Prachi_Sri01 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I m a girl whose childhood wasn't tat good........... Now.......... This time......... I have become a very sensitive person... SOmetimes I m not able to do even wat i feel is reasonable........ I like 1 guy......... He likes me so much and very serious and committed towards me...... HE even asked me strictly.. not to blog and share my feelings vt him bec he doesn't want any distance between us.... ....I m living in his hometown ....................... Practically it was done so tat I vl be able to adapt to his environment.............. But many-a-times I find myself quite depressed........ too................. We have been in COllege together for 1 and half yrs............... Now I find it so difficult to manage vtout his prsence.................. AS I told he is working hard to establish himself vt in another 1 and half yrs so tat v can go to my parents............ But this involves a lot of sacrifices.................. Like living alone................ THere was a time wen v used to b toether full day......... Now my full day goes in the hostel waiting for him to come back........... And then also v are able to meet only for 1-2 hours................ I m going into depression, insecurity..... irritation... And wat not................ I m not able to accept the change tat has come in my life................... Knowing I shd not do like this I fight vt him.................. Feel like going back to my home............ Feel insecure abt my future.............. In my mind my parents' words start flashing that love marriages can never be successful.............. I m in utter depression.... DOnt know wat to do ............ I m currently living in hostel where i donot have any good frd.......... This is also adding to my frustration.......... ANd it is ultimately spoiling my rlationship vt him........... due to my nature......... Tat is becoming worse slowly......... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I really can't read your post with all the abbreviations........ Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 i agree..too much abbrev. try . space . space to start sentences too. then i'll read that. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I m a girl whose childhood wasn't tat good........... Now.......... This time......... I have become a very sensitive person... SOmetimes I m not able to do even wat i feel is reasonable........ I like 1 guy......... He likes me so much and very serious and committed towards me...... HE even asked me strictly.. not to blog and share my feelings vt him bec he doesn't want any distance between us.... what does this mean? Explain again ....I m living in his hometown ....................... Practically it was done so tat I vl be able to adapt to his environment.............. But many-a-times I find myself quite depressed........ too................. We have been in COllege together for 1 and half yrs............... Now I find it so difficult to manage vtout his prsence.................. AS I told he is working hard to establish himself vt in another 1 and half yrs so tat v can go to my parents............ But this involves a lot of sacrifices.................. Like living alone................ THere was a time wen v used to b toether full day......... Now my full day goes in the hostel waiting for him to come back........... And then also v are able to meet only for 1-2 hours................ I m going into depression, insecurity..... irritation... And wat not................ I m not able to accept the change tat has come in my life................... Knowing I shd not do like this I fight vt him.................. Feel like going back to my home............ Feel insecure abt my future.............. In my mind my parents' words start flashing that love marriages can never be successful.............. I m in utter depression.... DOnt know wat to do ............ I m currently living in hostel where i donot have any good frd.......... This is also adding to my frustration.......... ANd it is ultimately spoiling my rlationship vt him........... due to my nature......... Tat is becoming worse slowly......... Hello Prachi, well, I'm Indian too. try to write in simple, clear English b'coz there are a lot of non-Indian members here. You have too many dots in your post, it confuses the reader. - are you married currently to this guy? - how old are you? - do you have a job/are you still studying? - have you left your hometown and are currently in his hometown for studies? or getting accustomed to the weather/culture/lifestyle there? where do you guys stay? at his house or in a working woman's hostel? I think you are feeling lonely b'coz you are in a new place, you dont' have friends, may be you regret your decision to have left the comforts of your home trusting a man and nothing seems good like it used to before. Before you give us more information, - try to stay positive and try to think only about next step, one step-at-a-time. Don't overwhelm yourself, don't panick, don't give up yet. Not all love marriages fail (I know in India people believe that love marriages don't last long.) Every marriage has its fair share of trials. Hang in there. You and your husband can work your way together out of this. - try to stay safe wherever you are, do you have a cell phone?, do you have enough money? - I can only guess what are going through, but you are the best judge of your situation. If your safety is at stake, don't feel ashamed to call your parents and return to their place. Its much better than living somewhere scared & alone, all by yourself. - don't become clingy n smother your husband. Don't nag him. That will drive him away. If both of you are living together somewhere, its a new situation for him as well, right? Try to understand that. Take care, update us. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 i agree with others... i tried reading some of your threads... but man, its so difficult. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Tinu, from what I remember from her other posts Prachi is not yet married. She loves that guy but her family does not approve of the relationship. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 ahhhh Tinu, no offence but what kind of advice is this? People don't think about their families before falling for some one... I mean, I am not going to look at a girl, think "hmmm... well this girl will be approved by my family.. yayyyy... now.. she is attractive". Did you go out on dates after getting the approval of your family? Were the guys pre-screened by your family first? I feel it is unfair that you are trying to paint all men out there with the same brush... I know that the guys you met were jerks. Does not mean most men are the same. You are projecting your experiences onto someone else... That's not fair for the OP. The guy she is in love with loves her as well. The problem is her family doesn't approve him. Plz re-read this sentence from the OP: I like 1 guy......... He likes me so much and very serious and committed towards me...... HE even asked me strictly.. not to blog and share my feelings vt him bec he doesn't want any distance between us.... Link to comment
sosilver Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Heya "I like 1 guy......... He likes me so much and very serious and committed towards me...... HE even asked me strictly.. not to blog and share my feelings vt him bec he doesn't want any distance between us...." He doesnt want you to post online about what you are going through and he feels this creates distance between you both? Is that what you mean? Please explain Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 yes, gry, point noted. But I'd still say what I said before. I've read previous posts by OP. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 oh, okay, gry. Well, Prachi, if what Gry says is true, then you have to do some thinking - - why are you falling for a man that your family doesn't approve of? (I'm not saying this b'coz they think he is ugly n you have to eat Idli Dosa. Those are very superficial things.) The reason I say it is b’coz parents normally are our well-wishers. They want the best for you and b’coz they are outside the situation, they can see things clearer than you can. You mentioned in your previous posts that you are 24. Do you think you are mature enough to take marriage decision on your own? I know that many Indian girls do get married at that age, but most don't have a clear understanding of the world around them. May be I'm old fashioned, but you should at least consider if your parents have a valid point. - Please don't act stupid, fall for the promises the man makes and run away with him somewhere. Not all men keep their promises. Yes, I'm not sorry for saying this. You are young, feeling lonely, you like a man, you are in his hometown, you are in a vulnerable spot. I would certainly tell you to be careful. When women feel vulnerable, they do dumb things. Have you completed your MBA? Do you have a job? Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Heya "I like 1 guy......... He likes me so much and very serious and committed towards me...... HE even asked me strictly.. not to blog and share my feelings vt him bec he doesn't want any distance between us...." He doesnt want you to post online about what you are going through and he feels this creates distance between you both? Is that what you mean? Please explain Thats the meaning I get out of it as well. If that is true, its a controlling behavior. Every person has a right to call for help to help them through a rough process. If he doesn't understand that, its a rough road. But thats my opinion. OP, is in love, so she may not see that. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I would think that a woman of 24, tinu, should be mature enough to decide who the right man is for her without her parents making that decision for her. I do understand there are cultural differences, but it sounds like she would like to make some of her own choices. I applaud her for that. It would seem her main issue is that she doesn't have enough of her 'own' life to function when he isn't around. Prachi, try to find some hobbies and interests of your own so that you don't feel so dependent on him to be your everything. As for the blogging, he might feel funny if she is on a site that identifies her and him (like myspace or facebook for example) and his issues being shared in the open. I can understand that. Maybe he wouldn't be so upset about it if it is kept to anonymous forums like this one. I could understand not wnating an SO to blog about our issues all over the internet, i don't think i'd like that either if it wasn't anonymous. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 sure, she can take any decision on her own if she chooses to. She is legally an adult. No one can stop her. I'm not saying that she should listen to her parents. I'm only encouraging her to step back for a while b'coz she has these feelings of loneliness n frustration. She has written in her previous post how she feels about her family's feelings for the man and how aggravated she feels about the whole situation. I'm afraid she would end up making a wrong decision in the middle of all this. Link to comment
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