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Feel really sad. Venting


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Hey all,

 

Just venting here, i feel really sad at the moment. Feels like nothing is going my way and my self-esteem feels like it's at an all time low. I feel powerless to stop my head and heart thinking of people who have emotionally hurt me. I have realised big time i have huge co-dependency issues, which at the moment seem crippling. I can't let go of people even when they treat me with disrespect or hurt me... i still end up loving them.

 

Like i say, just having a vent. Feel low. I wish i knew how to lift my self-esteem. I need to start valueing MYSELF above anyone else for a change.

 

Feel like the loneliest guy on earth right now... and feel guilty for wallowing in self-pity when there are others so much more worse off than i am.

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I was recently in a place very similar to you. What helped me was setting some goals for myself and doing things to get closer to it. For me, it was investing myself in my school work, working towards my phD, going to the gym, getting a dog, drawing. There's a lot of things you can do that will kick-start your enjoyment of life again. Take stock in yourself and your ability to make yourself happy. That is the hardest thing to do--but also the most satisfying.

If you value yourself, people will be less likely to step all over you, because they will be able to sense that you will not take that kind of treatment.

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Thanks. This is where the problem lies... I don't value myself and repeatidly give people the benefit of the doubt and believe as i am nice to them, they will treat me in a similar fashion.... which doesn't seem to be true at all!

 

I'm a real believer of treating others the way you'd want to be treated, but when i DON'T get treated that way, i still end up giving chance after chance and belieiving in them.

 

Just a bit sick of it and really ranting now. LOL.

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Thanks. This is where the problem lies... I don't value myself and repeatidly give people the benefit of the doubt and believe as i am nice to them, they will treat me in a similar fashion.... which doesn't seem to be true at all!

 

I'm a real believer of treating others the way you'd want to be treated, but when i DON'T get treated that way, i still end up giving chance after chance and belieiving in them.

 

Just a bit sick of it and really ranting now. LOL.

 

You have a good reason to be sick of it which is why you need to tweak a few things about yourself to make life be better.

 

What exactly has happened to spark this horrible feeling of yours? The first thing I would consider doing is "cleaning the closet" of people who are treating you badly. I'm doing that right now with a couple friends I have who love to treat me like crap. Just between you and me, they're on their last voyage of redemption because we keep going around and around the same tree. This is their last chance. Maybe you should do something similar?

 

To me, you seem like the kind of person who is too nice for his own good. It's okay to be nice, but you need to be aware of the times where some people just can't be reached and be responsible for your own emotions. Stop letting people make you feel bad. In the end, what do they really control about you?

 

NOTHING.

 

The best part about it is that their attitudes allow you to determine whether or not their friendship (or any sort of association) is worth your effort.

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Hey wolf,

 

i am too nice in some respects. Well basically, my long term gf left me a year ago after nearly 4 years and i'm STILL reeling from that, wasn't a particularly bad break-up (no infidelity) just Grass is greener on her part..

 

Also met another girl late last year who i treated really well, and she gave me the run around, led me on then ignored me for over 2 months.... then last weekend she got back in touch... me being "too nice" thought i'd give her the benefit of doubt and be nice back... end of the day, i know she isn't gf material but would enjoy being friends if she wanted.... but again it looks like she hasn't really changed, and now my feelings of rejection have kinda re-surfaced.

 

Nothing major has happened, i guess i'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself. I feel i have so much love to give and nobody wants it.... i should lavish this love on myself though!

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Ha! Dude, you're speaking to the choir!

 

Hang in there man. These things happen for a reason and I'm sure sooner or later, you'll find someone who gives you the love you deserve. Keep your chin up and be glad nothing happened from that new girl because it sounds like she's still got some growing up to do.

 

As for yourself, realize that sometimes you just feel crappy. It happens. I'm kinda like you in a way: I'm still getting over someone who left me much like that ex left you--and it's been almost a year and a half!

 

These things happen. Try to start doing "you" things and start working on "you" so that you can make yourself better for that next special someone who comes along. Remember, too, that you should never lower your standards. EVER. Not even if you're desperate or really lonely.

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I'm in the same boat too. All I can say is that the posters above have given some good advice. Since I split with my girlfriend, I went on a mission to spring clean and clear out the deadwood, whilst trying to make myself feel better. It is working, but some way to go yet.

 

Take it easy...

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