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Not entirely sure where this goes, but yeah.


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Well

Here I am again.

Guess what?

I'm NOT coping.

 

With anything.

I sink into deep depressive states so much lately, being distant, low, snappy, aggressive, a bunch of crap tbh.

I'm dealing with my eating disorder, I'm dealing with ADHD, I'm dealing with OCD, health anxiety, a goddamn alcoholic mother from hell who doesn't give a damn, doesn't care enough to try and understand what I'm going through, doesn't care enough at all.

 

I have baricated myself in my room.

I refuse to do anything anymore.

I have my GCSE's in 3 months, if that now, taking out holidays, much less than that.

I am struggling to get out of this house, get to school, anywhere.

I feel like an utter mess right now.

Everything doesn't make sense.

I'm completely lost.

I'm completely scewed up.

 

Someone please...

help me, somehow...

 

I hate this so much, but I can't bring myself to get out of this, I can't do anything, I'm trapped and I don't know how to get out of this goddamn mess!

 

(MOD's, if you feel this is appropriate elsewhere, do feel free to move it... I apologize for any inconvenience I cause)

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Hey sarey, I'm sorry to hear you're at a low right now. Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? It might help to talk to a professional about what you're feeling, especially since it sounds like you're facing many trials and tribulations at this time in your life. Even a school counselor or someone could probably offer some helpful advice. Keep your head up, it'll get better! *hugs*

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I think you're pretty bright.

 

You just have a temporary problem that may require some assistance to get you back on track.

 

You're 16 only. You should never burden yourself with a problem larger than you can handle.

 

Perhaps you want to take things on yourself. But problems similar to your situation do occur even when they're in their 30s or 40s. They're confused despite their maturity. So it's not your fault.

 

So concentrate all your energy tomorrow to go to your family doctor and ask your him/her for guidance to your temporary problem. Focus on expressing your concern on eating disorder.

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All of this feeling of inertia boils down to one word:

 

DEPRESSION.

 

It's classic depression, hun, and it's part and parcel of feeling lost and unsure, wanting to make progress but feeling it's hard, and generally just not having a strong vision for the future about where you life's headed.

 

Welcome to a big, big club.

 

And the way to deal with it in your case is to focus on the major things that are standing in your way, such as the eating disorder. Which you are getting visits about with the specialist, right? And there is a PLAN in place to move you even farther forward there, so just be patient with the process.

 

They're trying to expand your care still, right?

 

I also think you should have a talk with her about seeing a child psychiatrist and think about AD's, just for now....and you don't HAVE to take medications if you don't want to, but it would be something you could discuss your concerns about, if you saw a specialist who treats underage patients. I think at least you could have that discussion.

 

((hugs))

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