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Is there something wrong with me?


hear_her_roar
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So, I moved to a new city over seven months ago, and just started college this semester. I had met some friends at the job I was working at before college and loved to be around them at work, but there were only a handful that I enjoyed hanging out with outside. The thing is, I just never felt like I clicked with them, no matter how many chances I gave myself to get to know them and warm up to them. It's not that I don't like them... I just don't really feel myself around them, you know? Since starting school, the one girl I really got along with has become very busy, and I can't seem to get motivated when the people I used to hang out with ask me out. It's always in a big group, generally drinking, and I often find myself shy, which is very unlike me. It's just not my scene, I guess.

 

But the thing is, I don't mind it all that much. I live with my boyfriend and go for lunch with some classmates at least twice a week, and often visit mutual friends of Jon and I's outside of town on weekends. I have a very close network of friends in my hometown (which we're moving back to this summer) and am really tight with my family, and am starting to get to know my coworkers at my new job. So, it's not that I don't see anyone... I just rarely go out, and feel guilty about it, although I'm usually perfectly content to hang out on my own or with Jon. I don't feel like I need any more, and I often feel really apprehensive with hanging out with these "new city" friends... which I know isn't a good sign, if I don't even have the desire to be around them. I'm slowly breaking contact with them, some I haven't even spoken to for months... and I don't even notice half the time.

 

I'm not shy in the least, but it the culture in this city is very different from what I'm used to. EVERYTHING involves drinking (which I enjoy, just not as the only activity of the night, every night) and people aren't really into just hanging out and doing free things, it always has to be clubbing or going for dinner and what-have-you. It's like... I don't know, I try to make myself like it and make myself fit with these friends, but I just don't.

 

Is there something wrong with me?

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I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all.

I tend to be this way also but again, I've always been a home-body.

When I first moved the the city for school, I met knew people and made good friends. Went out, did the party thing ya know...but eventually it just got old and I wanted to be home with my boyfriend.

I still kept and went out with them on occasion.

And still do keep in touch with those certain few from the city and I am also very close to those certain few back home.

Just live your life. Live it the way YOU want to live it. There is nothing wrong with that.

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Nothing wrong with being too mature for a group of drinking buddies. Just stay friendly, make an occasional compromise when you can stand it so you're not burning bridges, and then just relax and trust your own instincts and preferences. Congrats on your self knowledge--it will always serve you well.

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Maybe it's a bit of culture shock you're experiencing. It can take a while to get used to a new place. I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all! It can't be easy being away from home. The good news is that big cities have lots of different things to offer so if you're not into the drinking scene, explore a bit and you'll find something (and people) that does interest you!

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