CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Well some of you know about me and my long term boyfriend. I was going to break up with him because in general he is very irresponsible. Well since I talked to him he told me he wants to stay together and he wants to do better and be more considerate of cleaning up after himself and just overall. Well one of the things that bothered me was that his car is not registered, he has no insurance or tags on his car but he drives. This is the only way he can get to work. I am so scared everyday he goes to work because I'm afraid he will go to jail. He told me he would call on Monday but he still hasn't called to figure out if he can make arrangements or figure out what needs to be done. We really don't have much money (I was laid off but I am looking for a job and I get some unemployment benefits )so even if they did tell him to do something he might not even be able to pay it all at. I'm so worried, what should I do? Has anyone been through this before? He is working and I get unemployment but we don't make a lot of money. Should I keep telling him to call, I mean I don't want to nag but I can't keep worrying about it. What if one day they get him and then we have to use our rent money or something to pay. We will be so broke and dead in the water. So much drama. He has been doing really well with showing me he wants to do better but this one thing is so scary. I don't him to get in trouble and us to be stuck in a bad situation. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I doubt he would go to jail unless he has outstanding warrants or is driving on a suspended license. I see you are in Cali and I know for sure that if he gets pulled over and doesn't have valid tags or insurance, the car will get towed. It's extremely costly to take a car out of impound and he will have to pay additional fines in court. It would actually be cheaper to get what he needs now before the inevitable happens. Link to comment
hers Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 has he called to see how much it is to get insured, a tag, and registration? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 His license is suspended He called back in October and he claims they didn't have a warrant out for him and that it was sent to collections but I think he misunderstood what they were saying. I don't think they send you to collections for not having insurance. He hersmudders he still hasn't called yet, he said he would call this past Monday but when I ask him everyday if he called he keeps saying that he's too busy at work trying to make sales and make money he seems stressed....I feel like telling him to do it or else but that seems wrong. I actually feel bad for him this time around. I don't want his car to be taken away. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 His license is suspended He called back in October and he claims they didn't have a warrant out for him and that it was sent to collections but I think he misunderstood what they were saying. I don't think they send you to collections for not having insurance. He hersmudders he still hasn't called yet, he said he would call this past Monday but when I ask him everyday if he called he keeps saying that he's too busy at work trying to make sales and make money he seems stressed....I feel like telling him to do or else but that seems wrong. I actually feel bad for him this time around. I don't want his car to be taken away. Having his car impounded is the least of your worries now. You said he has a suspended license, which means big trouble if he is caught driving. What did his license get suspended for, do you know? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 Not having insurance or not showing proof of insurance something like that. Its just a big mess because he bought the car off of someone last year and the tags expired this January so I don't know how that works but I think that if they pull him over they will take the car and arrest him because the pink slip isn't in his name or something? I'm not sure but I'm getting angry just thinking about how messed up this all is. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Not having insurance or not showing proof of insurance something like that. Its just a big mess because he bought the car off of someone last year and the tags expired this January so I don't know how that works but I think that if they pull him over they will take the car and arrest him because the pink slip isn't in his name or something? I'm not sure but I'm getting angry just thinking about how messed up this all is. You should be angry because he is lacking the basic responsibilities of being a law abiding driver. He probably doesn't want to hear how much it is going to cost him to correct this mess and therefore is putting it off. In the meantime, if he happens to get involved in any kind of accident even minor, it's going to be an extremely costly expierence. Judges don't show a lot of mercy with things such as this especially if he's had the opportunity to get it straightened out and has chosen not to. Can he just park the car and take the bus for now? Link to comment
uofagirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Oh man...he needs to NOT be driving. Is there anyway you can drive him?? Or use public transportation? I live in CA also and I used to work for an Insurance company. I'm sure you already know this but you have to have insurance BEFORE you can get registration it is now the law. And you say his license is suspended? Considering he is driving on a suspended license, has no registration, no tags, he mostly will be arrested and have the car towed. He needs to get on this before the hole he's already in gets deeper! Link to comment
hers Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I was driving along one day & was ticketed b/c a cop was riding behind me & noticed my tag was expired. They don't mess around. They will arrest him if he's pulled over. Bail, court costs, & paying to get the car out of impound costs a crapload more than tags & insurance. Maybe you should let the air ouit of a tire when he's asleep tonight. Then he will have to get a ride or take the bus & can't drive. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 I'm going to have to talk to him today and tell him that I need him to get this cleared up once and for all. I'm not going to be looking running around crazy when he gets arrested, I shouldn't have to since we can atleast try to take care of it. If he looses his car thats his own fault. I'm going to try not to worry myself too much. I will have to talk to him about this tonight though. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I was in court once on a different type of matter and I sat in the court listening to the judge lash out at the offenders. The fines he was imposing was crazy. He made it clear that anyone in violation of the insurance law at the very least was going to be fined 3 times as much as other traffic offenses. This was a few years back and the fines at that time were close to 1500.00 dollars just for the insurance violation. I don't know if it has changed much since then or how much higher the fines can go if the judge adds other violations as well. Tell your bf to park the car and take the bus. In the meantime he can start paying down some of his fines to get that license cleared. Link to comment
hers Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Can he take the bus or get a ride to work? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Can he take the bus or get a ride to work? I can give bus information if she's in southern cali. LOL Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 hersmudders he basically doesn't want to ride the bus, I try to give him a ride and he won't he wants to drive himself. He's so dumb when it comes to this type of thing, I just want to smack some sense into him. What do I do? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 hersmudders he basically doesn't want to ride the bus, I try to give him a ride and he won't he wants to drive himself. He's so dumb when it comes to this type of thing, I just want to smack some sense into him. What do I do? Please don't take this the wrong way....... He doesn't want to ride the bus and I don't want to pay higher insurance premiums because I have to get additional coverage because of uninsured drivers. It's not fair to anyone, including yourself who do the right thing. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 I know, I need to get through to him, or tell him to screw it! I'm only trying to help him and if he doesn't want to do whats right, I can't deal with it. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I know, I need to get through to him, or tell him to screw it! I'm only trying to help him and if he doesn't want to do whats right, I can't deal with it. He doesn't drive your car does he? Don't let him! Would you be willing to call around and get the ball rolling for him....Maybe he just needs that nudge.... Link to comment
hers Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Let the air out of his tire. I'm so serious. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 HELL NO HE DOESN'T DRIVE MY CAR.. I'm not that crazy You think I should really let the air out? He probably would just put more air in lol...I was thinking of just calling for him while he is at work...do you think they would let me if he gives me his information? Is this something to break up with someone over? There is always something going on in this damn relationship I swear, he is acting so nice and trying but now I have this to worry about too. I just want things to be normal and okay you know? ugh Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 HELL NO HE DOESN'T DRIVE MY CAR.. I'm not that crazy You think I should really let the air out? He probably would just put more air in lol...I was thinking of just calling for him while he is at work...do you think they would let me if he gives me his information? Is this something to break up with someone over? There is always something going on in this damn relationship I swear, he is acting so nice and trying but now I have this to worry about too. I just want things to be normal and okay you know? ugh I don't know if it is a good reason to break up....sounds like you already have some other issues that you are dealing with regarding your relationship.... Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 yup and they all basically boil down to him being irresponsible Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 yup and they all basically boil down to him being irresponsible Some people just don't know how to be responsible. I'm teaching my 23 year old daughter how to be responsible about things. She's 23 for pete's sake! I find that if I start the ball rolling for her, she is able to finish the task off. Sometimes the person just needs to be gently pushed in the right direction. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 Well I'm gonna have to push him over the edge. LOL! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 well i'm gonna have to push him over the edge. Lol! lol............. Link to comment
Dubi Doo Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I think if it's something he told you he was going to get better at, and he doesn't get better at it, then you have every right to break it off with him(with regards to the whole irresponsible thing). I know if I had a GF who wasn't being responsible, and knew it bothered me, and did little to nothing about it; I'd break it off with her. What is wrong with this guy?! He knows that A) You two don't have a lot of money, so it would be tough to afford the tickets and getting the car back B) His car will get towed and he'd be forced to ride the bus anyways C) And probably most important to you; This is something that worries you and he does nothing about it. He just keeps putting it off knowing that you worry about it a lot. It seems pretty selfish, lazy, and irresponsible to me. This would annoy me to no ends. Especially since he said he would work at it. I think you should slap some sense into him hehe... Link to comment
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