Am i a Douche Bag??

[mikethemike]

Ok, here's the deal! Let me know if you think i'm a douche bag!

 

I moved over to the USA at the end of August. Before i moved over here, i was seeing a girl. We were very close and were developing a real bond, but were both ready to let it go and move on.

 

So i came over here single, to all intents and purposes. On my second night in the country, i went to a bar with some new friends, got very drunk, kissed a girl and ended up spending the night at her place though we didnt sleep together. Nothing has happened between us since.

 

Since then, me and this girl from back home have been getting closer and closer, gradually deciding that we couldn't bare to be apart like this, so we have kinda fallen into a long-distance relationship. The problem was there was no real "start date" as it were. We didn't suddenly decide one day that we were a couple, and now i'm wondering if i cheated on her?

 

I mean we certainly weren't in a relationship when i moved over here, or on that night when i kissed this girl.

 

Am i a douche bag? Did i cheat on her? Do you think i should tell this girl?

 

Just a bit confused. What do you think?

 

Thanks

 

Mike

[ponyboy]

How long were you "seeing" her?

And what exactly does that mean lol?

[Sparkly Eyes]

you said yourself you were single when you did it, so no you did not cheat on her, you might be a douche bag tho, jk

[HeartGoesOn]

Since you both decided to "move on, and let go", I wouldn't say you were in an exclusive relationship.

 

Also, for the exact same reason, I would not call that cheating.

 

Take care...

[bms85]

no you''re good man... if you're that worried about it tell her the truth. its not like you slept with the other girl... but personally i wouldn't sweat it at all.

[annie24]

no, i don't think it was cheating.

[dreamwarrior]

God these words are so funny ...that phrase "douche bag"...lol...I don't hear that used in the states...haha and, no your not btw..it's okay.

[wantstobhappy]

OK, you were not in a relationship so you didnt cheat, you didnt even sleep with her! all guys are essentially douche bags so its ok. but you seem like a pretty good guy dude so just chill out man.

[CAgirl]

Nope, you didn't cheat. I wouldn't stress about it.

[mikethemike]

Wow! Thats some fairly prompt replying! Thanks guys! I don't know, i think i may tell her because we both said that we'd be 100% honest with each other if we were going to start a long distance relationship, or it just would have no hope of working. Its been playing on my mind for a while, but deep down i knew i didn't cheat on her, but its nice to have my feelings confirmed by objective observers.

 

Thanks guys

[hear_her_roar]

If you came here single and considered yourself to be single when you hooked up with the other girl, then it's not cheating. You both knew that you weren't together, and since it happened before you fell back into the relationship, I wouldn't worry about it. However, it might be good in the long run if you tell your girl about the hookup, just to be honest. Finding out about things like that years later rarely impresses a woman.

[Bruntz]

you're not a douche bag and technically you didn't cheat.

i can see how you feel bad about it. because you cared for the girl but was with someone else.

[FeelingWoozy]

Definitely think you should tell her, cos if it was me I'd want to know & as hear_her_roar said, it's better than finding out later. Otherwise she can say "If it meant nothing, why didn't you tell me?!". Plus, I like to think honesty is always rewarded, even if not immediately. It's nice to know there are still guys who have a conscience about this kind of thing