avalon24 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Do you snoop? Do you ever think snooping through your partners text messages or computer is okay? When? Why? What would you do if you caught your partner snooping on you? Let me state that I do make and exception to someone who is PHYSICALLY CHEATING and you are at risk of getting a STD from their actions as good reason to snoop. So please don't think I mean it that way. Link to comment
uofagirl Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I go through my husbands phone all the time. Psh. I don't care cause he knows I do it. It's not like I just grab his phone at random times to go thru it. I'll look thru it when I need to use it or whatever. He does the same. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I look thru my SO phone but its not snooping cause he knows I do it lol & I only look thru it if Im actually looking for something....like a phone number or pic etc..not to see what he's doing. I think snooping is fine if you have evidence or a gut feeling someone is cheating but you need more proof. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I don't think I ever have. I went through his facebook messages but he was sitting right next to me. I was just curious as to why he had 14 unread messages. I wasn't actually looking to see if he had been cheating or such. But, they were all spam messages. Link to comment
winchester3 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 We where at this point in our relationship where i was like "So i'm curious, are you the kind of person that has their dogs name as a password for their hotmail or somthing really elaborate". She showed me her pin for her debit card one time when we where shopping so we got to the topic of passwords (trust) and stuff of that nature. She wouldnt tell me her hotmail password, said that it was somthing personal that we shouldnt have to share. I was all like..... "Why is there somthing that you dont want me to see?" She said no but i was all like "Ok, now you got me curious. Whats the big secret.". She left her hotmail open one time after being at my house, so i had a look. It was nothing, why couldnt she share though?. So yeah i snooped. She accidently set her gmail to automaticaly sign in while using my computer, i told her about this and she got all defensive "NO DONT LOOK AT IT!!!!!" type of thing. I was pretty confused, why would it even cross my mind to look at your stuff. I was pretty sure that it was implied that we dont snoop around, theres no reason to. She told me that there was personal stuff between her and her best friend that she didnt want anyone to see because she promised her friend she wouldnt share it with anyone else. After almost every talk with her friend she would tell me all about it anyways. Next time i was at her house i set her msn to remember password, no big deal. I invited her to have a look at any time she wanted to. I ended up checking out her gmail only because she asked me not to. There was nothing that she hadent already told me. Some people eh? Whats the big deal? "There's nothing to hide if you always tell the truth" Link to comment
uofagirl Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 "There's nothing to hide if you always tell the truth" That's something I always tell me husband, haha Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I've never snooped in anyone business until I was told that my ex was cheating on me by several ppl. Then I did. I found much more then I thought I would. I found dating sites he signed up to. Web cam girls. Emails. Porn, and the weird stuff he did to the pic's in the paint program. I asked him if he was cheating (yeah, like he would tell me the truth lol) So I had to find out one way or another. Other then that...no. I don't. and never would again unless I had reallllly good reason to not trust. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 It seems to me that snooping would only be justified in the situation where a persons fidelity is in question and that person is only snooping to confirm the infidelity and break up with that person. If you snoop and refuse to break up with the person over the issue then you are snooping for reasons arising from insecurity. Everybody has a right to privacy and that needs to be respected. Having a right to privacy is not about hiding anything it is about respect for the other person. Telling the truth can lead to hiding things as well. If I found out that a girl I was dating looked through my phone I would break up with her right then and there. Link to comment
stingray Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I don't really like it but I am not the type to say something about it. Link to comment
shera Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 my b/f has given me his passwords and he knows I look through his stuff... Link to comment
lila... Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I would never snoop unless I had a very valid reason to. Otherwise it's an extremely disrespectful act and a total invasion of privacy. I would hope that whomever I'm with at the time is a very honest, communicative person and I wouldn't have to go as far as to snoop on him. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I think snooping can become a very bad habit too. The first time you do it, you crave to do it again. Link to comment
lila... Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 It is tempting, I've even had the urge to peak at my boyfriend's texts, not because I mistrust him...just curiosity but in the end you have to remember it is disrespectful and shouldn't do something you wouldn't like done unto yourself. Link to comment
littleladyluck Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 If I trust the guy, I don't need to snoop. The only times I've snooped I've actually found * * * * . It just feels so wrong. I'm really big on privacy and I would hate for him to do that to me you know? Even though I have nothing to hide. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 i have never snooped and never will have to...hopefully. Link to comment
EQD Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I think snooping can become a very bad habit too. The first time you do it, you crave to do it again. It feels so wrong.. yet so right.. lol i havent snooped in a long time. but i agree, it gets extremely addicting. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Ahhh, this old question....if I'm with a guy and we're not too serious and I have suspicions about him, I'd probably just dump him. I wouldn't bother with snooping. Now if we're married, or really serious and heading towards marriage and I had a reason to think he might be cheating, then I would do what I need to do to find out the truth. And that would probably entail snooping. I wouldn't just ask him, because most men wouldn't admit it, they'd just cover their tracks better. "Well since you asked, why yes, yes I am cheating on you." probably not gonna happen. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Ahhh, this old question....if I'm with a guy and we're not too serious and I have suspicions about him, I'd probably just dump him. I wouldn't bother with snooping. Now if we're married, or really serious and heading towards marriage and I had a reason to think he might be cheating, then I would do what I need to do to find out the truth. And that would probably entail snooping. I wouldn't just ask him, because most men wouldn't admit it, they'd just cover their tracks better. "Well since you asked, why yes, yes I am cheating on you." probably not gonna happen. Exactly true...snooping is never good of course but sometimes its needed just to give you more proof, prove you are "sane" & help you move on. If its a short lived relationship & I had a gut feeling & thought about snooping I would just consider that a red flag & give him the boot. :splat: Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 girl im dating uses my computer and she always keeps herself logged into her email and facebook...she's obviously not worried about it...but when i go it later i just log her out and sign myself in. i have no interest in reading her private messages and don't get why people who are in healthy relationships do it. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Exactly true...snooping is never good of course but sometimes its needed just to give you more proof, prove you are "sane" & help you move on. If its a short lived relationship & I had a gut feeling & thought about snooping I would just consider that a red flag & give him the boot. Yep, snoop if you have to, but knock it off if you don't find anything. Always keep your eyes and ears open in any relationship, but don't be a psycho. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I was with my ex for 11 yrs and never ever once snooped, I trusted him. He was showing signs of cheating on me and he denied it. I still didn't snoop, then it became more obvious so I snooped for the first time and found all love cards and motel room bills. Two yrs later, was with another guy, never snooped. One year into it, my instincts told me to snoop, I did and found out he was cheating. I stayed with him and snooped and found stuff over and over. Him and I ended it. Then with a new guy, never snooped. Then when we were having trouble, I snooped and found he was calling his ex every time we had a fight My conclusion, snooping makes one crazy, but a necessary evil. Most men (or the ones I know and date) are all lying/cheating pigs Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I went through his facebook messages but he was sitting right next to me. But, they were all spam messages. There is spam on FB? OP - I think if you feel the need to snoop, then either you feel your SO is doing something wrong, OR, that you're insecure. Either way - not good options or policy. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I use to snoop through my ex ex's things when I got wind that he'd been cheating...and man oh man at the stuff I found....hence why he's my ex.... Other then that, no, I didn't snoop before him. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 There is spam on FB? OP - I think if you feel the need to snoop, then either you feel your SO is doing something wrong, OR, that you're insecure. Either way - not good options or policy. They were from facebook groups he was in where they just send out the same "newsletter" style messages to everyone who is a member. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 They were from facebook groups he was in where they just send out the same "newsletter" style messages to everyone who is a member. Oh, gotcha. A good reason to not join groups on FB. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.