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Hey people.

 

So...I think I'm depressed. I say "think" because I haven't been diagnosed.

 

The reasons are many, but mainly I just feel sad a lot, and for no apparent reason. One day can be sort of OK, and the next I feel dead on my feet and can't figure out why I'm doing anything. This has been a problem for nearly 5 years now, maybe more. I had a period of about 6 months that was great, when I first met my girlfriend. At the time I thought I'd found my cure. Unfortunately thats not the case. I'm still with her, after two years...but the random sadness and pointlessness of life has come back in full now.

 

I'm not really sure what to do. I'm looking for some advice...but also expect me to "argue" that advice if its something I thought of on my own before, but had reasons for not doing it. I mention this so you don't think I'm tossing your advice out the window, I'll just be arguing for the sake of giving more information so I can get more help. Most things I might have to say are just too complex to throw out there in one big post.

 

For instance: Why don't you go see a doctor? Good advice, but heres why.

 

I don't know how to explain it to my family. I don't want to deal with the excessive care that my Grandmother would give, and I don't want to hear the hard nosed attitude of my dad. I don't want my GF to feel like she's failing me...or I don't want her to know I have some sort of problem (I'm not sure which is the more major factor with her).

 

Anyway, I'm not doing that great but I'm not sure what to do. I'm not suicidal. I more of less feel like its my "duty" to live. Everybody else has to, I have to put in my time, too. That said, if I got hit by a tractor trailer on the way home I probably wouldn't be too upset, if it was quick.

 

My lunch break here at work is about over, so I guess I'll post this and see what happens. Feel free to ask any questions. Thanks in advance.

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I've had feelings like this for 5-7 years...I'm 22 now, I can remember times in my mid teens where I felt like this. At the time I blew it off as "teenager" stuff.

 

In the past couple months there have been a few things.

 

1. My GF broke up with me for a day. She was confused about some things, and wanted time to think. It was kind of mishandled, and not as big a deal as it was made to be.

 

2. I started a new part time job.

 

3. I started a semester at college taking 5 classes.

 

Those are the most major recent events I can think of.

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All the things you listed could have been a combined factor as to why you are experienced these feelings...especially if there is a family history of it. Also, from what you are saying regarding your family and girlfriend, it seems that you feel that you will burden them or that they wont understand you.

Have you talked to your girlfriend about this? Is this causing a strain on your relationship?

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I've briefly talked to my GF about this. She wants to help and make me feel better, obviously, but I have no idea what to tell her to do. I don't want her to feel helpless/make her feel bad for not being able to help me though, so I stopped talking about it.

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if she wants to help you, thats great, look at her a source of support and as if you will make her bad. Maybe you guys can work together on identifying things that brings out the lowest and what makes you feel your best. for example, something at home may trigger your mood and that will start off a cycle where you feel depressed for days but if you work on somehow singling those factors right away maybe that will help...have you thought about taking anti-depressants at all?

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I don't really like to take medications of any kind if I don't have to.

 

Singling things out could be quite a task, as I started thinking about it.

 

Between issues with my GF (Not her, but situations around our relationship...we're an LDR and Age Gap >

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As someone who deals with depression everyday go to a doctor and talk about this. Untreated depression is horrible. Its a struggle everyday to feel happy and be yourself. It affects your relationships your job and your well being.

 

This is very treatable with simple medication and/or talk therapy. Ive been taking prozac since november and i love it. i feel so much better and it really does make a difference.

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You don't have to take medications if you don't want to, but if I were you I would seek professional help if you can. As pepsi752 said, untreated depression will just lead to a struggle every day to feel happy, be yourself, and succeed in daily things.

 

You said you don't want to take medication, and that's fine. Seek out some therapy or counseling first. See a GP and they will be able to refer you to somebody. I've been in the same situation as you, and saw a therapist who helped to create daily activities which assisted me in completing daily tasks and getting on a path to feeling better. If you try counseling and therapy and it doesn't seem to be successful, then perhaps you can seek out the extra help you may need, i.e. medication.

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It isnt easy to admit that your depressed. Believe me it wasnt fun for me and people ask me anytime i look less than thrilled if its my depression. it gets annoying because you jus want to live your life but it shows me that my friends and family care which helps and means alot.

 

Your family and your gf wont feel helpless, maybe unprepared to help you themselves but they really just want to see you happy. Dont be afraid to let them help you

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