done nothing but get worst.

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If that is the case then surround yourself by people who think you are good enough, i dont know if your a religious person or not but if you spend time at church functions and what not, most of those people are positive and supportive of one another.

 

Dont go off the standards others set for you but go off the standards you set for yourself. No one can knock you for that

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Part of you doesn't want this - Please focus on that.

 

I had a date set in August 1992 but changed my mind. Although I've had lots of truly bleak times since then I've also lived through the amazing experiences life has to offer.

That's why I didn't go through with it - I realised I had no way of knowing that there was no future out there worth living for.

 

Please, please listen to those doubts.

 

Andy

 

I had a date of October 13th. I tried and failed. Since then I've tried to pull things together and have had nothing but more loss. I've had people leave me since then. I've had people die. I've had people blame me. I don't know why I shouldn't. I don't have any reason not to. The future has shown me anything worth trying to stick around for. Maybe some people really are supposed to die. I just don't know...

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I go home for Spring Break today. I spent most of this not going to any of my classes. I didn't even take a test that was scheduled. I was trying to make myself more resolved by feeling like school won't be worth returning to. As of now, I plan to go home, take off my coat, go to the bathroom and end my life. At the same time, part of me doesn't want this, which is why I'm here. I failed twice be for recently. I feel like I have everything straight now. Someone tell me how stupid this all is. Or don't. I don't exactly know. I just know that in twelve hours I plan to not be here any longer.

 

 

Forget about school and the tests- you can always get an "Incomplete" for the courses and finish them later- if needed. Don't let school contribute to your decision in any way. Your health is what matters most.

 

If you are feeling this bad, I think you should call your local Samaritans organization. link removed They should be able to provide advice about where you can go, off campus, for help. (Not sure where you are but that link has a toll free number for the U.S.)

 

You are brave for posting here, and I can tell that you know that taking your life is not the solution to this. If you are feeling this much despair, I think it's time to take a step away from everything for a while, and get the help you need to feel better. Maybe consider some type of residential program, a mental health vacation of sorts, where you can just get away from every body, and every thing. It's very hard to combat depression alone.

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I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm about to head home. I'll know what to do once i step off the bus. Thank you everyone. either I'll let you know what happened or I won't. Thank you.

 

Everything that's got you down can be fixed, but only if you give yourself an honest chance. There is no shame in being overwhelmed, it happens to the best of us, we are all subjected to the human condition. A mental health professional will be able to understand and help you, please don't give up before you pursue every available alternative. Thanks.

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I couldn't do it. I sat for an hour and I couldn't do it.I hate this. I'm split in half. I want so much to end this. To stop feeling like this, but then I can't mind the heart to do what it takes. SO, I end up where I am now. I live on, just miserably. I'm emotionally and socially bankrupt. I don't know how long this stalemate will last. Something has to give sometime. I have to find some peace somehow.

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Hey- it's SOOOOOOO good to see you back here, posting.

Something has to give sometime.

 

 

I agree. I really think you need to actively seek out some therapy- you really should give the Samaritans hotline a try. I think it will change the course of your future.

 

So you are on Spring break now? What are your plans for the upcoming week?

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If anything call the SUICIDE HOT LINE and talk to someone. Please don't do this. CALL ANYONE. If not someone that knows you, then someone you don't know. Sometimes when you talk to someone you don't know and here there voice then maybe you can relate to what they are saying more than someone you do know. Like here for instance, just keep telling how you feel so we can help you through this. We will listen.

 

Please call a DR. Talk about this. Your feeling's is what matters here

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