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UPDATE_we met after a month..spend weeked together..now wat??


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So we finally met after a month. She came to my place first and we had a friendly limited conversation. Then we went shopping and opened up a bit. She told that she missed me! I suggested we should talk before getting back together and sort out the issues.

 

We made love and then went to attend my friend's wedding. I dont know how it happened!!! Just went with the flow. I dont regret it though.

 

We had a fight. I was introduced to 3 few girls by a friend, had a drinks with em. It made her upset (or was she acting) I m not sure. But she was pretty angry. And believe me I did try to flirt or even got cosy with them.

 

Anyways things cooled down and she returned to my place. I tried to initiate talks about the issues but it seems she was not interested. She was acting like nothing happened!!!

 

I am sure that she has not dated any one but made many friends within this month. It seems she got pretty friendlyto one guy and he even asked her for a date, which she denied. But she beaved quite rudely whenever I tried to find out about him.

 

Anyways she left my place on sunday evening. All the hugs, kisses, love making happened smoothly. The way she hugged, and kiss me while sleeping made me go weak on my knees(She used to wake up at nights just to kiss me and hold me tight when we were together).

 

She even agreed to meet nxt saturday again and promised to call me yesterday night. Which she did not! I called her today, she was busy

I dont know how to go about it from now onwards. We are not back together yet and I need to talk about our issues which she tries to avoid.

 

Well we both had a good time for sure but I missed the connection to a some extent!

 

I am planning to go on NC till saturday....

 

Whats ur thoughts friends??

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You gave her the gravy without getting her to accept the steak first. The sizzle without the nizzle. You know what I mean... Why would she discuss anything now? She wanted her fix, and you handed it over. I'd back off again, go NC, and next time she pops up, ask her your questions BEFORE you sleep with her. If she doesn't answer them, then no lovin'.

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Ha ha! Who knows. She may have spent the last two weeks thinking about it. Maybe she got spurned a couple of times and needed an ego boost. Maybe she wanted "safe" sex. Maybe it did just happen. Maybe maybe maybe. My experience is if a girl comes onto you strong and you want a relationship with her, play the "shy" card and say you want to get to know her first, which will flush out her true feelings. If she wants you, she'll wait and get even more clingy. If it's just a ONS, well, you miss out on easy sex but if it's gonna hurt you emotionally it's probably not the worst thing to happen. Bottom line is that you're not two people who've just met, so sex doesn't "just happen". Live and learn, eh!

 

Editing just to highlight where things went wrong:

 

You went from:

 

I suggested we should talk before getting back together and sort out the issues.

 

To:

 

We made love and then went to attend my friend's wedding.

 

Unless you forgot to type it out, there's a whole bit missing. You gave her a condition, she ignored it, tested your resolve, and you failed. She walks away thinking "What a chump, still got him round my little finger!"

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even i thought of avoiding that...I could not resist *shy* ... but where do I go from here...to be honest I knew she might disappear again... so it certainly did not come out of the blue... I want to give my best... if she does not come back.. its fine... and Is thr any way to find out if there is a 3rd person in the scene!? Man ...I even hate to think about it!

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Just disappear again, like you did the first time. The ball is in her court now. And get her to talk about the problems before having sex! I'd even advise no sex until you guys have met up a few times, and only for a few hours each time. Treat it like a new potential relationship.

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And get her to talk about the problems before having sex! I'd even advise no sex until you guys have met up a few times, and only for a few hours each time.

 

This is SO important. You don't want to wind up in a situation in which you end up sleeping together, not discussing anything and then your ex just says that there's nothing there and they don't want you back. It happened to me and it's very painful to go through that rejection all over again.

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oh no Crazyboutdogs I did not flirt...and I was just introduced to them and had a small chat and had a drink. And we hed sex before and after wedding...

 

she even told once..."lets get married"!!! I knew she did not mean it..

 

LOL@midnightrambler...

 

Heartgoeson... yes I am also having same kinda feeling... but its not hurting that much as of now... I set my expectation level pretty low before the meeting..and sex was the last thing on my mind...but somehow I screwed it up!

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just got a call from her... she said she is not ready yet, still loves me and will be there always for me. Expects the same from me in return.. She told me to keep calling and would try to meet once a week.

 

She is having some family problem and her family is her priority. So at this point of time she cant afford of relationship.

 

I respect her relationship... but I am still not convinced.

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just got a call from her... she said she is not ready yet, still loves me and will be there always for me. Expects the same from me in return.. She told me to keep calling and would try to meet once a week.

 

She is having some family problem and her family is her priority. So at this point of time she cant afford of relationship.

 

I respect her relationship... but I am still not convinced.

 

I don't think you should meet with her once a week. She has slept with you and does not want a relationship. That is a very painful thing to go through when you want someone back. Seeing her will just make it worse. I mean, if you think you can handle it, by all means go ahead, but if it were me, I would avoid the person unless they wanted to be with me. I've gone down that path of trying to spend time with someone who I wanted who did not want me and it's very painful and prevented me from meeting others and developing other relationships.

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so Lady00, its time to go NC right? Believe me I am not in pain anymore... I know its not easy... Yes I will miss her... But I have prepared myself well in the last 5 weeks for the worst case scenarios(Thank U all and ENA)... I tried my best and I have no regrets. Its time to move on I guess!

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