Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi guys, hope you are all well. I just have a question in relation to no contact. My ex dumped me 5 months ago to experience being single and about a month ago I told him to not contact me cos i couldnt be friends with him. I received two missed calls from him a week ago. I sent him a quick text the next day saying Missed your calls, is all ok? Just wondering should I have ignored him or is it ok to have done what I did? I am definitely starting to heal now and dont really want him in my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi so i was on holidays this weekend and I received a text at 2.40 am saying happy birthday and hopeto hear from you soon. he also said that my card was in the post. So when I got home last night there was a card in the post from him saying "i will love you always and I miss you, both at the same time".

This is a guy who dumped me 6 months ago cos he wanted to be with other people.

 

Does this mean anything? Any thoughs greatly appreciated

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Approach with caution. You never know what his real intentions are.

 

I echo this advice - play it cool and safe.

 

I will however say don't write off his intentions as anything less than a genuine desire to reconcile just yet. I am a dumper and I would write exactly the same thing in my ex's birthday card as I want her back, we've been broken up 6 months.

 

Maybe some LC to gauge his intentions is the best idea...just text him 'thank you for the card' but don't mention the message inside.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks for the advice guys. When he broke up with me 6 months ago he said there was very little chance of him wanting to be with me for years down the line, cos he wants to experience being single (he is only 22). However I saw a picture of him on his friends facebook with another girl at a party. I just dont know whether to continue on ignoring him but it does seem a bit cold hearted on my part if I do that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Hi X,

 

Thanks for the card. It was a very sweet gesture. I hope all is well with you.

 

 

Take care,

 

~Princess5~"

 

 

So here, what you've done it thanked him for the card, reinforcing that his gesture was well received while keeping mysterious how well received it was. Basically, it forces him to initiate more contact if he wants to genuinely reconcile.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Saying thanks as long as it's succinct is the polite thing to do. If he engages you in conversation you can say that you're really not in the mood to talk. Of course do this as politely as you can.

 

I try to be civil towards my ex. A mutual friend told me that it drives him mad because he gets the vibe that I'm already too indifferent to be rude/angry/cold. But for the record, yeah I'm indifferent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are confused. Either you want him back or you don't. Make a choice.

 

Focus on you only and what is best for you. Either he fits in to that or he does not. If you dont want him back, then don't call. Calling provides an opportunity for mistakes. Be smart. Keep any written contact short and to the point. And then Dont worry about him. He's not your responsibility anymore.

 

If you want him back. Keep all communication in writing so as not to make emotional mistakes. Think about what you write. Use your head and not your heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yeah i guess I do kinda want him back, was trying to convince myself that I don't but of course I do.

 

Do any of ye think that there's a chance for us?

 

Thanks

 

You said this in your first post, " I am definitely starting to heal now and dont really want him in my life."

 

Just move on. To be blunt, he left you half a year ago so he could have sex with other girls. He probably started calling u again because he has nobody to have sex with anymore. You're his backup plan now--the last option for him since he lost all his sex buddies. If you take him back, don't be surprised if he pulls the same thing on you again. Ignore him. You were almost healed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think it is a depressing way to look at it, it's just another way to look at it which could indeed be correct. Unless he gives you a true reason to believe he wants to get back with you then believe that he doesn't. I know that it is difficult to think like that but giving yourself false hope will hurt more in the long run.

 

I agree with the rest though. Send the text back and if he replies go from there, if he doesn't, then don't worry about it. Be strong, people are here to support you!

 

Geneticfreak

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know, its so great to have you guys support. Thank you so much everyone. Yes getting your hopes up can be dangerous, and I dont want to end up a square one again. I guess I know in my heart that he has no intention of getting back together, not now anyway. I just hate when he says things like I love you always and I miss you. Saying things like that makes you psychoanalyse everything.

 

It does show that he still cares about me somewhat though?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^ If I were in your position, I would say thank you. It's something I would do if someone else sends me a card. The key here is to treat your ex as if he's nothing special to you--treat him like you will treat any other casual friend or an acquaintance. It shows that you are indeed too indifferent to hate him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^ If I were in your position, I would say thank you. It's something I would do if someone else sends me a card. The key here is to treat your ex as if he's nothing special to you--treat him like you will treat any other casual friend or an acquaintance. It shows that you are indeed too indifferent to hate him.

 

I'll second that.

 

Geneticfreak

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok i understand, i do think that ignoring him completely would be a little cold hearted. Just dont want to give him the impression that im still hung up on him either. I just texted him there anyway saying thank you, will keep you updated if he replies!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...