uayeah Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 ive been with my girlfriend for about 7 months. lately we have been having fights. i live about an hour from her, i see her mostly fri, sat, and sundays. Sometimes she will drive up on thursday nights when she comes here. Ive had plans to go to the beach with my friends for spring break for months, i even told her back in september that i was going to my friends condo, and she didnt seem to mind. As of late she has basically tried to keep me from going. She thinks ill get to drunk and do something bad. She says "single people go down to the beach for spring break, not guys with serious girlfriends" Now, I am in a fraternity and i drink regularly, and if i wanted to cheat i think i would have done it already, because hot girls are a dime a dozen at every party i go to. and i know if she had plans to go to the beach for her spring break, she wouldnt give it up for me, she does whatever her friends want, and they basically can manipulate her and she sucks up to them hardcore. i mean the only reason she hasnt made plans is because she doesnt have much money right now i plan on going to the beach regardless, and she says im sacrificing our relationship by going because all my friends are single. ive cut my trip down from 7 days to about 4-5 days. I know i wont cheat on her, cause i love her and no girl is ever on my mind but her. I just wanna go down, have some guy time and drink some beer. I never really get to see my friends because i have a pretty heavy load this semester, and most of my free time is spent napping or when i can seeing her. im worried tho about when i come back from the beach she is gonna have suspicions about me cheating and they arent going to be true and it is gonna make these weird and ill lose her. part of me wants to not go anymore, because im pretty sure we will just fight on phone, but i cant really bring myself to not go because i dont want to hear it from my bros, its embarrassing. I may make the sacrifice if i was with her a year or two, but we are all ready like an old married couple. i think she has no place to tell me she doesnt want me to go. what shes doing is making me scared that we will end just because i go to the beach. i dont know what i should do, i feel like i deserve a trip. i took her to the mountains and she got sick, we spent 3 hrs in emergency room, got rained in hotel room so we couldnt even go home early. that trip put me in the hole for a while. i know she couldnt help that she was sick but i mean i took care of her whole time. for my bday we didnt even go out because she was sick. this weekend my frat had a huge party, and shes still sick. i told her to take off for party month in advance and she finally did that just to get sick. so friday nite she stayed home and on my way back from eye appt before going back to school i stopped and saw her for like 30 mins, making myself late, and she seemed fine. saturday she had a mood swing and got mad because i went to my party that ive been waiting for for a month! she knew it was important to me! so she ends up coming down saturday night, still sick just to lay in my bed and not go to the party, so i go for a few hours and she had to make comments whole time about me leaving. help Link to comment
messedup85 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 She may be trying to control you. I think she may have some trust issues. Ask her why she thinks you would misbehave while your away with the boys. You are allowed to go with your guys to the beach and she shouldn't make you feel guilty for it. I don't think she is being fair to you and if she is threatening to leave if you go on a trip with your friends you should maybe evaluate if the relationship is worth fighting for or not. Link to comment
cruzer Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I think you should just go to the trip. If she calls u up and tries to start a fight, tell her "I know i wont cheat on her, cause i love her and no girl is ever on my mind but her" of course reword it replacing you for she, then hang up. If when u get back she tries to accuse you of cheating, or starts an argument, again explain that you did not, and will not cheat on her, and she needs to stop before she ruins the relationship. Bottom line, if you cannot go out with your friends, the relationship is not going to work and is not worth it. She has a problem if she makes this a huge deal and there is nothing u can do it fix the problem, its on her. Link to comment
uayeah Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 thanks for the advice, ive even offered her a chance to come with us, my friend said she could come along. but she didnt like that idea? oh well. im just worried that if i go, she will act different because she may think in her head that i did something and it will ruin what we have. we both can get a little jealous, she's done things that i find sketchy. she likes to go watch a band play that her friends are in that are all guys, invited me once then univited me to go with her. whats the difference if i go on sb? a week after we were official she left my apt early to go with her friend to a frat party, had a pic of a guy she met at the beach when we werent serious holding on to her unnappropriately(hands around waist). We got through that because she said he just came up when they were taking a pic. I believed her, because all this might not sound like this but this girl is faithful, just a lot of guy friends. but the way i see it is if i have to sit here and worry myself about her when shes out with her friends at bars and stuff, then i should be able to sit on the beach and her understand? Link to comment
mechie22 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Honestly I would be concerned if she is putting so much worry on you about cheating, maybe it could be her placing her own guilt on you. Definitely could not be the case but it is a possibility. Link to comment
cruzer Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 im just worried that if i go, she will act different because she may think in her head that i did something and it will ruin what we have. My point is that if she cant trust you, it will hinder the relationship and it wont work. If u go and she just never lets it go (her thinking u did something) you then realize its not going to work and can get out of it. If u dont go, and u go to something say a year later and realize how she is, you wasted a whole year being with someone it will never work with. Did you act different after all the stuff she did at the beginning and her other trips/parties? If yes, then u have to expect her to as well... If no, then she should not act different either... Link to comment
uayeah Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 yeah, thats a good point. if i dont go, thats just playing it safe and silly. if im meant to be with someone, i wont do anything stupid, and she should trust me no matter how party oriented the destination is. maybe the fact that she is so worried about me doing something stupid is that she cant trust herself if she was in my situation? Link to comment
Emmalin Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 It sounds like this relationship may have become more serious and intense than either of you need right now. She's totally insecure, whether that's justified or not, and no one wants to be constantly reassuring their significant other. Also, something stood out to me that you said, about how she does everything her friends tell her. First of all, that's very immature of her, if it's true. But then you say that you don't feel like taking crap from your friends for not going. Slow it down or end it. Too much work. Link to comment
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