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How do I learn to trust?

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I'm 24 years old. I was neglected by my parents and left home alone alot until I was old enough to go out by myself. Like, they always told me they would be home when I woke up in the morning but they would often not be there. I recently got out of a on/off relationship that lasted almost 8 years.


Now I find myself unable to trust anyone! I only realized this recently after the breakup. I started to think that I couldn't trust her anymore and this led me to thinking about my entire life of not trusting people leading all the way back to how I couldn't trust my parents.


When I meet new people nowadays, I immediately start off not trusting them. I'm even realizing that I don't even really trust my close friends. Not just in terms of real, serious stuff; but I'd doubt even the casual stuff like 'man, I woke up and drank 2 cans of pepsi this morning'.


I think this is a problem that's making it hard for me to build serious relationships with anyone! It also seems like it's some form of paranoia! How can I learn to get over this and trust people?

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you're doing it. ask for help. interact with people. if there is someone in your life that you feel you CAN trust...i'd suggest opening up.


kind of in a similar situation myself. i'm not sure it's a trust thing...but whatever it is...it's inhibited my ability to open up...to anyone.


it's hard to find a place to start...but i think acknowledging the problem is the first step. you're willing to get to the bottom of it...you'll find the answers you're looking for with time.

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Take smart chances. Observe people from a distance before getting too involved. You can be friendly, but you dont' have to tell them everything and trust them. Again, you dont' say it to them that you dont' trust them, just keep it to yourself.

But remember, at some point, you have to take a chance of trusting your gf, trusting your friends, trusting your co-workers. Give them a chance until they prove you wrong. What its true, even smart people have been proved wrong. Thats just life. You fall, you learn your lesson, you learn from your mistake. You don't repeat the same mistake. You make new mistakes. You fall, you learn, you get back up.

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Thanks for the responses!


I think part of the problem lies in when I DO trust, I tend to be too generous to the point where I'm stupid. This probably leads to people taking advantage or me getting hurt.


I'm pretty introverted and I do always try to find the reasons that lie behind my actions or the way I feel. I feel like I know what's wrong with me alot of times but correcting them is another issue.


As for 'trusting' online here, I think I'm only able to do it cuz it's pretty anonymous. If we were all sitting together in a room, I doubt I'd be able to talk anywhere near how I write...

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