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I have a bit of an issue. I'm in an LDR currently, going on 2 years. I love my GF very, very much, and have given her everything I possibly can.

 

She also claims to love me very much, and wants to spend her life with me.

 

About a month and a half ago, she broke up with me for a day. She wouldn't tell me why, only that she felt like she wanted to be single. The next day she said she prayed for guidance (we're both Christian) and that she couldn't believe she could hurt me or ever find anyone better than me, and that she still wanted to be with me. I gladly accepted her back...but I've been deeply hurt since then.

 

We shared our various community account names/passwords on things like myspace. Its kind of like giving someone the keys to your house, when you're in a relationship like this. During the time she broke up with me, she didn't give me any information...so I did something I'd never done before. I logged into her account to look at her messages.

 

I found flirty stuff...nothing -too- crazy...but still hurtful. Playful, kissy, cutesy stuff with other guys.

 

I confronted her about this, and she apologized.

 

Recently, My trust had been buildling back up. The past week she has been hanging out with a friend, Jon, a lot. Times when I usually get a call from her or when she'd talk to me, she hasn't. I'm very easing going...I don't like to restrict. I asked her up front if he was anything to worry about. She said no, she said she told him right away she had a boyfriend all they are is friends.

 

I, unfortunately, am also going through some depression right now...and my trust is not what it should be. I checked her messages again.

 

There are what I would call flirty messages with this guy, even though she's told me "he's like a brother to me," etc. Maybe I'm wrong, but play-wrestling and biting (these happened in RL), and sending eachother kisses through myspace apps isn't very "sibling" like if you ask me.

 

What do I do? I'm hurt...but I don't want to just tell her I was going through her messages again without a good reason.

 

I'm really baffled. I love this girl. I'd do anything for her. I was planning on moving accross the entire country to be with her. But I can't do that if this is what I'm going to get.

 

*crushed*

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depends how you feel about it. you say you're crushed but is that hurt enough to confront her about it? are you ready to admit you were going through the photos?

 

it's certainly not as bad as stealing someone's password, you both have the pass and both know each other has access.

 

me, i would definitely bring it up. it could be a deal-breaker

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Most people are going to ask why you would check her myspace, but what ever, you did and you found some unsettling things.

 

First of all, I had a situation similar to this, even was told a lot of the same things you were (We're like brother and sister, He's only a friend, blah blah blah). Truth be told I never found out if she cheated on me, but I couldn't be with someone I couldn't trust, and if I worried about who she is with, what they're doing, and if she is telling me the truth;Then I can't focus on what I should be focused on, like loving this person, building a relationship, and making her happy. If I couldn't trust her I couldn't be with her, no matter how much I thought I loved her.

 

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, tell her what you read(through he myspace), and tell her you can't trust her right now. After that- I would tell her to give you some time to think the situation over and if all is worth it.

 

Love makes everyone dumb. What we know is true, what we know is happening, can all be mis guided because of love. We know when someone is lying, and we know if someone has a crush on another person, we can tell, but sometimes our heart tricks our mind into believing a false reality in hopes to make ourselves feel better, and convince ourselves that who we love shares the same feelings, and only those feelings, towards us and no one else. I did this for a long time, but eventually my heart got hurt so much by this girl that my mind said "Enough is Enough...you know what's going on...don't play dumb". I did not follow my heart, I followed logic, and it led me to be a much happier person in the end...

 

Listen to your mind...not your heart(for this situation), and you will make the right choice. The heart plays too much on emotions, and that is not good for this situation.

 

Good luck, and I hope things work out for you in the end...

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I spoke with her last night. I was fairly straightforward, and simply told her I was having trust issues and that I've been very upset lately.

 

She says she wants so much to gain my trust back, and that she knows it her fault that I feel this way.

 

Its hard because this is an LDR. I'll just keep talking to her as much as I can and I guess we'll see what happens.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh yeah, because she said there's nothing to worry about nothing must be going on. Like nobody has ever heard that load before.

 

Don't pay any attention to what she's saying and only judge her on her actions. And her actions are that she's spending time with another man. She may not realize it, but she's basically cheating on you. Further proof is all the crap she put online. So she's either bold faced lying about it to you, or she's deluding herself about the friend so she doesn't feel guilty about what's going on. Either way I suggest cutting her out of your life. One way or another she's no good and is either a liar or very immature.

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I tend to agree with Nutz, i prolly couldn't cut someone out of my life just like that, BUT i don't think she's being totally honest with you either. I definitly think you should atleast tell her how your feeling, you are both grown adults and communication is what could save your relationship. Don't let it eat away at you, for your own sake.

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I think she is very dishonest. I have to wonder if she broke up with you for a day because she was testing the waters with someone else and that fell through. She has been hanging around another guy and it is not just a friendship if she is sending him flirty messages. I would cut her loose. Her words don't match her actions.

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When you read someone's diary you always find something you wish you'd never seen... I guess this is the modern day equivalent.

 

Right or wrong you know something is up.

 

I think the answer is communication.. keep talking.. if you let it build up it will kill you both inside..

 

I know, I suffer from jealousy problems and if I don't get reassurance it just gets worse and worse..

 

It is better to know the truth from her.. rather than make up your own script.

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Signs she is not faithful
Signs she is not faithful

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