Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I've started talking with this guy about 2 months ago now. We've just started dating a couple of weeks ago. I was a little scared about the age difference because I'm 22 and he's 30 but I overlooked that. Anyway our relationship is still new. At first he would call everyday and we would just laugh and talk about all our issues or problems. He wanted to hang out with me 24/7 etc etc etc. Everything was fine. Now for the past week, he's been acting funny. I don't think I've said anything or did anything to make him mad. The phone calls have stopped, he doesn't even call or text me during the day to see how I'm doing anymore. Most of the time, I have to find myself calling him & sometimes we still talk but he seems rather distant. I asked him if there was anything wrong, he replied with quick nope type answers. I asked him if he still wanted to be in this relationship and he says things like of course I do blah blah blah. But he's not acting like we're dating anymore.. he treats me like I'm just his friend now. What really ticked me off last night was that I called him & he claimed he was sleeping. So I said, Oh I'm sorry babe.. didn't mean to wake you. So There was this awkward silence and I was trying to start a conversation. He basically replied saying he was bored. So I said.. oops didn't mean to bore you and I hung up the phone. He texted me saying he apologized but that he was just busy and he's tired a lot. So today I asked him one more time if he wanted to be in a relationship with me. He says yes & he had the nerve to get an attitude with me about it. He was like how many times to I have to tell you that I want to be with you etc etc. He asked me if I am that insecure. I told him that he's been distant but he claims he's busy.. No excuse not to keep in touch with me. I think I'm more invested in this relationship than he is.. Maybe I should just end it.. regardless. Link to comment
Always5683 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I think if you are having these types of issues so early into the relationship, you may want to really think it over and see if it is worth the trouble. Link to comment
uofagirl Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I think I'd get a little annoyed too if a guy I was seeing kept asking me if I was sure he wanted to be in a relationship. Once is cool, but after I say yes and they continue to ask I'd get annoyed. I think you should just take his word for it. If you can't, then yes I'd say end it. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 2 months in and hes acting like hes lost interest...maybe time for a new man who makes you feel respected and looked after.. You alsp have to realise that the initial stages of courtship do run on a high that comes down ..Why has he gone so cold? If hes worth it find out ..if not kick him to the kerb.. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 People have bad days/weeks. Give this guy a week or so...he might be stressed out about other things in his life, that he may not feel comfortable talking to you about...yet. You probably did nothing wrong or said anything wrong...but that doesn't mean that other things might be bothering him or stressing him out. If he continues it longer without an explaination then maybe rethink this relationship but I would give him the benefit of the doubt, first. If he was completely ignoring you, not answering text or calls..then I would say call it day but that's not the case. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 2 months in and hes acting like hes lost interest...maybe time for a new man who makes you feel respected and looked after.. You alsp have to realise that the initial stages of courtship do run on a high that comes down ..Why has he gone so cold? If hes worth it find out ..if not kick him to the kerb.. I agree. I've found that only 2 months in, and we still cant keep our hands off each other every second of every day! It's usually the honeymoon period where you're in total bliss! Unless. He's just not that into you. Link to comment
isthisused Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 It could be that hes already gotten from your relationship what he was really looking for, and now he wants to keep it available while hes looking elsewhere. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 This is what frustrates me. He was all eager to talk to me all of the time and call me because I didn't really like him like that at first. He used his charm and his wit and now I'm liking him a lot. Now, he has me crazy over him and he just switched on me suddenly. It hurts my feelings that he doesn't call me anymore like he used to. Like tonight, I'm trying to hold myself back but I want to see him make the initiative to talk to me. He sends me mixed signals.. I don't think he's into me as I thought he was.. he probably thought I was going to give him some or something. I would have been fine as his friend but I'm just mad at him that he did all this work to get me to like him and when we're finally somewhere, he basically treats me like nothing Link to comment
Creative Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 You and him are not good match. If he's bored, he should be with someone who can start drama. I don't suggest asking him if you guys are still together or not. I recommend telling him you guys are not. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 You and him are not good match. If he's bored, he should be with someone who can start drama. I don't suggest asking him if you guys are still together or not. I recommend telling him you guys are not. Hmm you're right I guess.. Sigh.. another failed relationship. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Hmm you're right I guess.. Sigh.. another failed relationship. Yeah, but if you're not getting out of it what you need...then next the fool, and find a man who will cherish you...and cant wait to spend time with you. I spent 9 long, and lonely years with a man who could care less about me. Thats a lot of time to waste being miserable. Time here on earth is short. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 i would back way off and see if he picks up the slack. but yeah, 2 months in - perhaps he's not into you? Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 i would back way off and see if he picks up the slack. but yeah, 2 months in - perhaps he's not into you? I think he's not into me as well.. He probably felt that way after talking for a while & after we went on a couple of dates. I just think he's afraid to tell me he's not interested. I even told him that if he's not interested in me, I wouldn't take it to heart and I'll be fine. Yet he gives me the same stuff, now you know if I wasn't into you.. blah blah blah. I would have let you go long before. It sucks because I felt like I met somebody really great within a short time and I felt like he captivated me in a way he made me feel special. Calling me everyday and every night,laughing and talking until the morning. Now he's distant & cold.. Whatever, I'm not going to wait.. if this goes on for a week more.. I'll just slowly push myself away from him. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 Yeah, but if you're not getting out of it what you need...then next the fool, and find a man who will cherish you...and cant wait to spend time with you. I spent 9 long, and lonely years with a man who could care less about me. Thats a lot of time to waste being miserable. Time here on earth is short. You're right... I'm sad because most likely I'm going to be alone again.. Like usual... Link to comment
ponyboy Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 2 months no sex? I think i found the problem lol Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 2 months no sex? I think i found the problem lol I've never been the type to rush sex but I want to get to know each other a little more before we get that intimate. He agreed and said he was fine with it.. Link to comment
Keyman Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Yeah sure, it might have something to do with the sex thing, but he has said he is fine with waiting. Then it might have something to do with him having a stressful week or couple of weeks. He has said a couple of times now that he does want to be in a relationship, so maybe give him some space, try not to go too bonkers over it all for a week or two. I know that it will probably be rather hard, but try not to call him for a week and see if he wonders whats happening with you enough to contact you. If after this time, he doesn't spark up a little then start asking him questions. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 ^^^ yes, i agree, give him some space, could be work stress. let him come to you. Link to comment
littleladyluck Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 I would give him some space. He's been acting like a jerk. Go do your own thing honey! If he really cares he will come after you.. if not. screw him! Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 I would give him some space. He's been acting like a jerk. Go do your own thing honey! If he really cares he will come after you.. if not. screw him! At this point I'm going to give him all the space he wants. If he doesn't want to be with me, I really wish he would say that than stringing me along to believe we have something or not. That's what irks me. If he just says the magic words.. I don't want to be with you.. I'll leave. However he keeps feeding me the same crap. Yet he said he was going to call me tonight and it's already midnight, yet not a word.. I'm cutting my phone off and going to bed. Ugh.. I'm so tired of running into these crappy men. It really burns me up inside.. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 well, if he continues being flakey, then yes, i would just break it off yourself. if he is saying he will do something, and then he doesn't, forget it! Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 well, if he continues being flakey, then yes, i would just break it off yourself. if he is saying he will do something, and then he doesn't, forget it! I don't understand what's wrong with me, I've actually started crying. I always seem to run men away.. What is it, am I ugly? Not good enough. It never fails I always get the end of the stick.. I guess lonely nights in bed.. here I go again.. back to the routine.. this sucks Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 How ironic! Tonight he sends a text message saying that he's at work and that he's been busy. He apologized about not being there and he says he will try harder to make it up to me! He told me that he thinks about me constantly and he just kept apologizing. Here I was in bed crying and I'm wiping the tears from my eyes smiling. I'm not going to get too happy.. I'll just wait and see if his actions mirror his words. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 if i'm busy i'm busy. usually during the week i really am. very limited contact happens. some girls cannot take that. oh well for them. Link to comment
MissIndigo Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 He apologized, but is he making any specific plans to see you, and very importantly, stick to those plans? I might not hesitate to be proactive either by suggesting a date and see how he responds to the invite. Tell him something to the effect that "we haven't seen each other in a while, how about we meet over lunch on (insert day here)?" If he wants to see you, he'll make the time or suggest another one if that doesn't work. My bf and I are insanely busy people but even in the early stages of our relationship we still made time for each other with specific plans. We didn't go out as often as we would have liked but we stuck to what we'd discussed to do. Link to comment
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