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Today is my ex's birthday. We've been apart over a year now and Ive been telling myself that I will not call/text him about it this year since he didnt acknowledge mine in Dec. (I called him about his this time last year mainly cos friends said I should and he was very surprised and went on about how he didnt think I would and was happy to hear from me blah blah) so him not calling me on mine really annoyed me.(we've had no contact since June)

 

So I dont know why despite telling myself I will not bother anymore, half of me is now like "by doing this you're being immature, be the bigger person"

 

am I crazy or what the hell

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Hey,

 

I think its completely normal to recognise events in the year when you had a loving relationship.

 

I think time does make things easier but part of that love and missing him never goes away. It just dulls in severity.

 

Congratulations on NC from June- your an absolute inspiration!

 

Can I ask how long you had gone NC previously? Had you tried and failed a few times or just went for it head on? Also what was your relationship like before NC? Had you just split up or did you maintain contact and have heated conversations for a while?

 

Sorry for all the questions it would just be great to know your circumstances and how you found the inner strength.

 

I think that is what a lot of us on here struggle with.

 

Good luck with your healing xx

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Hey,

 

I think its completely normal to recognise events in the year when you had a loving relationship.

 

I think time does make things easier but part of that love and missing him never goes away. It just dulls in severity.

 

Congratulations on NC from June- your an absolute inspiration!

 

Can I ask how long you had gone NC previously? Had you tried and failed a few times or just went for it head on? Also what was your relationship like before NC? Had you just split up or did you maintain contact and have heated conversations for a while?

 

Sorry for all the questions it would just be great to know your circumstances and how you found the inner strength.

 

I think that is what a lot of us on here struggle with.

 

Good luck with your healing xx

 

Apology NOT accepted LOL. Just saying you should NOT be apologizing

 

The reason NC went on long is cos for the most part Im such a "proud" person. Not good proud but "omg I can never have a guy see me so weak" way. So it was like if I dont hear from you, you wont hear from me. I guess I just dont like being vulnerable much. I strongly believe people really tend to take advantage of that. It's a good thing for NC,(makes you too proud to contact the person and keeps you focused on NC) just not other aspects I guess

 

The time I knew I was actually crazy proud lol was when my best friend died last year Feb. I didnt call him at all. Even now I cant believe I did that. I wanted to, he knew her and all. I hadnt heard from him since we spoke New Year last year and I didnt feel I should "use" this situation to contact him, I wanted him to be there thru the grieve but I refused to call him. Sometimes I wish I did, sometimes Im glad I didnt.I think the man reason was cos

 

1. I had fought with her over him, as in she wanted us back together so she would plan to get us together randomly and mention some stuff ive told her just to get us to discuss. I thank God everyday that we made up over this before she died.

 

2.She had seen him a few weeks(mid Jan) before she died and she asked him about me and he lied and said we were working things out and he was even gonna call me in a few hrs. That night she called me saying how happy she was that we were working on it and pretty much found out that he flat out lied. That time we hadnt spoken since Dec.

 

Either way I called him a few months later for his birthday and that's whne he was like he was surprised to hear from me, glad I call blah blah and I told him about the my friend's death and such and he couldnt believe I didnt tell him/invite him to the funeral. He demanded that we meet up and we did. We talked and stuff, really the whole thing was weird and it turned out he had planned stuff for that night anyway, after like an hr or so, he told me he was meeting with some people (girls), he walked me to my train, said we should see a certain movie sometime (Persepolis - we've both film buffs).

 

I didnt hear from him again then mid april, I was in the city and bored (he lives in teh city, I live upstate) and I texted some dumb random text of "what's the weather like over there" and he'd text me back with the temp and ask me if I was coming down there, I'd say Yes and he'd suggest we meet up. This happened like 3 times(I always made it that he was the one aksing to meet up) and it was never longer than 40 mins, at most an hr, he'd mention how he had to meet up with people, or go to someone's place for dinner, blah freaking blah and I got tired of it and stopped it. Never texted him again, nothing

 

I was sick of putting effort and sick of fooling myself.

 

Really for NC to really work. You have to have an ego. Keep telling yourself, why should I be the one to contact, he knows my bloody number or where I live. If he wants to talk to me, nothing is stopping him.You have to fear that any contact frm your side will make you look weak to him. Been working for me so far and Im glad I didnt fall and call him on his birthday. He obviously didnt care about mine, so why should I care about his. In other words to "hell with him"

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Hey,

Can I ask how long you had gone NC previously? Had you tried and failed a few times or just went for it head on? Also what was your relationship like before NC? Had you just split up or did you maintain contact and have heated conversations for a while?x

 

Forgot to mention in the beginning of the breakup, after I had gotten tired of the fake "lets be friends" garbage, I told him I was going NC. Exactly a week later, he left me a voicemail begging me to call him and he really wanted to talk to me. Turned out that whole week of NC, he stalked my job (I was working in the city then) and he always missed me as I was leaving work. I called him back and he begged to see me, I finally accepted and he was going on about missing me and how he went on a date (wow within a week) and couldnt stop thinking of me and wanted to work things out blah blah. anyway I made a mistake and didnt really made him work towards thing, I just assumed that we could just get together again, days later, we argued and i left. few days later, he aksed to see me, mentioned how we should "date" and I said No and turned to leave, he grabbed my legs and grovelled literally but I just told him that I will always love him and left.

 

Til this day I dont know if he meant we should start like we're just started dating OR he wanted to date other people as well. Still bothers me sometimes that I didnt make him clarify. Perhaps I just wanted to have a dramatic exist. Lmao which I did. I dont know.

 

anyway everything else i mentioned in the previous post happened after all this.

 

Lord knows I wish I had found ENA the day we broke up so I would have done NC immediately instead of the friendship crap

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You did the right thing. Good work and be proud of yourself!

 

Hey Rap. How are you dear? Yea Im proud that I didnt fall. Im the first of 3 kids so sadly I always weigh the whole "be the bigger person" crap in my head. It's annoying. Im glad I stuck to NC. It would have been so dumb and awkward anyway

 

You ok? whats going on at your end?

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