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How to end it respectfully


yuki

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So I've decided to end things with this guy I've been dating. We've been out on six dates over the course of two months. We have another date scheduled this Saturday (I made my decision after the date was planned). What's the proper way to end it? Should I tell him in person when I see him on Saturday? Cancel the date and tell him over the phone? We have a lot of respect for each other and I do want to remain friends if he feels the same way.

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So I've decided to end things with this guy I've been dating. We've been out on six dates over the course of two months. We have another date scheduled this Saturday (I made my decision after the date was planned). What's the proper way to end it? Should I tell him in person when I see him on Saturday? Cancel the date and tell him over the phone? We have a lot of respect for each other and I do want to remain friends if he feels the same way.

If you really don't want to go on the date then I would call him and just be honest.

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I would call him before Saturday and let him know. I would hate to think of a decent guy getting ready for what he thinks will be a nice date on a Saturday night only to be dumped.

I very much agree with this. Let him down gently over the phone. Don't keep the poor guy hangin.

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really????

So, if you start seeing someone, spending time with someone, and start to get attached to this person, and think something has the potential of happening, then the other person changes their mind, you would think you would NOT deserve the courtesy of an in-person "dumping" as you may put it.

6 dates in 2 months. That's not even one a week. Phone would be cool with me.

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The thing is I'm not a phone person. I just don't get through very well when I'm on the phone. I would rather do it in person because, as silly as it might sound, I want my sincerity to get through to him (perhaps prior to Saturday so that he can make other plans for Sat.), especially because I want to remain friends, but my question is whether HE would rather hear it over the phone.

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I would think, if i were in his shoes, i'd rather hear it over the phone in order to give me time to 'adjust' to the news in privacy, not face to face so the other party can see the play of emotion, or most importantly - time to compose myself.

The phone would be my preferance as the party being left in the dirt.

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Actually I don't think he'll take the news that hard because I don't think he's that into me anyway and I know he's dating other women.

I actually recall reading somewhere that some people think it's more respectful to quietly fade away when your relationship isn't serious, as opposed to directly rejecting the person. Does anybody agree? I really want to take the approach that will crush his ego the least...

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I actually recall reading somewhere that some people think it's more respectful to quietly fade away when your relationship isn't serious, as opposed to directly rejecting the person. Does anybody agree? I really want to take the approach that will crush his ego the least...

Personally, I think it's better to be upfront. Trying to let things "just fade away" sounds easy, but can get complicated if one person is more into it than the other person.

Over the phone is fine. You've only met six times and you're not in a committed, exclusive relationship.

Simply say: "I've enjoyed spending time with you, but I don't think we have the connection I'm looking for." Direct and respectful. Don't trash talk him (of course you wouldn't), don't patronize him (none of the "it's not you, it's me, you're great" stuff). Keep the conversation short and to-the-point. Answer any questions he has.

Good luck!

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