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What should I do about living situation?


baker53

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Hi everyone it’s been a while since I’ve posted here but I do come by and read and you’ll really do help a lot so I’m here to ask for advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years on and off. We have kind of lived together (stayed together but not on the same lease) most of our relationship but have officially lived together this past year because we both were on the lease. Through this year we have definitely had our ups and downs and I have learned a little bit more about her. I also feel like our relationship has gone very stale over this past year, almost like a couple that has been married for a while. We don’t really go out on “dates” because we live together (but we still go out and do stuff), she has kind of let her self go physically, and anything intimate or sexual has pretty much stopped completely. Now I’m sure I have relaxed a little bit too but I feel like it is more on her end. And as a result of all this I’ve started to look at other girls and wonder if my girlfriend and I should even stay together. I think this partly because we are somewhat young (both are 21yrs) and she is my first long term girlfriend. We have also broken up 3 times in the two years that we have been together. The most recent happening about a year ago, which was also the longest and the most serious breakups out of the three.

 

My solution to all this was that when our lease run up in June that I tell her that I don’t think we should live together for a year to see what it is like. I think that this will make the time that we spend together more special because I will be “our” time. Instead of seeing each other every day when we get back from school and off work and are tired and stressed out, we will be happier to see each other and it may bring back that spark. And if things end up going sour in the relationship we will not be bound together by a year long lease. Now what I am worried about is that she is going to freak out and break up with me because we will be taking a step backwards in our relationship, because she has this phobia of not being married by the time she is 24 or 25.

 

So what would you’ll suggest I do? Is my plan the best way to go about this or is there a better way to do this. Also when should I tell her that I don’t think we should live together anymore? And if there is anything that you’ll want to know more about our relationship please feel free to ask because I think I could write a short novel on the ups and downs of our relationship.

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yeah, on the outside it may seem like you're taking a step backwards, but if you feel that this will do your relationship good, then do it.i agree that it might bring back the spark. it can be pretty risky, so you have to be ready and be extremely careful because as you said, she might freak out...so make sure you explain it to her well. good luck!

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Thanks...I talked to one of my friends about my idea today and he said that I was crazy for doing this, and to only do it if I wanted to end the relationship. So what would be the best way to go about telling this to her with out her freaking out on me completely. And I was thinking maybe I am just trying to slowly end the relationship, so how do I know if it is time for us to go our separate ways? Because the last time we broke up I was pretty upset until we got back together.

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