When you're broke and there's a child involved...

[Emmalin]

I recently posted under the topic of relationship conflicts, and I think that my relationship is probably on the way out. I think that, with a LOT of counseling we MIGHT be able to make it work, but the last time we found our relationship in trouble the task of fixing it fell almost completely on me, and was one of the worst periods of my life. I'm just too damn exhausted to go thru that again.

But I digress. Basically, I have very little confidence in this relationship on an emotional level. On a practical level, it's different. I am making about $800 a month, and could maybe rent a studio apartment for me and my daughter to share, though even that would be a struggle, and would mean that I'd have to give up my dog. Our schedules are staggered so as not to pay for childcare, which would be an extra expense and hassle if we split. The job market in the city where I live is TERRIBLE and I have very little education, a problem that would be much more difficult to remedy if I were on my own. My car is in his name, and if he took things particularly hard I might end up without a vehicle.

Ideally, there are a lot of things that should be ironed out before I even bring it up. BUT. We are renting a house right now and we have to be out by the end of this month. So my feeling is, if I've pretty much made up my mind that we shouldn't be together, which I pretty much have, wouldn't it be better to end it now rather than make a brand new commitment to a new house? Only, if I do that, how can I possibly get it together in less than a month to live on my own WITH a child, when I've never done that before? Is this even logistically possible?

 

(A few details, if it helps with clarity: We've been together for 4 years, we have one daughter who's about to turn 2, we've been in this house for about 2 1/2 years, he's 25, I'm 26.)

[yellow_sweater]

Place a call to social services. They'll be able to help you with information specific to your city. There are programs that will help you with housing, transportation, childcare, job placements, and education.

 

There is no day like today to break a bad cycle and get on the path where you know you should be.

[top bloke]

I agree.Get some help from social services until you get back on your feet.Do what you must....

[Emmalin]

Thank you. My head is spinning. This kind of situation is difficult enough without a deadline.

[Kalika]

Emmalin

I so so so feel your pain. I have been there.

 

You need to get as many resources together as possible. Definitely find out what local resources there are in the community.

 

Do you have any friends that could share an apartment with you? Or anyone that could help you babysit if you had to work a 2nd job?

[yellow_sweater]

Thank you. My head is spinning. This kind of situation is difficult enough without a deadline.

 

I know, so difficult. And the hardest part might be getting started and making that commitment to the decision. When you're overwhelmed, it's hard to do anything. Just make that first phone call. Get the momentum going.