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Had a date with a very attractive girl tonight


Raistlin

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But.. she was very one-minded. She is vegan. No problems from me, but I am not vegan. She could not come to terms with the fact that I'm comfortable eating meat, but would do my best to respect her lifestyle choices.

 

That said, this will probably be the only time I meet her. On my way home, she told me that she's still not over her ex either. Well, that's not really a surprise. She mentioned him like 40 times in 3 hours.

 

*Sigh* At least I tried. 2 days of amazing conversation and flirting... all reduced to nothing due to her intolerance. I guess I'll just push on and hope that I meet someone that I really connect with.

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Raistlin, what's all this negativity? Don't always focus on short-term goals (e.g. getting into her pants, becoming her boyfriend in the next 2-3 weeks), think about what can gradually develop over time.

 

The fact that she's speaking so openly to you means she feels comfortable with you. This is probably more valuable than superficial attraction, which sometimes makes people avoid telling the entire truth. She could have pretended to think about you; instead, she is being honest with you and pouring out her feelings. I have learned in the past few months that open communication is vital for any kind of relationship. And you know what she needs, what is missing in her life, and what you might be able to give her, now or in 3 months.

 

I suggest you do some research into nutrition. You will soon find out why she has that stance towards you! But even if you don't care about your health and good food, I doubt that this would compromise the potential for an entertaining relationship.

Also arguments and debate are part of constructive interaction

 

Good luck whatever you choose to do!

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I'm not the one who's choosing not to see her again. She made it plain as day that she wont even be friends with anyone who chooses to eat meat. We chatted for 3 hours last night when we met, and the conversation always went back to how she doesn't respect anyone that chooses to eat meat or use any sort of product with animal components.

 

I told her multiple times that I can accept her choice and respect it, and would listen to everything she had to say about becoming a vegan - but I couldn't promise that I would become one. Basically I told her that I may choose to eat meat anyhow because I'm comfortable with my lifestyle, and while I don't disrespect hers, I wouldn't be forced into changing who I am for anyone.

 

She's the one who's choosing not to talk to me anymore, and by her words, she's "still heartbroken and totally in love with her ex" (exact wording from a text I got after I left).

 

I would be more than willing to hear her out and be her friend. I've got nothing against her. But she's choosing to be so intolerant that she told me she has no friends who eat meat because she can't accept their choice and refuses to. She's even lost respect for her own grandmother (again, her words).

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3 hours of "amazing" conversation equals her telling you she will pretty much never respect you & that she's still hung up on her ex. Hmm. Looks like you dodged a bullet. Keep your chin up. Something better will happen one day!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow, Sorry that this happened to you. I think thats totally bogus she's passing you by because you eat meat. Wow, such a damn sin gosh. So people have differences doesn't mean a friendship or more couldn't come out of it good God. Whatever its HER loss, you seem like a really nice guy and you totally deserve better then her anyway! Just throwin my 2 cents in

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I think it's awesome that she is standing up for her principles. I'm vegan too - although I'd date a meat eater but would hope that I could convince him to eventually give up eating meat at some point. How open are you to trying vegetarian food? Did you tell her that you didn't want to try any? Maybe it wasn't so much that you ate meat but you're stubbornness/adamance (sp?) to not being open-minded enough to try more veggie food. I mean, there's so much good stuff out there. I've got meat eating friends to try things like vegan bacon rashers, veggie burgers, soya milkshakes etc and they've all loved the stuff they've tried and many were inspired. She probably knew that if you were so adamant that you were going to keep eating meat it would cause a big obstruction between you and you would no doubt argue about it. I would at least want a guy who is open-minded into letting me introduce him to new food that he hadn't tried.

 

That said, shame she's not over her ex. I guess he's vegan, huh?

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I would say that there is nothing to be sad about. On the bright side you only spent two days of your time with this girl, and you know that she isnt interested. Remember that you will meet a lot of girls that the situation wont work out for whatever reason but unless something majorly goes wrong you need to view the experience as something positive because you go away learning from the situation. If there is one thing that I have learned is that there is always another girl.

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But.. she was very one-minded. She is vegan. No problems from me, but I am not vegan. She could not come to terms with the fact that I'm comfortable eating meat, but would do my best to respect her lifestyle choices.

 

That said, this will probably be the only time I meet her. On my way home, she told me that she's still not over her ex either. Well, that's not really a surprise. She mentioned him like 40 times in 3 hours.

 

*Sigh* At least I tried. 2 days of amazing conversation and flirting... all reduced to nothing due to her intolerance. I guess I'll just push on and hope that I meet someone that I really connect with.

 

Ugh I hate when vegans or vegetarians do that! Just bc you dont eat meat doesnt mean I cant enjoy a nice juicy steak.

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Yes, intolerance in this area = likely intolerance in other areas. Also, bringing up an ex so much on a first date says she is self-absorbed and socially inept. Good that you learned these things early on, keep working your plan, you will find someone of better quality than this one.

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Thank you everyone for your input. I had forgotten I wrote this thread until I clicked the wrong button and saw that there were more responses.

 

The girl ended up contacting me a few more times, each time apologizing that she's not over her ex and telling me I'm a great guy. That was really nice of her to do, but when I'd try to initiate a conversation, she'd stop responding.

 

Her ex bf was vegetarian. I told her that I've never had any experience with vegetarian or vegan foods, and I'm generally picky but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try it. Whether I actually liked it would be something different. That is when she started saying that she CAN'T date someone who isn't at least vegetarian, even after seeing the lifestyle and choosing to eat meat. She wanted to force me to change into something I'm not, even against my own will.

 

If she had given it time, I may have actually discovered I like vegetarian/vegan foods. Who knows? But to start hounding me about how I need to change to fit her standards on our first date... well, sorry; that's not going to happen. If I change something about myself, it will be for me. If it benefits someone else, great. I'm still me, and no one but me is going to dictate personal choices, such as what types of food I like.

 

To me, telling me to become vegan to make her happy is like forcing a religion on me, or telling me to change my sexual preference to make someone else happy. It doesn't work like that.

 

I've since forged on and gotten to talk to a few more girls. I've gotten a few numbers, but sadly, we just didn't have enough in common to pursue anything.

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