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What actually makes someone promiscuous?


maverick554
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This probably seems like an odd question, but I think its an interesting one to discuss. Nearly everyone on this forum is coming here for help in getting over a breakup and an ex. And I'm sure many of us (whether male or female) have at one point or another during the course of the post-breakup time (or maybe even during the relationship) have said that their ex (again whether male or female) was promiscuous, or a more derogatory name referencing promiscuity. So putting emotions and anger toward an ex aside, objectively ask yourself: in your opinion what actually makes somebody promiscuous? Also consider: Do you have different standards for males and females? Just thought this would be an interesting thread to post, please reply with your input. Thanks.

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From Wikipedia:

In human sexual behavior, promiscuity denotes casual sex between many partners.[1] Behavior includes sex with partners who are not one's spouse.

 

That is pretty much how I would describe the term promiscuity. However, in addition to this I think it is important to note that what sexual behaviour is acceptable, and what sexual behaviour is considered as 'promiscuous' will vary accross cultures and time. Decades ago, and even still in many cultures, having sex with more than one sexual partner would definitely be considered as promiscuous behaviour. However these days it is not uncommon for individuals to have more than one sexual partner.

 

Anyway, it will be interesting to hear what others have to say!

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i guess for many people they just enjoy sex. For others there are issues of low self esteem and they use sex for external validation. And for others again, promiscuous behaviour is due to a fear of intimacy. There can be many reasons, but i think for most people, it's the latter two.

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i guess for many people they just enjoy sex. For others there are issues of low self esteem and they use sex for external validation. And for others again, promiscuous behaviour is due to a fear of intimacy. There can be many reasons, but i think for most people, it's the latter two.

 

I think your second reason about insecurity and low self esteem/worth is the issue the majority of the time, particularly in women.

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i guess for many people they just enjoy sex. For others there are issues of low self esteem and they use sex for external validation. And for others again, promiscuous behaviour is due to a fear of intimacy. There can be many reasons, but i think for most people, it's the latter two.

 

 

i couldnt agree with you more, i never ever loved my ex wife, i got with her 3 months after my mum died.

 

mother figure? maybe. i was a dirty rotten scoundrel whos life at the time was going down hill, i was selfish, inconsiderate, immature, etc and deserved my divorce.

 

i deserved everything i got, scared,bored and felt unloved.

 

thats why i was promiscuous. i would never ever dream of doing it now

it just isnt in my script anymore and i deservedly have to live with the guilt.

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I think your second reason about insecurity and low self esteem/worth is the issue the majority of the time, particularly in women.

 

Yes, I would very much have to agree with this. And I don't want to go into detail with this, or rile anyone up, but a lot of research has shown that women who come from broken families or stressful family situations are prone to being more promiscuous. My best friend was incredibly promiscuous all of her life. When she was a child, her mother left her father. Her father then tried to kill himself, and went in jail for some reason I'm not sure of. Her mother remarried several times but my friend never really had a father figure. It's like she was searching for male attention in sexual partners, the male attention she missed out on from a father while she was growing up. I can't really explain myself in a more appropriate way... but yeah just though this was interesting.

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Yes, I would very much have to agree with this. And I don't want to go into detail with this, or rile anyone up, but a lot of research has shown that women who come from broken families or stressful family situations are prone to being more promiscuous. My best friend was incredibly promiscuous all of her life. When she was a child, her mother left her father. Her father then tried to kill himself, and went in jail for some reason I'm not sure of. Her mother remarried several times but my friend never really had a father figure. It's like she was searching for male attention in sexual partners, the male attention she missed out on from a father while she was growing up. I can't really explain myself in a more appropriate way... but yeah just though this was interesting.

 

 

I know that "polls" and studies suggest this, but I have known way too many people who come from broken homes who are not promiscuos.

 

If you think about it, really, MOST people we know DiD come from a broken home. But yet most people we know are NOT promiscuos. Very few people come from Cleaver families. Most of us had it pretty rough.

 

I think often this can become an excuse that the promiscuous person relies on or their partner trying to analyze them relies on.

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its not about broken homes...

 

i think its a combo of high sex drive and like i said because they can.. so they act on the pleasure of instant gratifaction...

 

i was pretty promiscuos when i was younger.. i did it because i could and the option was there for me... some of my friends could not get girls so they didnt...

 

when i went out and girls would throw them self at me.. its was easy to be primiscuos... i think this is why guys do it... it might be different for girls...

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I know that "polls" and studies suggest this, but I have known way too many people who come from broken homes who are not promiscuos.

 

If you think about it, really, MOST people we know DiD come from a broken home. But yet most people we know are NOT promiscuos. Very few people come from Cleaver families. Most of us had it pretty rough.

 

I think often this can become an excuse that the promiscuous person relies on or their partner trying to analyze them relies on.

 

i agree. i think its just an excuse. i'm not promiscuous and i've from an abusive, broken home.

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I know that "polls" and studies suggest this, but I have known way too many people who come from broken homes who are not promiscuos.

 

If you think about it, really, MOST people we know DiD come from a broken home. But yet most people we know are NOT promiscuos. Very few people come from Cleaver families. Most of us had it pretty rough.

 

I think often this can become an excuse that the promiscuous person relies on or their partner trying to analyze them relies on.

 

Obviously a lot of us come from broken families and tough childhoods or situations in our lives. And we're not all promiscuous, are we? But in my sociological and psychological studies I've found that out of the people who are promiscuous, almost all of them have come from bad family situations and most women have had absent father figures. This doesn't suggest that everybody who has come from a situation like this will be promiscuous, but out of the people who do display promiscuous behaviour, it is theorised that often it tracks back to a psychological problem that has roots in family issues/ father issues/ etc. But you're absolutely right, it's fallible to just draw a line and say promiscuous people are promiscuous because they have family issues.

 

I agree with what you're saying, I just thought the story with my best friend was interesting. And she definitely didn't use her father issues as an excuse for her promiscuity. I thought of it by myself when I was studying psych at uni, and have never suggested it to her because I know she would either be offended or deny that's they reason why she displays promiscuous behaviour. It's just an idea that I thought was interesting, no conclusions.

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I've found that out of the people who are promiscuous, almost all of them have come from bad family situations and most women have had absent father figure

 

But that is the problem with studies. if most people in the world fall into a certain category, then it goes w/out saying that if one studies a certain 'type' they will ALSO fall into that major category since most people who do or do not have that 'type' fall into it.

 

It would have a little more validity if a counter study were then conducted of similar random participants who are NOT promiscuos to see what their own childhood background was like. I know quite a few non promiscuous people who also would fall into the category of 'broken home' or lack of father figure.

 

I know you are not touting this as fact, I only bring it up because many people have this same argument about what makes people promiscous and the studies are often flawed simply because more people in society are from a turbulent childhood than those who are not.

 

Out of all of the people I have met and befriended in my life, i can honestly say ONLY ONE (isn't that sad) speaks of his childhood in such a positive manner and who seemed to have that beaver cleaver style background. And he is in his 40s and never been married so apparently even tho his mother and father were very happy and raised him well it didn't really rub off as he doesn't want to ever get married (which certainly isn't a flaw) LOL

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from the time I was 14 until I was 19, I was a very promiscuous. I had been sexually molested when I was nine and never had anyone tell it was wrong. I had very low self esteem, and assumed that this was an appropriate way to relate to men. So if I liked a guy I would just sleep with them due to learned behavior at a younger age. By the time I admitted to myself that being molested was wrong I, in an insane way, felt comfortable giving myself to many men. I couldn't trust myself or any man to let them in any other way except for sexually. To become emotionally attched to any man, who have been too much to bare at the time, vulnerabilty was too scary and promiscuity felt safe and I never had to commit, I could always run away.

 

Now I can say that I am no longer promiscuous, 10 years after dealing with my sexual molestation. I still have trust issues, but nothing to the extent it was. When it come to women or men who are promiscuos I often wonder what the behind story is, why are they like that, only because I know why I was the way I was.

I believe that promiscuity is done when a person has a lower self esteem and a lack of self confidence or has been taught at a young age a behavior that is not appropraite (cant spell)

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its not about broken homes...

 

i think its a combo of high sex drive and like i said because they can.. so they act on the pleasure of instant gratifaction...

 

i was pretty promiscuos when i was younger.. i did it because i could and the option was there for me... some of my friends could not get girls so they didnt...

 

when i went out and girls would throw them self at me.. its was easy to be primiscuos... i think this is why guys do it... it might be different for girls...

 

this is true....90 percent of the time its just b/c they want to, I went through my 'promiscuous' stage, in college. Had nothing to do with my home life...I just wanted to.

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