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The girlfriend says I'm too blunt... Help!?


PWRDbyTRD

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The GF and I have been dating for 18 months or so. The sex at the beginning of the relationship was great! Typically twice a week. Now as our relationship has progressed she says that she is more tired and is sore/sick more often as she complains of being on her feet constantly.

 

I have discussed this issue with her in depth quite a bit and she says that it partially related to the fact that she is more tired or sore/sick more often and partially related to the fact that she now feels more emotionally attached and enjoys just being with me and doing activities versus sex.

 

I honestly don't think she's cheating on me, though she may be, but her recent job change has really put a hamper on our sex life, IMO. I'm 24, she's 23. Yes, she has bad knees.

 

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a smooth talker and I am brutally blunt. Previously she would initiate the contact maybe a 1/3 of the time, which I was OK with. Now it has been a few months since she actually made a move on me. Well, that my dense brain can pick up.

 

She loves kissing, and she kisses the same way whether she just wants to kiss or she wants to take it further making it very hard to read her.

 

While we were talking today she made a few comments which I'm going to post at the bottom of this thread. I am looking for advice and maybe even some tips or things I should say, or the concept I should use to approach the situation.

 

Simply put I need a way to communicate to her that I want her without being too blunt and just 'asking'. She wants hints... I don't get it, so maybe someone on here can help.

 

Her: dont ask...its so blunt that it is rude, ya know?

Her: you can hint around or come on to me...but dont just straight up ask...im pretty ok at hints

Her: just try to be subtle and a lil sexier about things... not so blunt

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So basically you are asking for a better way to initiate sex than to say "hey let's do it" right?

 

There really are ways of trying to initiate it other than to just say that. Maybe start by kissing her a but longer than normal, then rub her back or feet a little bit (a little, or else she might fall asleep!) Take off some of her clothes or yours. But if she looks extremely tired or sick, or tells you she is... don't get offended by it. A lot of days I'm too tired after work too!

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What I'm trying to do is find ways, verbally, to indicate to her that I'm in the mood and want her. Leave the touching aside. She says I'm too blunt... I guess I'm looking for insight as to what I can say as 'hints' which would indicate to her that I want her.

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What I'm trying to do is find ways, verbally, to indicate to her that I'm in the mood and want her. Leave the touching aside. She says I'm too blunt... I guess I'm looking for insight as to what I can say as 'hints' which would indicate to her that I want her.

 

Her: dont ask...its so blunt that it is rude, ya know?

Her: you can hint around or come on to me...but dont just straight up ask...im pretty ok at hints

Her: just try to be subtle and a lil sexier about things... not so blunt

 

Why would you not want to touch her? From what you quoted from her, when she says hints, it sounds like she doesn't want you to say anything at all. Maybe she wants you to hint by touching her, like from what alli said. Touching, rubbing, etc are pretty good hints, and it could possibly turn her on more at the same time too.

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Why would you not want to touch her? From what you quoted from her, when she says hints, it sounds like she doesn't want you to say anything at all. Maybe she wants you to hint by touching her, like from what alli said. Touching, rubbing, etc are pretty good hints, and it could possibly turn her on more at the same time too.

 

She gets snappy sometimes with me if she's not in the mood and I take a physical approach. Nothing aggressive, she's referring to the verbal approach being too blunt. *sighs* Grasping at straws much? I'm about to just throw the whole idea out the window... it's been going on for a few months now.

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